Saturday, December 31

befores, afters, resolutions.

First, in October there was super fat GRUMPY BAILEY!












Then, on NYE, almost 3 months and 20lbs later there is a much happier, healthier, less fat Bailey!

This is my NYE dress that I bought in advance. The holidays have been way too busy for the after pics with Robyn that I promised but in the spring my mom (who has lost almost 30 lbs!!!) and I hope to get some new mother daughter pictures done by her because we love her work.

I have overcome a lot this year, as I wrote about earlier, but now it's time to move on. Any of you who are good friends will know soon that i made a pretty big decision yesterday and I've decided to make 2012 a year of good decisions and changes and experiences. I have lots of resolutions and I know that I'm going to achieve them.

Obviously many of my resolutions have to do with losing weight. I plan to reach my goal weight this year but also get into better shape. I want to start running more, especially when the weather is nice, so that some day i will be strong enough to run a 5k, run a 10k, etc. I want to focus on getting right with myself, finding beauty in myself and feeling more confident and happy with who I am. I want to keep writing because I find so much happiness and emotional fulfillment in my blog and the response I get from it. I want to travel a bit and look into a move off the island and possibly some post secondary education.

2012 will be great for us all, we just have to make it that way and work with the obstacles that life will inevitably give us! What are your resolutions?

Happy New Year, Be safe. xo
Big Love
Bailey.

Thursday, December 29

all in the family.

Clearly great writing is in my blood as my sister-in-law was just published in the globe and freaking mail today. Okay.. she's not my blood relative but it just so happens that she also writes. She doesn't just write though, she's amazing. Her writing is hilarious and real and educated, I hope some day my writing can be this good! First of all, if you havn't already seen it pop up in my side bar of blogs, you need to check out here blog : http://www.h-a-p-p-e.blogspot.com/

So as I mentioned she was just published in the globe and mail so I wanted to spread the word and let you guys have the opportunity to read. It's a good article for anyone as she's pretty entertaining but especially for those mamas out there as she talks about what it's like raising her four beautiful children.

So without further adieu, click here to read Robin's article :)

Some day I will be published somewhere..someday.. ahah.

Big love,
Bail

Wednesday, December 28

Perspective














I needed a bit of perspective before I start my new year. I saw myself in the first picture, almost puked, then laughed. I put on the dress, took a picture, stepped back from any negative thoughts and told myself - you are the fucking bomb!!

Okay. I may not be the bomb yet but I'm closer to it than I was a year ago..or even 4 months ago. Four months ago is when I really started putting my heart and soul into getting fit and I HAVE to take a few minutes every once in a while to appreciate it and congratulate myself on how well I have done.

Am I in a size 4 jeans? No. I'm SO far from being in a size 4 it's not even funny.
Have I gone down 3 jean sizes this year? Yeah, I have. 3 jean sizes. Fucking hell.

Am I at goal weight? No. I'm not even half way actually.
Have I lost 35 pounds? Why yes, yes I have lost 35 lbs. That's like a large one year old, my nephew for example. Also, I've worked out more than I ever have in my life and I'm in decent shape so the muscle I've gained would probably impress me.

Do I have a boyfriend because I'm so smokin hot? I sure don't!
Do I feel like a million bucks anyway? Yeah. Sometimes I think, you're sorta almost smokin hot anyway, who cares if no guy thinks so and no guys looks at you! I am decently happy with myself and so excited to see what else I'm capable of.

Am I Jennifer Hudson and spokesmodeling for a major weight loss company like WW? You're fuckin right I'm not.
Do people tell me all the time that I inspire them? yeah, and it feels awesome. I want to spread the awesome and I want to inspire others to change their lives and feel awesome about themselves because there is nothing better. No boyfriend, no drug, no chocolate bar, no dress can make you feel amazing. To feel loved and amazing and to fully love others and let em love you back right, you must love yourself first and I truly believe that.

Did I eat like a maniac and gain over the holiday? You're darn tootin. I gained 3 lbs and while I'm not proud I'm not surprised either.
Am I going to not only kick ass this new year but reach my goal by the end of the year? Fuck yeah, and I can't wait. Come hell or high water..

Thanks everyone again, for the millionth time, for all your support. There is no way to adequately show with writing or any other medium really how much it means to me and how much it pushes me forward! Thank you thank you gracias merci thank you!!!

Big Love
Bailey

Monday, December 26

embrace the lazy.

Over at For The Love Of Blogs they started a project awhile ago called Embrace The Face where users posted about the things about their faces that they embrace. Then the project turned into generally embracing things in your life. Today I decided to join in and probably will continue to do so every once in a while so if you see a post about me embracing something..that's why.

