Sunday, October 30

Bloggers for Health Week 2 (AND HALLOWEEN!)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Officially! I love Halloween, I think Candy rocks and dressing up is so much fun. I wish Halloween was like.. a quarterly thing, 4 times a year...2 at least. But it’s not so you gotta make the best of it while its here and make the best of it I did. I feel like I got hit by 10 buses last night but it was worth it. Do I have pictures? DO I EVER. I was a jungle kitty, here is a peak of my Halloween celebrations!
I got a lot of really nice comments on my make up which made me happy. I always feel like I look like shit on halloween so it was nice to get some good feedback. I also tend to feel super FAT on Halloween because all of the girls have their cute little costumes and I'm trying to cover myself up enough and look cute but I usually just look fat lol. I felt good last night though and got some comments about my weight loss which always feels really good! Here are some more pics of my friends and I :)
Just thought I would shared those as promised. Hope you all had awesome Halloweens and enjoyed the one night we can look like watever we chose.. so funnn!
So onto this weeks post for Bloggers For Health. For those of you who didn't see the first weeks post or what it is all about, you can read it here, otherwise stay with me! This weeks prompt is to write about my work out plans from the past, present and how it can evolve.
I've always had a love hate relationship with the gym. Well...mostly hate or..forced.. or.. you know what I mean. I've never been thin and never been in shape and am ALWAYS trying to lose weight. Sometimes I get on rolls of going to the gym 4-5 times a week for a while but after about two months it usually ends. At one point when I lost weight in high school i was pretty dedicated for about 6 months but then I got fatter again and gave up.
The gym is full of lots of positives and negatives. The positives are obvious and extremely rewarding and liberating. Losing weight, feeling healthy, being healthy, being strong, being in shape, being able.. they are all amazing things and everyone wants and needs and deserves to experience them all. It takes hard work though, not many people are blessed with amazing bodies, health, strength and confidence without ever stepping foot in the gym or working hard for it. That is where the cons come in, the reasons we really hate the gym.
The cons are toughies. First of all, no one wants to look bad. If you go to the gym because you feel fat, you usually feel even fatter when you are there. Then there is the people. I get lucky, sometimes I can go to the gym 5 days in a row and see 2-3 people in total or none at all. It's brilliant. But then you do see people. You see the girl working it out with her toothpick legs and the girl running for an hour on 7. Then there's the dudes. If you are an overweight girl, or a girl at all at the time, the last thing you want to see is dudes. If you are working hard enough you look like shit, you feel like shit and you might even smell like shit. Not only that but you feel like they are totally analyzing everything you do and the way you look while you do all your exercises. Chances are they are focusing on lifting their weights (so that they can leave them on the floor for you to trip on) but it doesnt matter. Its a god damn racket.
Anyways. I've looked past the cons. I need to be there. I even want to be there sometimes. And if a bunch of dudes are gonna see me sweating my anus off and see all my shit shaking around then so be it and if they say shit, they say shit. I'm the fat chick but I'm the fat chick whos at the gym everyday before you get there and after you leave, working my ass off.
So right now that's my relationship with the gym. I work out on average 6 days of the week. If I'm not at the gym I run/walk outside but I'm usually at the gym. As far as my routine goes I always do some cardio and I always do strength training. Strength training is super important especially if you are trying to lose weight. I do have a specific plan and it goes a little something like this.
Mon,Wed,Fri : I train for my 5K and I don't do any other cardio. I have it all written down so I cant remember exactly what I do for weights but I believe I do Core+Legs these days.
Tues,Thur,Sat : I usually hit up the bike and the stepper if I'm feeling particularly motivated. I then work my arms, shoulders and most days I try to stick in butt exercises because I have the flattest ass ever. My ass is flat, my stomach is fat. someone put some dollars in my plastic surgery hat.
Sometimes I try new cardio or strength exercises but this is a typical week at the gym for me. I mostly just try to improve on the things I do now, especially the treadmill since I'm training for a race. My plans for the future is to just make like Daft Punk and get Harder, Better, Fast Stronger...and a lot thinner! (For updates on my weight loss journey make sure to check out my Operation Skinny Bitch page, updated yesterday! Yay!)
Exercise is amazing. It's insane how much stronger I feel since I started working out regularly about 6 weeks ago. I feel stronger and I can see actual changes in my body and my definition. Obviously I'm not super defined because I still have a lot of weight to lose but any change is great. I feel more confident when I am there and more confident in general. I feel healthy and my body gets unhappy but I do anything to get in the way of that ( like body was not impressed with last nights halloween events).
If you feel like you want to start hitting the gym or taking a walk once in a while or it. Get moving! You will feel so much better and you will start looking more fabulous as well. For more tips and seeing other bloggers work out schedules hit up the Bloggers for Health page (I will link you at the bottom) and see what everyone else is up to. :)
I hope everyone has an amazing week this week. November is upon us, it's time for Christmas music and I am SO excited! Unfortunately the snow has already started to fall in my corner of the world which is MEGA depressing, I hate snow, but it DOES mean christmas is close. :) WAHOO!!!!
Big love. x

Saturday, October 29

tricks and treats.

