Monday, August 9

Fear.

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This picture is of a real wall at a festival called The Burning Man festival. Google it if you want, I don't know TONS about it, but anyways. I love the concept and decided to post it because I've been thinking today about how scared I am to leave.

I'm leaving for Europe in October. I'm super excited, the family I am living with seem like they are going to be great. I'm going to be an au pair and the girls are going to be great I can tell, and their mom Abby seems super great, think i will get on with her super well. Honestly, there isn't much more I could ask for. The thing I'm scared about is making friends. I've never had an issue making friends really, I like everyone and find it extremely easy to talk to just about anyone. But going to a new country, to a town, where everyone has their own friends and its a different culture..it just makes me nervous. Usually you just need one link, one person you know who can kind of kick start your social life in a new place. I don't have that at all.

In Guatemala it was easy. First of all, I had 4-5 different roomates by the time I left and a lot of them had a bunch of friends by the time I got there that I connected with. Then I worked at an orphanage AND went to a spanish school, and lets face it, being not guatemalan makes you stand out and it was easy to find people who could speak english and who you had tons in common with because i mean.. you both went to guatemala, you prob had SOMETHING you could talk about together. and on top of that, all the locals were super friendly so i made friends with them as well. it's not that i think europeans are rude or anything, but people aren't going to approach me for fun, i'm just another person with my own things going on to them, if they notice me at all, they wont know im canadian and friendless. im sure i will meet people somehow im just realizing how different its going to be than guatemala. I think that I will get along good with the family but i don't want to constantly be under abbys feet.. i dunno. anyways..now im just ranting! aha.

Basically.. my blog was going to be about fear. And facing it. Looking in the eyes and saying fuck you, excuse my francais. I try to do things that scare me and this one is going to be big on the list. I have a good feeling about it though.. I'm keeping optimistic. i was super nervous about my trip to guatemala last august/september and it turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me so I can't let my fear of being a loser get in the way, hahaha! I guess i could use the age old tactic of going to a bar alone, having too many drinks, and approaching complete strangers. whatever works, eh?

i didnt see a secret this week that particularly spoke to me so i didnt post one. there were a few about people being scared of this generation of kids coming up and i can't even get started on that subject, lol.

so i wish i had something ACTUALLY interesting to say but i honestly don't. i've just been working and hanging out with my amazing friends when i can. i HAVE met more people though, especially after this last shameful weekend i just had, so I must be getting close to my goal of 15 new friends. Yizzzayyy. When i move to europe I will definitely be posting some at least half interesting blogs im sure and maybe even some vlogs, pretty crazy stuff for sure. aha

Anyways, I think that's all from me, to my two readers, probably Tam and Maddy, i love you guys .haha

PS. I have a fun little story. I was picking up Maddy for a slushie run and I parked like..perpendicular to her house about a meter from it. These kids were driving by on their bikes and I dunno if it was for fun or to be entertaining but one of the kids went through the space, instead of around my car, and at the exact same time maddy opened the door and biffed the kid on the bike. HA. i guess you kinda had to be there but its funny, i promise.
ok. adioss...

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