Today is boxing day and my final day off before I head back to work tomorrow. Clearly, today I am embracing being LAZY! I found some lazy pins and thought I'd share and encourage those of you who are also embracing the lazy to continue to do so!

Merry Boxing Day :)




Source: funster.us via Betsy on Pinterest








i have literally done this.. more than once. hahaha.

<3

Saturday, December 24

happy holidays - the classy way.

I definitely needed to send out a sober happy holidays! Can't believe I made it through an intoxicated post without completely destroying any personal relationships or ruining my reputation. Good work Bailey!

I have been thinking a lot today of the years I have spent Christmas without family. There was the year my brother Jer was in Afghanistan, the year we went to visit Jer in Ontario and I was away from basically EVERYONE else, and all the years I have spent with just my parents. I have had friends come and go and family come and go and its really not the time you want to be apart from those you love.

This year, my brother Reuben is in Australia as well as Diana who is one of my best friends. Jer and Robin and the kids are in Ontario and it feels like everyone is just so far away. Is that he worst that could happen though? I still have so many amazing friends+family here and I know that those I love are safe and happy wherever they are.

Today my heart hurts not for myself and those I am missing but for others. My heart hurts for those who have no one to spend their Christmas with, those who have family members who are sick or hurt, those who have lost and will never spend another Christmas with a certain friend or family members and those who can't afford a Christmas.

I am so fortunate. I have an amazing family and group of friends and each Christmas gets better for me. I am always surrounded by people I love and spoiled to death. There are so many people struggling, not just on the holiday, but in general, and we all need to put that into perspective this holiday.

I'm sincerely wishing you all a very merry christmas, from the bottom of my heart. Enjoy every moment with your family and friends - they may not always be there. Enjoy every gift, whether it's what you wanted or not. Enjoy that someone thought about you and spent their hard earned money so that you could have it. Enjoy your break/day off - many will not get one.

super big holiday love comin' atcha.
bailey. x

Saturday, December 17

wow.

2011 has been a weird/interesting/good year for me, it was another year of no school, work and travel. Throughout the past year I have felt at times like I’m moving backward or just sort of treading water and staying in the same place. Do you ever feel like everything your doing is for nothing, you’re just sort of going through the motions of whatever your life entails at that point? Well I felt like that so much, specifically during time spent on the island.
This month though I realized that I have been through quite a bit in the past year. This year was a lot about me growing as a person, woman, traveler, worker and friend. It was about having some experiences that really showed me who I am, who others are and as cheesy as it sounds I feel I learned a lot about life (as much as you can at 20 anyway).
New Years Eve with Maddy, Tam and Sara. I SO fat.
I spent January and the start of Feburary working really hard as I was about to take off from Grand Manan for six months. I was lucky enough to be able to head to PEI where my best friend goes to university and have a girls weekend with my 3 best friends before I left.
PEI :)
So as I mentioned, I was about to leave on a grand adventure. This year I went on my first real backpacking trip! I headed out west first to see my brother Jer, sister in law, 3 nephews and niece in Edmonton. I also got to see my other brother, Reuben who I hadn't seen since I graduated. I had yet to meet the twins or ever go past Ontario so it was a great experience for me! I had a lot of fun and as usual, I spent a lot of quality time with my sister in law who has taught me so much. She got me kickstarted on a diet out there and I lost 5lbs before my trip. That was the last time I ever saw my highest weight - thank fuck!
Left : Jer, Me, Reub
Right: Rusty, Mollie, Max, Will