Okay, I don't have any tricks for you up my sleeve today but that COULD be a future blog! I havn't had many treats lately either, even with the mini halloween snacks all over the place. That in itself is a treat though because I had some really good Non Scale Victories and a pretty awesome scale victory I think! So check out my operation skinny bitch to find out about my week!

I have felt pretty exhausted mentally after writing that lost blog. It took a lot out of me but in a good way. I wasn't really sure how to follow up on my next blog post so I've just kinda stayed away from the blog for a couple of days to let it sink and hopefully as many people as possible could see it. I got a good response from it and I'm thankful.

I would also like to clarify that the person I mentioned in my blog who referred to me as progressive is NOT a homophobe. We just do not see eye to eye on the topic but the person does not hate homosexuals and I just wanted to make a note of that. I love this person very much and they are very attractive and wonderful to me and they also don't look a day over 30.

On that note I need to head to work! After work I will be heading to some halloween parties and i am SO excited to get my drink on. I am being a jungle kitty and I will make sure to post some pictures on here for all my off island readers!

Big Love and Happy Halloween!!
Bail xo

Wednesday, October 26

Anti-Gay Bulling

Pleaase watch this quick video. The message is amazing and everyone needs to hear it. Plus it is what my blog is about so you will be a lot less lost. Thanks. :)

It feels like every other time I sign online there is a news story, facebook post or blog about another teen suicide. Suicide is horrifying and it affects so many people on such an intense level, it is one of those things that is hard for me to wrap my head around and I am having a hard time blogging about it, to be honest.

The most horrifying part of these recent suicides is that SO many of them are happening because of bullying. Most of the bullying is anti gay bulling. Kids are discriminating against other kids because of who they are attracted to/love. The thing that bothers me even more is that, in my very unexpert, young, silly, "progressive" opinion, this behavior is learned. You aren't born hating people for things for things like race, sexuality, gender, religion, hair color etc... you're taught it, you pick it up, monkey see monkey do. You are rarely BORN to be an ignorant prick.

Who is teaching 13 year olds to hate and torture their peers (gay or not) to the point where the child takes their own life? Scary thought. You would think that people would grow out of this sort of immature and ignorant behavior. You would think they could get their facts straight, that most LGBT people are not making a CHOICE, they are born this way, just like anyone is born straight, black, female, etc. It's just the way it is. And even if it IS a choice, it is THEIR choice to make and no one else gets a say or a fucked up opinion on whether its wrong or right. Apparently some people aren't making the connection though and for some stupid reason they are passing on their stupidity to their children who are then helping cause suicide. Fabulous.

In the video Mercer mentions that you don't have to go out and wave around a pride flag. You don't. You don't have to even think about other peoples sexuality. That's the thing. Why does one care enough about another persons sexuality enough to HATE the person for it or have an opinion about it at all? Last week I was having a bit of an argument over this sort of thing with a family member.. she said "Oh well're just so progressive" in a bit of a judgemental, sarcastic, mocky sort of tone (to the person who said this, i love you and my feelings were not hurt in the least and yours shouldnt be either for anonymouslymentioning you). I replied with "No. I'm not. I just don't get the big deal."

I don't. I never have. I never in my whole life have understood why people dislike others because of differences like race and sexuality. I don't think I was raised in a particular way towards these topics so maybe that is why.. it just was never an issue. Maybe this makes me less entitled to give an opinion as I have no idea how it is to be raised to be racist/homophobic/sexist etc...maybe I shouldn't judge people in that way. I probably should though.

I have no idea how to verbally describe the way that homophobia (and a lot of these issues) makes me feel. It makes me crawl from the innermost corners of my gut and my heart and my soul and as I think more and more of it, the feelings of frustration, anger and confusion stretch through my whole body and mind and takes me to a level of anger that nothing else makes me reach. I am not violent.. at all. I have never thrown a punch in my life. But when I hear people making homophobic comments and being generally ignorant I feel like I could tear someone apart with my bare hands.

So, to my homophobic readers (though I am highly doubting I have many): It is two thousand fucking eleven people. It is longer acceptable to be hateful, to bully someone for their sexuality, to be an ignorant fucking moron. Being supportive of gay rights does not make you gay like it did when we were fucking 8 years old. If you want to stick up for someone, STICK UP FOR SOMEONE! I am quite fond of males.. I actually really like boys.. a lot. They are fabulous. But if you want to call me a lesbian because I am so passionate about gay rights then, bueno, I'm a lesbian. I could care less what you think as long as you understand that your homophobia is WRONG.

