Thursday, June 16

Shit I Just Do Not Get


Mullets. Why? Mullets weren't okay when they were in, they certainly aren't okay now. They aren't attractive, they aren't professional, and they aren't statement making..unless the statement you wish to make is "im a total moron with no sense of whats right or wrong in the world". Yes, I personally love saying "business in the front, party in the back", but I always regret it because I really do not, and will never, support mullets. If you are reading this and you have a mullet, dont get angry.. or actually..do get angry. Get so angry that you take it out on your mullet..with a pair of scissors. Then get back to me when all of a sudden you get a date or some friends.

Nickelback. I will fess up and say yes, there may be a song or two that I find slightly catchy when im hammered and feeling patriotic but.. mostly I still find them annoying. Once you have heard one nickelback song, you have pretty much heard them all. If the stupid lyrics about car sex with your underage girlfriend who stills lives with her dad who is now hunting you down arent enough, the vocals are quite enough to make me nauseous on their own, no matter what he's saying.

Airing your dirty laundry on facebook. Facebook was not made for that, facebook was made mostly for keeping in touch with people. You know what, I can understand and am totally guilty of once in a while, maybe shooting out some sappy lyrics while you chuck back a pint of ben and jerrys and display your soul through song on your status. Thats okay. We are all allowed a few passes on that one. But attacking specific people, airing all your crazy shit and calling other people out on theirs? Thats for your own private life. I just do not get it. Maybe it's because I am kind of tame and don't really have drama with anyone, maybe it's because im sane.. i don't know. But when I go on and see a mile long status of scandal posted by a grown woman.. it's just not cool, and it's just asking for negative attention. Some people would say, don't read it or delete them.. I do, I do delete them, but it's still uncool. Sometimes it's just TMI, it's like posting that you're one your period or you just took a fabulous dump... its like, good for you but dont fucking post that.

Belts. I do NOT understand buying belts for 30$. Actually, I don't understand buying a belt for 20$ I realize times are changing, prices go up, everyone wants to be in style, wah wah wah. I love clothes, im a shopaholic, it's an issue. But it's called a deal, it's called a sale. Why would you EVER spend that much money on something to hold your pants up? Here's a tip, buy pants that fit..OR find a belt for a regular price. I bet you can find one that's just as great and you can even go and tell everyone you paid 45$ for it if that's the issue here.

Baby Clothes. Why is a dress made for someone the size of a chicken the same price as a dress made for an adult? Seriously. I was shopping for my niece and nephew because I think baby clothes are so fun...but the outfits were more expensive than my own. WTF?! It just doesnt make sense. You are literally using like.. 1/10 of the fabric, and it takes even shorter amounts of time to make. I really do not get it.

Farmville. What? .. I just don't understand.

Jeggings. WTF? Just buy sweat pants if you want comfort. I swear, it's all good. You want leggings? Buy some leggings, go crazy. You want jeans, easiest thing in the world to find. You want to wear both? Put the goddamn leggings under your jeans, dont crossbreed, cause that shit is crazy. It looks crazy, its flattering to virtually no one and it looks cheap. And if you chose to buy the jeggings..please.. for me, don't wear a short shirt. Its not okay. Same with leggings.. you cant just put on an old abercrombie tshirt and a pair of leggings.. its just wrong...ugh. No. Not okay.

note : i realize i wear some crazy shit. so since i realize it, and im still avoiding this insane lapse in judgement on behalf of the world and not wearing jeggings, it should prove that they are pretty sick. if i havnt gone there, it might mean no one should. cause iv gone a lot of crazy fashion places... i will own up.

Mixing Meats. There are a few exceptions to this one, but I do not understand the need to mix up your meats. Double bacon cheeseburgers? Why? Okay, have two patties but do you really need a whole other type of meat in there too? It tastes funky, its so odd. And oh...my..good...gravy, the double down? Is that what its called? That crazy ass burger that has like..meat for buns...hahah. WHY??? That shit is out of control! Bacon is just looked at as like.. a blanket for other food. Bacon wrapped scallops, bacon in your burgers, bacon in your everything, I even saw bacon wrapped hot dogs in Guatemala. BACON WRAPPED HOTDOGS! WHAT? Hot dogs are crazy enough, but you're seriously gonna wrap em in bacon? Once again, that shit is out of control. Go eat a salad.

So these are just a few of the things I simply do not understand. There are many more, and maybe more to come to the blog. I have been awake for almost 48 hours so I need to get some sleep now but if you enjoyed or didnt, please leave a comment and follow if you are not currently following. Muchas graciasss.

Big Love.

Wednesday, June 8

Transportation Tales.

When I arrived back to Canada last Thursday it wasnt long before I got hit hard with some sort of bug or maybe a reaction to the change in food/environment. My family left for a trip to Manitoba and I laid in bed with only my thoughts, mostly about my trip. After some reflection I realized a lot of the interesting or silly stories I have came from times when I was literally in the act of traveling, attempting to make my way somewhere in countries where I dont speak the language and am not totally used to the culture. This was the inspiration for my first real blog after my return - a collection of transportation tales.