At the end of February I flew to Guatemala. I was going back to Xela, the town I had visited after graduating. I did some volunteering there at the same orphanage for about a month. Then I spent some time in San Pedro on Lake Atitlan which was amazing. I learned a lot on the lake, some good some bad, and I took a lot away from that part of my
trip.
Outside my hostel in San Pedro
After San Pedro I flew to Costa Rica and met up with Tam. We spent three weeks traveling through Costa Rica and spent a few days in Panama. It was an amazing experience that opened my eyes to how lucky I am that I get to travel and I have a friend who was willing to come experience it with me. After that I traveled up through Nicaragua and into Honduras. I met someone and the next day was headed to the Bay islands. After that I went back through Honduras and into Guatemala again with her and her friendwho had just flown in. I really never knew what my plan was and it was an exhilarating and sometimes scary part to traveling. It made me brave. I spent the rest of my trip back at the lake and headed back to Edmonton at the first of June .
My friend Clarissa and I in San Pedro - she was the life of the party always.
Tam and I in Bocas with our new norweigan friends.
I was back home on June 15 and it was amazing. I learned so much about my friendships while gone and it was the best two days ever finally seeing all the people I love who I had not seen in almost six months. My life basically went back to the same old of work and partying. Typical Grand Manan summer. I moved out of my parents house for a while and lived with my boss and her kids. That was an insane change and when they moved off the island it was pretty hard on me. All in all though, I had a great summer and really cherished being home and with my friends after a few struggles during the trip.
Made it home just in time for prom/grad!
just what i needed after being away!
So now it's December. I'm still living at home, just working and enjoying when I get to visit with friends. I'm back at home with my parents which is the best it's ever been, the move in the summer really helped. In September I made the biggest change ever and decided to lose 100lbs. I've lost 34 and I feel amazing. Most of you have been reading through it all with me and all the support has really helped me. I can't wait for 2012 to start and be the year that I make it to my goal weight.
Like I said earlier, this year has really taught me so much. Here are some of the things I have learned.
  • I learned to set some people back on the ground instead of keeping them on a pedestal. Sometimes the people you love are going to lie to you. They are going to let you down. They are going to hurt you. Sometimes those people seem older, wiser and maybe even perfect but we need to cut them slack. They are human. You get older and realize that no one is perfect.
  • Sometimes those people...they don’t deserve second chances. Sometimes they do.
  • When you make it through the things that break you, they really will make you stronger. They may make you angrier, harder, sad and doubting but eventually you will learn great things from the bad things.
  • Letting go of your anger for someone can bring you so much peace. Feeling happy for them and letting go of anything they did to hurt you can do great things for your own morale. Anger wastes so much energy.
  • I learned that the fact that I’m single doesn’t have to be negative. Being single is not the worst thing in the world. In fact, it could be the best thing for me, especially when the other option is dating someone who doesn’t deserve, respect or treat me the way they should.
  • After traveling I appreciate my independence so much more. I love the people I love with all my heart so if I had a boyfriend I would not be able to leave and travel the way I do. When I finally settle down that will be great and I will love him and I will be thankful for my experiences when I was single. For now I’m so appreciative to not be tied down and to have done the things I have.
  • Attitude is at least 75% of everything. The situation is all how you look at it and react to it. Make the best of everything.
  • I will find love. Some day a guy will see the weird beauty in me, inside and out, and he will love me and I will love him. I am worth it and I don't need to settle for anything less.
  • Great things happen when you least expect/want/need them.
  • People don't always get what they deserve, whether they deserve good or bad things.
  • Gossip is horrid. Until you are the gossip you don't realize how horrible it is. Never judge someones situation and mind your own god damn business because you really never know what the real deal is.
  • The reason you don't know the real deal is cause it's not your deal to know.
  • Sometimes people don't mean to hurt you when they do. The way you wanted things to be just wasn't the way they were suppose to be and that's not their fault.
  • You will grow apart from friends. It doesn't mean the friendship wasn't worth it, it just means life happened.
  • Sometimes you get what you give and karma can be a real asshole. Karma can also be a delightful gift.
  • My mother loves me more than anyone ever in the world.
  • I deserve better than to let people walk all over me. I have stood up to more people this year than ever before. I refuse to be a doormat.
  • I am stronger than I ever knew.
Yeah some of these things are obvious and some are cliched and this is maybe HALF of the things I learned. I am a better person because of this year and everything I went through. I am not perfect and I don't ever want to be perfect. I am happy with who i am and the woman I am growing up to be and I hope some day I am someone that my family and friends can be proud of.
I hope 2012 is another growing year for me because that's sort of what this whole thing is all about - being the best I can be, having the best life possible. I hope it brings great things for those I love.. for everyone. It can but it's all what you put into it. So put everything into 2012, make it your best year ever and do it for you and for everyone you love. Life is short and too short for many so dive into this next year head first and do all the things you want to do and never forget to tell those who you love that you love them.
From the beautiful and brilliant mind of Bailey ;)
Big Love!
Merry Christmas and a very Happy and Healthy New Year Everyone!

Wednesday, December 14

skinny jeans dreams

** Hey Guys! This is my first ever guest post. Would like to quickly thank my new friend Krystle for a)guest posting on my blog and b)inspiring me constantly on my weight loss journey. This is her story, you will be totally inspired!! I approached her to do this for me because of the amazing response to my weight loss blogs. So many people can relate when I am having troubles and so many are right there with me saying "i need to make a change". So thought this would be a great way to push you to start or continue in your journey. She is an amazing example of how hard work DOES pay off. Be sure to check out her blog Skinny Jeans Dreams - I'm addicted to it! Enjoy! xo
Bailey


Successful individuals are those who get up one more time than they fall.
I live by that motto! I’m not perfect and I never will be. Weight loss and soon, weight maintenance, always has been and will continue to be a life long challenge for me. It all started as a child. I started to become overweight very early in life, as early as 5-6 years old. I was the kid at every birthday party who wanted to know when the food was coming out and didn’t leave the table until they put it away. By the time I was in 6th or 7th grade I weighed 200lbs and until this point in my life, never weighed any less. Looking back in my “School Years” book that keeps all my report cards, friends, etc… from each grade, it asks for height and weight. In the fourth grade, at age 10, I weighed 130lbs. By 5th grade I started leaving the space where it asked for my weight blank.
All through middle school and high school it only got worse. By high school I weighed well over 250lbs. Being young, female, and obese, has so many emotional factors that go along with it. When you are out with your thin friends and they want to shop in the mall and you can’t because they don’t have a plus size section. When you meet a guy who will talk to you or hang out with you on the down low but God forbid he be seen with the “Fat Girl” on his arm. When the response to family seeing your school pictures is “Oh you’re so pretty, if you’d just lose weight!” When you wonder why the girl with the small waist and big chest was offered a job over you. When you date a man of African American descent and you are accused of only liking them because “black guys like big girls and white guys don’t pay you any attention.” I could go on and on….being overweight and being a woman are two separate causes for life complications that when compiled into one individual, it leaves for many emotional scars.
So, needless to say, when I gave birth to my daughter in 2010, I knew one thing – she wouldn’t be the overweight kid like I was. End of discussion. But how would I prevent that from happening? Look at me! ….It was time to change ME! If I was going to teach her good habits, I had to lead by example. So in September 2010, I joined Weight Watchers and haven’t looked back since.
I set out to lose 50lbs and planned to go on with my life. Little did I know, my goals were about to change. To date, I have lost 90lbs and have a goal of losing 103lbs. Not only did the number on the scale goal change but I have found a love for fitness and have created new health and fitness goals that compliment my weight loss as well as goals that include helping others to make huge life changes such as the one I have made. Joining Weight Watchers (for what was NOT the 1st time in my life) was the best decision I ever made, aside from having my baby girl of course. I live an entirely different life than I ever have in the past. And to boot, I have a man who loved me at 250, 260, 270lbs and loves me just the same at 163lbs and has always wanted to be seen with ME on his arm.
Although I am close to goal, reaching goal is not the end of my journey. I used to live in fear that when I reached goal, I wasn’t sure what to do afterwards in fear that the weight could so easily pile back on. That was until I read a blog by a good friend of mine (If you’re on Weight Watchers community, her name is Alzabees). She used an analogy that when you renovate a room in your house, you don’t live in fear of using it once it’s done because you are afraid to mess it up and get too relaxed in there. You just start treating that room with more respect than you did in the past. You clean up after yourself and avoid the things that caused the room to need renovating in the first place. The same goes with your body. I have spent over a year renovating my body and I am enjoying all the new changes. When the renovations are complete, I must always treat the new “room” with the love and respect that it deserves. It may take a little more effort on my part, but why would anybody want to mess up something that they put so much hard work, time, energy, and effort into creating?
*Love your body for what it is but love it enough to keep it healthy*

Monday, December 12

getting my kesha on.

okay. i am TOTALLY obsessed with holiday dresses right now. i just sit and pine over all the cute styles that are popping up this month. so many pretty pinks, whites and golds and glimmer and shimmer. i love all the styles with lots of texture and design. and LACE. uhh. the lace! the one thing i really do not do is fur but i DO support glitter - big time! so i thought id share some of my favorites since i cant actually buy them. i need to do something productive with all my dress lust!!

Source: us.asos.com via Kim on Pinterest

Source: asos.com via Amanda on Pinterest


Source: tumblr.com via Brittany on Pinterest




Source: topshop.com via Mazie on Pinterest


Source: wanelo.com via Caroline on Pinterest


okay. i have to stop before i get depressed. but i am just SO excited about all these dresses and all the other gorgeous dresses there are out there. they inspire me to get skinny so i can look fabulous in them when i can afford them some day aha. by the time im skinny and rich they will no longer be in style..but i will look back with a smile in my heart!

okay. i promise my next post will be more interesting than the results of my unproductive hours on pinterest! one of my favorite weight loss bloggers agreed to guest write on my blog and i recieved the email today! so that will be up tomorrow or tuesday so keep an eye out!! shes so amazing!!

big love!! hope everyone who is starting their holiday already really enjoys it!
bail.

Saturday, December 10

Updates from the battlefield

hello lovely readers! i'll be the first to admit i've been a shitty blogger this week, it's been almost a full 7 days since my last post. but as most of you know, life can get in the way of the things you need and/or love to do sometimes. i've been a bit busy and distracted this week but im back for a quick update before i head into work for another long day.

just thought i would update on my december goals from the other day. :) check out my Operation Sexy Bitch for other weight loss updates for the week!