The Copan Cupid

It was a bright sunny day in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. My friend Martha and I had met her friend Arnold who had just flown in. We went to to the bus station so we could catch the next bus to Copan. I had taken my seat, letting Martha and Arnold sit together and catch up. I was scanning every person who walked in in my usual people watching fashion. Naturally I noticed a cute guy come aboard and since I have absolutely no stealth, he noticed me noticing and sat diagonally behind me. After a quick peak back I realized rapidly he wasn’t really my type and turned on my ipod and forgot about him. A few minutes later after I had pulled my headphones out to talk to Martha and Arnold for a second, my peripheral vision caught some frantic waving. I turned around, and the guy I mentioned before was waving me down. He gave me a “sexy” look and started to pat the seat beside him and waving me over to sit with him. I tried not to laugh in his face, and muttered a No, gracias and turned back around. He continued to wave me down but I ignored him. Later in the trip, I never regretted my choice once as for about two hours he was either hocking up spit and releasing it onto the floor of the bus or hanging out the windows kissing, hissing and whistling at women. Moral of the story : try to be a little more sly when checking out the dudes.

Taxi towards Tela

It was a Friday and I had just taken a ferry from Utila, Honduras to La Ceiba where I planned to put on a brave spanish speaking face, not get cheated on a taxi price and find a decent bus to Tela to see a friend I met in Xela. I had gotten as far as finding a taxi but, like every other taxi driver in Ceiba, he ripped off me and the 3 locals that were in the vehicle with me. Either way, there I was driving towards what I hoped was a bus station. We started getting to what looked like a less wealthy area when my taxi driver shouts “that bus will take you to tela”, pointing at a unmarked chicken bus, totally full of people, ready to take off. I looked uneasily at the bus and thought, what the hell. I quickly jumped out of the car, through my backpack at a screaming latin man and made my way through a 100% Honduran bus load and prayed there was an empty seat. I was in luck, I got a seat to myself. Luckily, but a little offensively, I kept my lone seat for quite a while. Apparently I was on a bus of foreign haters because NO ONE would sit with me, people were literally choosing standing over sitting with me once all the seats were full, some with 3 people. Finally someone gave in and sat with me but he did not look pleased about it. I have no idea what the issue was, Im nice and I speak Spanish if spoken to and even though Im white, I could be whiter. I eventually took some gravol that lulled me into a peaceful sleep where I got over it. When I woke up I started to become a little anxious as I had no way of really telling where we were and I had no idea what Tela looked like. Everytime the bus slowed down, which is about every 2 minutes, I would get worried that I was in Tela and that I would just pass it by but then I realized that Tela was probably the last stop, so since there were quite a few people on the bus I was probably okay. Then luckily I met a really nice girl about my age named Jasmine who let me know that Tela was the town right after hers and tried her best to help me understand what she was saying. It is people like Jasmine that make traveling alone a not so scary experience.

A Sweetie in San Pedro Sula

When I first arrived in San Pedro Sula, after a 36 hour tica bus drive, I had a large panic attack. First, I didn’t have any idea what the exchange rate was and I had no cash and I needed to withdraw money before I did anything. Any normal, sensible human would have figured out these things before traveling through a country and into another but oh no, not me. Finally I realized I was going to have to take a taxi to my hostel and he was surely going to tell me my price in Honduran currency, and then in dollars..which he did, hence me figuring out the exchange rate. Once I withdrew money, my taxi driver took me to his taxi...and then left me there. Not for 30 seconds, not for 5 minutes, but for 15 minutes this taxi driver left me in his taxi outside the bus station. I realized that he was rallying up other people going the same way, so that he could not give us a deal, but still charge us all top dollar. After a while in Honduras, I realized this is common, especially in San Pedro Sula. Turns out he couldn’t actually find anyone else so off we went to my hostel. After about 8 minutes of absolute silence, mostly because he could read the pissed off all over my face, he broke it with a stupid comment about my supposed beauty. He followed it up with a charming “are all girls where you are from so beautiful”. I completely ignored him and I guess he believed that was not because he was a total moron but because I couldn’t understand Spanish so he tried in horrible English, and I still ignored him. He kept on keeping on with these comments until we arrived at the hostel where I, oopsies, may have shoved him with my bag when retrieving it from the trunk.

Delicious Distraction

Tamara and I had booked a hustle to take us from Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica to Bocas del Toro, Panama which included getting us across the border. We packed up our stuff and locked it up at the hostel after check out. We checked the clock and decided we definitely had time to walk down to the amazing gelato shop and buy some amazing gelato before we hit the road. When we got back, we had 10 minutes before the shuttle would arrive so we sat down and relaxed. After about 3 minutes the travel agency lady approached us and said, are you waiting for the shuttle? We said yes we were and she got a concerned look on her face. She alerted us that the shuttle had just left and had waited 20 minutes for us. We asked why, because it was still only 10 to 1, to which she replied, no, our clock is wrong. Why, at a hostel/travel agency, where people needed to be on time for things, was the clock wrong? I, for one, will never know. So she called us a taxi, said the shuttle was going to drive slow, and we waited another 15 minutes for a taxi to show up so we could race to find the shuttle. Well the race turned into a 1 hr, 40$ drive to the border into Panama where the shuttle was waiting. The best part of the waiting shuttle were the 2 swiss girls, who I later dubbed the swiss bitches, carrying MONSTER suitcases that no human would ever take on ANY trip, especially not a trip like this. To make the situation even better, they were also in the shuttle on the way back, and they were still bitches.