1. Lose 10 Lbs - I've lost one of those pounds. Better than none of those pounds.
2. Finish Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred - Tonight will be Day 9. It's not easy, people.
3. Make it through the Holidays without eating every sweet in site. - I've been blessed and there hasn't been a TON of them around and my mom is helpful with it. I think that madness will start this weekend!
4. Enjoy the company of my friends as much as I can while they are home. - They start dripping in this weeek!
5. Inspire someone to come to the gym with me. Done! I've had two people approach me about it and can't wait til bring them out. A bunch of people have been telling me that I have inspired them to get active or eat better - it makes me feel awesome. Thanks so much to everyone for the awesome encouragement as well!
6. Burn at least 4000 calories every week of December. Last week, done. This week I'm at 3300 so after the Shred today and tomorrow I will be almost there. For the busy week I had im impressed that I will be so close to it! This coming week will be even better!
7. Stress Less. I may have had the craziest week of my life this week - legit. So i have a lot of stress come up but I've dealt with it fairly well and tried to keep focus.
8. Snore more! I definitely tried. This morning I gave up a work out so I could sleep more and I don't regret it at all. It's hard to give your all at a work out when you can barely get out of bed. It's also a very long 9 hour day at work when you had 5 hours of sleep and worked out that morning.
9. Be confident. Surprisingly, I'm doing great on this. Some days I look in the mirror and think "FUCK. Nothing has changed. I'm still a fat piece of shit and I'm always going to be. Then sometimes I look in the mirror and think.. wow, your body looks so awesome in comparison to what it looked like at the start of this year. Sometimes I think I might even like certain parts of my body. I can tell when I do myself up that I walk with my head a little higher and I do feel better because I know I look better. It feels awesome!

I know thats not a very exciting post. As I said, it's been a long week and I'm distracted. Hopefully this week I will get in some better work outs and blog posts for you all! With Christmas coming and me being a psycho Im sure thats possible.

PS. Just wanted to post a little update for those of you who have been working out HARD but don't see the changes on the scale. I work out super hard, cardio and lift weights constantly. I never focus on just cardio and I know for a fact Im building muscle. I know it gets old hearing it but muscle really does weigh more but take up less space than fat so do not get discouraged. I have some pictures from Oct and then one from November and I had only lost like 3lbs between the two pictures but I can really see a different. Thought I would share and if you dont see a difference thats fine but I just want to encourage you guys to never give up even if the scale doesnt move. You're making awesome changes and your bodies will catch up, I promise!.

Oct Nov

Saturday, December 3

sunday funday

I have a love/hate relationship with Sundays. Sometimes they bore me to death and sometimes I wish they would bore me to death. After a week of long days and work outs sometimes its nice to have nothing to do though, no commitments, no need to get out of my pjs, no need to shower.. i love not showering ha.. Tomorrow won't be one of those sundays but hopefully I will get a chance to just sit and be. I love reading blogs, online shopping and just looking at cute internet things so I thought I would give those of you enjoying a lazy sunday some cute things to enjoy, courtesy of my first attempt at pinterest...which I still dont fully get. haha. Enjoy. xo



LOVE it. For instructions on how to make these click here.



hahaha. to read how i feel about this one click here



i learned so much from this just now. inspired me to go scarf shoppoing.

Source: etsy.com via Megan on Pinterest


i will wear these when bruno mars realizes i'm the one for him... just the way i are.



this is so ridiculously true. i think i am a rockstar sometimes when i get intoxicated enough. if i get dressed after im already drinking, i think i am like.. a size 4 and that i am ridiculously sexy. obviously im not and i look CRAZY. i see pictures and im like okay... i was a little off on the sexy assumption.



Source: google.com via Layne on Pinterest


if you havn't seen this video, you need to. SO fucking funny. these guys are adorable.

are you tired of my pinterests yet? cause im not.



oh my god. i need me one of these beasts!! <3 sweet sweet naps cuddled up with this thing..ouh baby. fuck having a boyfriend.. we know im not going to ever get one anyway, might as well commit to this lovely creation!

ok. one more. i leave you with some inspiration for your sunday!


its true. no matter what.. you can apply this to pretty much anything if not everything. i love nike.. they always know what to say!

happy sunday ya'll! don't forget gm'ers to enter my contest (see post below this) to win 20% off an entire purchase at harbour gifts!

oh AND.. check out my operation sexy bitch page for updates!. xoxo

big love. xoxo

Wednesday, November 30

December!

Okay.. in 15 mins (from when I started working on this blog..so technically it probably already is because it literally takes me HOURS to write blogs sometimes) it will be DECEMBER! December is my most FAVORITE month! Those of you who know me decently well are like "wtf, you hate snow, why is december your favorite, you love sun" Well, people, here is the logic. December IS my favorite month, minus the cold weather and snow but summer is totally my favorite season. But cmon, december is the most exciting month ever!!

December means Christmas and I am a Christmas Fairy. December means friends, family, and FOOD. The 3 most awesome F's ever. Not just friends but SO many friends, at home, for an extended period of time. FUCK YEAH. Family showing up outta no where, gettin wild with holiday cheer - love it. And food.. don't even get me started. Christmas food is the best food. And the best Christmas food is Brunch. My Christmas brunch every year is the main even of the season..no the main annual event of my LIFE. I love it with everything I am and it is only 25 days until sweet sweet brunch brushes my lips.

So if you forgot in the last 45 seconds, I love Christmas. I am not going to lie to you, I fucking adore getting free shit for a whole day. It's like birthday x 10 and its CHRISTMAS. Everything just feels good, everyones happy and merry and fatter than like 3 days before because of the abundance of food. And thats what I really love about Christmas - the spirit. I love the presents but I love the spirit. And the spirit makes me BUCK WILD.

I don't get naked or anything but holy shit - the money spending goes ape shit. I have already spent embarrassing amounts of money on Christmas. I try to tell myself "200$ limit, you can do it girl, only mom and 2 friends". yeah.. about 2 minutes into Christmas shopping the "spirit" hits and im all "FUCK THAT SHIT" and off I go. Seriously. Ask anyone. I am going to be so broke after Christmas Im going to have to walk to work.

I don't even care though. I'm not in school yet and I work and thats about it. I live with my fabulously providing parents so I pay no bills or anything besides my cell phone and gas. I pay if my car breaks, which does happen (fucking cavaliers) but other than that my money is sort of there to save or spend or chew up and stuff in a sock. Whatever. I won't always have this money and some day I wont be able to buy even my mother and 2 friends dollar store pencils so I'm going to give myself a merry christmas and buy people whatever i fuckin want to.

So.... now I'm all hyper thinking about Christmas. But let me go back to the main topic.. December - I almost forgot. We are just about to enjoy my most favorite month and it is also the ending to another year. I can hardly believe it. I have done so much this year and changed so much but.. thats for another post on another day.

I have no idea what my new years resolutions were for this year, I really don't. But I do have a few last minute goals Id like to reach so I've set myself up with a December goal list - 9 before the New Year. :) Feel free to share with me if you have any for december.

1. Lose 10 Lbs
I have had a really slow November for losing so it would be nice to have a really great December and get back on track. Wish me luck!
2. Finish Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred
I finished Day 3 today and it is not easy! I can do it but like i said, its a challenge!
3. Make it through the Holidays without eating every sweet in site.
SO much food around! I'm doing 30 days no sweets until Dec.21 and its not easy. I cheat. But the point was to keep myself from eating so many and I have cut back SO much so I consider it a success :)
4. Enjoy the company of my friends as much as I can while they are home.
Since I work instead of go to school I don't get the Christmas break my friends do. I really want to get in as much time as I can with them this holiday though -they mean so much to me!
5. Inspire someone to come to the gym with me.
or inspire someone at all. I love hearing that I inspire someone to get active or eat healthy. It makes me feel so much better and I want everyone else to feel better too!
6. Burn at least 4000 calories every week of December.
Not easy but I can do it. It's going to take some ass kicking.
7. Stress Less
I've been having some work stress lately that I would like to let go of. I need to just take it day by day and enjoy the little things.
8. Snore more!
I can sleep 9 hours these days and be just EXHAUSTED trying to yank myself from bed the next morning. It's hard to work a full day, get in your work out, catch up with my blog/friends online and get a good nights sleep as well. I know I don't have kids or anything but it turns out to be a pretty full day. I need to start making sleep a bigger priority! (its 12:45AM and im blogging.. will start tomorrow night ahaha)
9. Be confident
I want to start loving my body and appreciate all the great things Im doing for it. I'm a long way form goal and I'm a long way form loving my body but its little things - baby steps. I will take pride in the way I look, get fixed up and enjoy my progress thus far!

So wish me luck on my list! Thanks for tuning into my ridiculous blog once again - I really appreciate you amazing readers. This past year you have been outrageously fabulous to me and I can't wait for a new year of blogging with all SIXTY FREAKIN FIVE of my followers. Maybe 75 by Christmas? ;)

Big December Love
Bailey. xoo

Saturday, November 26

what to do when you did nothing.

And by doing nothing I mean I have lost nothing in about three weeks. It's hard to be so public about your weightloss and have to own up to the fact that maybe it doesnt always go the way you want. Let me explain.

I have been awesome. I eat great, I even gave up sweets for 30 days(im going into day 6- SO not easy). I work out regularly and I have a really great attitude most of the time. This week I have really gotten down on myself as the loss has not come close to happening (in fact i gained!) and because of my crumby attitude I didn't work as hard as I could've.