Tuk Tuk Trouble

I love Tuk Tuks. I seriously considered buying a Tuk Tuk and simply driving it home. Unfortunately, Tuk Tuks only go so fast and aren’t exactly high way ready so it probably would have taken me until December to get back to Canada...and then the engine of my Tuk Tuk totally would have been a goner in the cold. At any rate, I still love Tuk Tuks and WILL one day be the owner of one. With all that being sad, you should probably know what a Tuk Tuk is – its like this little mini 3 wheeled golf cart used mostly in small communities, especially where the road are littler, as taxis for carting people to places they need to be quickly or with lots of luggage. The place in Guatemala where I spent most of my time was drippin with them, I was in Tuk Tuk heaven. The funny thing about Tuk Tuks is.. you think you are taking them to get to a place quicker but in a place like San Pedro where if you go anywhere far you need to go uphill, it almost seems like you should have just walked. The Tuk Tuks aren’t exactly packin sick engines so the act of going up hill in one always made me laugh, sometimes I just wanted to get out a push, which one of my friends actually had to do one time. Another interesting thing about the TukTuks which are in all of the communities around the Lake is that alot of them are totally decked out. Im not talking fuzzy dice in the mirror but they are totally decked out with lots of religious stickers and sometimes lights and the coolest ones have music blasting – it really is an interesting site. Sometimes I would get a little nervous taking the Tuk Tuks because I got a bit of attention every time I walked past the place where the Tuk Tuks and their drivers chillaxed but then I always knew that I could simply jump out of the Tuk Tuk (seriously, they are pretty slow) and run.

Kids in Costa Rica

The first day of traveling with Tamara in Costa Rica involved us taking a bus from the airport town to La Fortuna. When we got on the bus, although we had bought tickets, we realized that some people still stand. We also realized there were no seats. So I put on my brave face and prepared to stand for 4 hours. Before we took off though, I looked over and Tamara was being spoken to by a little boy. Him and his brother had been sitting in two separate seats, and he offered to hold his brother for the drive so that Tamara and I could share a seat. It was absolutely sweet, the boy couldn’t have been over 11 and we really appreciated the gesture. It meant though, that I would be holding Tamara on my knees for the drive and Tamara would have to be enduring my knees on her ass and being smooshed up against the seat ahead of her. We were thankful, but it wasn’t the most comfortable ride. Tamara stood sometimes and we were lucky when the boys got off about half way-2 hours-through the trip and we got to have the other seat and not share one between us. Again, people like those boys make the travel part of traveling so much better.

The Boy in the Boat Taxi in Bocas

While in Bocas Del Toro with Tamara, we randomly ended up deciding to go out for our last night with 3 norwegian guys we met and an interesting local named Daniel. It turned out that to get to the bar, we had to take a boat Taxi which rocked. The ride back in the boat taxi..well it didn’t rock so much but at least it made for a blog story. Around 2:30 the bar closed, and we had to, in the pouring rain randomly enough, find a boat taxi back to the main island so we could go to the hostel. I had met a guy who was a little too nice and was trying very hard to escape him. I jumped into the boat taxi with Tamara and one of our friends and let out a sigh of relief that I had gotten away, he was one step away from turning into a stalker. I guess that step had already been taken because just as we were taking off, our friend told me to turn around..the guy was in the seat directly behind me. Shit. I tried to act like I didn’t notice him but he knew I knew he was there and he started announcing that he would be paying for my 1$ taxi and walking me home. As soon as we hit the dock and I let him pay for my taxi, I practically flew out of the boat onto the deck and started running towards my hostel but no worries, he caught up. After making some inappropriate requests I did eventually get away. He was a little scary..but at least I got a free boat taxi.

Sometimes the traveling was anxiety inducing, dangerous, boring, scary, stressful, long, exhausting and a whole lot of inconvenient. That being said, it was a big part in my trip, giving me so many stories as this blog proves, a blog topic and helping me evolve as a traveler and grow more independent. Almost every situation forced me to use my Spanish, as in every story where I explain dialogue, it was mostly in Spanish.

I have more stories like these but this blog was getting sort of excessive. If you ever have any questions or want to hear more stories from my trip, simply contact me or ask me to write a blog about something in particular. Thanks to everyone who is still reading and stuck through my blog through out my trip, offering me advice and urging me to continue writing. I appreciate you all so much and you are the reason I continue to write.

Big love.

A Tuk Tuk photo treat.

Sunday, June 5

Tz'Utujil

A few posts back I wrote a little about the mayan language in San Pedro. My last night I had my camera and put some guys on the spot to say a little something for the camera. Chances are it translates to something inappropriate or offensive, probably towards me, but still, you get to hear what it sounds like! I actually learned a few words that I am very proud of so when I get home just ask me and I will demonstrate my mad Tz'Utujil skills por ti!

video

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previous blog entries.