I feel a lot of pressure. I have an insane amount of pressure from myself to lose this weight fast and steadily. I feel pressure, (that is from myself) to keep going to give you all something to be proud of. I don't want to let you down and want to inspire anyone who needs that bit of inspiration to turn their life around (in any way really, not just with weight loss). So I guess when I don't lose, and especially if i gain even a pound, I feel so disappointed and like I'm letting everyone down.

Another horrible part of not losing each week is feeling that dread of "you are going to gain it all back now." I am in control. I know that. But it's scary. I've gained weight back before and it's the worst feeling. I know for sure I never will do that to myself again but I am afraid OTHERS think I'm going to do that. I feel when I don't lose that everyone is like "yeah, psych, she obviously can't do it". I know that no sensible human, esp since most reading this are friends and fam, would think that but it's sort of a weird psychological state I'm in right now. (still waiting on that period ahah damnit, she makes me a psycho. seriously. psychopath.)

So this is how I've been dealing with the lack of loss. I've cried, sulked, cried, grumped, swore, weighed myself obsessively and have basically been seeking out support for kicking a plateaus ass. I think its coming though. I have hope and a mostly positive attitude. Once "aunt flow" graces me with her super late pressence and my body realized I've kicked the sweets I think I will see good things. I'm going to push myself super hard at the gym, start Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and I've adjusted my calorie intake since my loss.

And thats the thing. Loss. I've lost! I've lost 30 lbs...thats like.. a big baby! Thats awesome. I am so much stronger and I have so much more control than I did a year ago, even 2 months ago. I DO have a ton to be proud of and I need to realize that so that I can keep pushing.

People have been so supportive, telling me I inspire them or just telling me I look good.. the little comments mean SO much, you have on idea. Especially at a time like this, as my good friend Bono once beautifully sang, sometimes you can't make it on your own. Or some bologna like that! I couldn't do it without the support I recieve daily from friends and strangers alike.

So, no, I didn't lose any weight this week and I didn't lose a ton in November in gneeral. Im going to in December. And I'm going to keep losing until I'm the sexiest bitch you've ever seen and you wanna lock up your boyfriend (who i wouldnt dream of stealing cause im not that kind girl.. just sayin...) and fight your urges to become bicurious in my honor.

To those of you in my position, fighting a plateau or finding it hard to get started.. just do it. Kick some ass. Eventually your bodies will catch up with your minds and your hard work and so will mine. I have optimism if nothing else, haha.

Big loveee.
Bailey.

Thursday, November 24

Shit I Don't Get Part 4

It's back. I must be a moron because there is a lot of shit I don't get. Or, everyone else is morons for giving me so many incomprehensible situations. You decide.
Status Attacks : I have a lot of issues with the way people act on facebook. I could probably do a whole blog about it. The thing I really am not a fan of is posting shitty things about people, especially over jealousy. We’ve all wanted to do it. I know I have definitely wanted to be like “[insert moron here] is a stupid fucking moron and everytime they come into the store i want to throw the ice cream machine at them”. But I don’t. I have a filter and if I actually got to know people who seem like idiots, I would like them because I tend to like everyone and we are all human. Mostly I think people need to realize that calling someone ugly doesn’t make you any prettier and you writing statuses about them probably doesn’t phase them, in fact it’s only phasing you. You are putting all this extra anger and energy into something that is only taking from you and no one else gives a shit. Just because someone likes it doesn’t make the person you are attacking ugly, fat, stupid, sluttty or whatever it is you think they are. It just proves that you are letting them hurt you even more.
Status Attacks Part 2 : Attacking your stupid bf/gf/husband/wife/ex and his/her new gf/bf/mistress/mistrer? Okay. Listen ladies and gents. If the person you are with cheats on you... or moves on... then you need to move on. If you are stupid enough to stay with them, you need to deal with the fact that it is not a monogamous relationship anymore. Yes, people make mistakes and sometimes they never do it again but mostly they do, don’t fucking kid yourself. You want to know why your significant other is cheating on you? Because you are letting them and they, like everyone else in this world, are totally down with having their cake and eating it too. I love cake. So don’t be getting all pissed and buck wild in your statuses, attacking all the girls your husband is cheating on you with when you clearly know he’s a cheater. He’s a loser, you need to move on and you’re making yourself look pathetic. The only people who are liking your status and commenting are your mothers, your sisters and the other morons who are letting/have let their partners cheat on them incessantly. Make the right decision and move on. Please. For the sake of ALL of our newsfeeds. On the real, have some respect for yourself. If you disrespect yourself enough to let someone treat you that way then why should they treat you any better?
Curse Words : I understand being offended by offensive statements. If I tell you to go fuck yourself, you are certainly allowed to be offended. If I say, You are fucking amazing, then you need to relax. I hate getting shit for cursing. As you may notice if you read my blog regularly, I swear like a pirate and I use whatever words I wish. This is because I don’t believe in a)letting anyone tell me what I can and cannot say and b)giving random made up words power over how they affect me. I use fuck mostly as an adverb like very. Instead of you are very silly, you are fucking silly. That just means you’re silly, maybe even more silly than the average joe. It doesn’t mean anything offensive, in fact, I like silly people. I understand that people use curse words in a negative way A LOT, and I too use them when I’m angry or upset but 85% of the time I’m not using them to be offensive so there is no reason to be offended. If you don’t like it on my facebook or on my blog to the point where it’s a decision whether I stop using them for you to keep me in your life, you may have to delete me and stop reading my blog. That is a sacrifice Iam personally willing to make because Im not going to let a simple little word change my whole life. I just don’t get it.
Why I can’t resist bacon : I can resist many things. I have changed my eating habits SO much in the past few months and I can keep my hands off most things with a bit of effort but I have the hardest time avoiding bacon. What the fuck is it about bacon that is so ridiculously amazing? Whenever it is around it is like my world is just a little bit better. After New Years I’m giving up anything that doesn’t fly or swim permanently..in other words Im giving up cows and pigs ... and bacon. AHH! I know I can do it once I cut all that out completely but right now I do eat those things and if there is bacon sitting there.. I just can’t do it aha. All of a sudden my mom is making bacon frequently and its always at work all hot and fresh and delicious. WTF! Can you guys resist bacon? Cause I seriously can’t. And I literally never cook it. I’ve never cooked it in my life. Actually that is a lie, Courtney and I tried once. I think we almost burnt her house down. We couldn’t even see there was so much smoke. My point is.. I don’t even try to eat it..its just there..taunting me. Life is hard.
Trends: Ever noticed how trends tend to come to Grand Manan about a year after they hit everywhere else? Now..I’m not trying to say that I started any of these trends, that I was the first on the island, or anything like that. All I’m trying to do here is point out that no one ever needed to talk about me behind my back or make fun of me because I dressed different than everyone else, because later (and when it was out of style, thanks)ended up doing it too .
Example 1: tapered jeans. So many people thought they were so ugly when I decided I was going to rock them in like..grade 10 or 11. Eventually everyone wore them and everyone still wears them. I was not the first around here but very few people bought into it at first They aren’t as popular as they were but I certainly was on the right track.
Example 2: colored extensions. I did this when i was like 15. I had like 8 colored extensions. I also had my real hair pink, purple, blue, red, yellow, green, black .. everything. I got a lot of shit for it. People thought and said i was a fucking weirdo, which I was, but hello.. like.. 7 years later.. look at you! All of a sudden every girl and their fucking shi’tzu has a little pink streak in their hair. Everyone gave me crazy fucking looks and now its cute and trendy. Haters gon’ hate.
Example 3: leggings. HOLY. I did this in grade 8. I had black leggings and a white skirt that I loved. When I went to Florida in grade 7 thats what all the girls were wearing and I thought it was the most wonderful idea in history. It took almost a year before this trend caught on and girls still wear it but no one understood what the fuck I was doing. I was doing the best idea at the time bitches.
It doesn’t matter anymore. It doesn’t matter that I was the bomb and that eventually everyone realized it was a good idea, but only when everyone else did it and it seemed okay. It feels good though, deep in my vain soul, that i wasn’t crazy and that these WERE good trends and eventually people realized it..after me. But what feels better is that I did it without anyone’s approval and I did it because I wanted to. I always went with my own stupid teenage style. I was always true to myself and I didn’t need everyone else to be wearing something to feel like I had the right to. I did whatever the fuck I wanted and that’s more than I can say for a lot of the girls I went to high school with.
So that is the end of Part 4 of Shit I Don't Get. I don't get a lot of shit. Mostly I don't get people and the crazy things they do so I'm sure there will be more parts and parts until someone shuts my blog down for being too offensive. Hope you enjoyed, have an awesome weekend and Happy Turkey Day to my American readers.
Big Love.
Bail.

Monday, November 21

go robbb, its your birthday.



I have been seriously dedicated to the show Dancing With The Stars since the 2nd or 3rd episode of this season. Before now I had never been interested but I caught myself by surprise this time around. So every Monday+Tuesday night I putt over to my aunt Debs house for the event of the week - I seriously get excited, its pathetic.

As many of you may know, tonight is the finale! The three finalists are Rob Kardashian, JR Martinez and Ricky Lake. From the start I really love JR Martinez but over the past few weeks I have fallen in love with Rob and will be routing my heart out for him tonight. He has turned into a really awesome dancer and I cannot get enough of how cute he is!



Do you watch Dancing with the Stars? Who is your favorite?

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools

previous blog entries.