God is not telling you to be homophobic either. I know a lot of amazing followers of Christ who are not homophobic in the least. If we followed everything in the bible like we were suppose to in like 2097427 BC to we'd be throwing stones at people and if there is any justice we would have hanged your ass. In Leviticus, the same book that contains a lot of text about homosexuality being an abomination, it also mentions that men should not be having any sort of physical contact (not sharing the couch/bed/car for example) with women while they are menstruating. Don't you think that's a bit outdated? Not just outdated, but a little over the top. It states that menstruation is basically disgusting. 1 Corinthians 11 states that men with long hair is wrong. What? Come again?

You see.. not everything in the bible can be taken literally anymore in my opinion. We have adapted the lessons in the bible to fit our society, which happens to have a lot of amazing homosexuals in it! The bible was written QUITE a while ago in case you were wondering. I'm tired of people using religion as an excuse for their hate. (If I have made any flubs on the bible references please give a message. I did my research but google is not always trustable and I'm no bible expert. I would also like to reiterate that I know a lot of amazing Christians, I love a lot of amazing Christians and am inspired daily by them. I in no way have any hate for anyone of any religion, but to be honest I think a LOT of homosexual hate stems from biblical texts. Please message me if you feel offended by anything I said!!)

The point I'm trying to make here through all this ranting, raving and getting crazy and fired up, is that it is unacceptable for this sort of hate to be going on, especially in our schools. 300 children are committing suicide in canada every year, THREE HUNDRED. Whether they are being bullied because of their sexuality or they are just being bullied or they are depressed.. something needs to be done. It is totally unacceptable.

I want everyone reading this to try and do something if you feel touched or obliged or have any sort of compassionate bone in your body. If you are homophobic and you want to do nothing I want you to do absolutely nothing - in fact, I don't even want you to speak. I want you tp keep your mouth fucking shut and keep your (wrong)opinions to yourself because no one wants to hear what you have to say about it anymore.

I'm personally going to take a few steps to do what I can. First of all, I wrote this blog and just released a lot of insanity from my soul (this post has been a LONG time coming). Second, I'm going to work harder to stop using gay as a synonym for stupid. I try but it was a habit picked up when I was about 8 and I didn't understand how offensive it was. I am trying everyday. Third, I'm going to start standing up for people in public when I hear any sort of joke.. or at least taking some names and letting off some steam. I have let things slide so many times being a little pansy ass bitch but I need to practice what I preach.

Please make some sort of pledge to work towards an end to this because it's long overdue. What will you do to make a change? How will you stand up? Because like Mercer said, it is time for us all to step up.

Big, major, love.
Bail. x

Tuesday, October 25

5 Things I'm Loving

I am currently loving...

1. JR Martinez of Dancing with the stars
2. Peach Iced Tea. Mmmmmm.
3. Inspirational Pictures/Quotes
4. Shake Senora-Pitbill5.Outrageously Fun+Sexy Skirts

what are YOU loving?
big love. x

Saturday, October 22


Well it’s been a busy few days, so busy that I haven’t really had time to write. I must admit, it’s been a while since I was particularly busy. I’m usually trying to wait between blogs so people can actually read one before I strike again 12 hours later. This week has been good though and the next few weeks will be as well. I’m getting full time at work, working out 5-6 days a week, trying to attend volleyball when I can and also pet/house sitting whenever I am asked. This is great but I miss writing even after a few days so I am glad to have the weekend off to write a little somethin’-somethin’.
I wanted to write more about fitness/weight loss this week. I know some of you may be getting tired of it as not everyone cares about my personal journey and not everyone can relate to it but.. this is my blog and right now, this whole weight loss/fitness thing is my life and thanks so much to the (many!) people who have been supporting me through my blog and in my real life, haha.
This past week has been really good. Like I said, I’ve been busy, and I did take two gym days off but I’ve been working hard. I can’t believe how much stronger I’ve become and how much further I’ve been able to push myself (BTW – check out my Operation Sexy Bitch page to see my NSV’s for the past week and my weight loss for the week!! Yay!). The weight has started to come off more rapidly and I’ve never been so motivated. I think living home right now is best for this and in that respect I’m sort of glad to be living on Grand Manan. I need to focus on this and not having friends and parties and all that distraction is helping me to reach my goals. (I do need some friends and a glass of wine this weekend though, man am I lonely!)
As I briefly mentioned in my NSVS on my Osb page, I have been getting some really nice compliments. I’m going on my sixth week at the gym and I am starting to notice some little changes and it’s really cool to have people asking me if I’ve lost weight – it really is an amazing feeling. (Ps.Its also amazing when random people approach me in public about my blog with positive feedback, really loving that!). Some people want to know what I’m doing and although I havn’t lost a huge amount of weight yet, I am making progress and I thought Id make a short list of tips for someone feeling like they may need a change.
First of all, this list is great for someone just starting out. I’m talking, still deciding if you are ready to actually take the plunge, havn’t exercised in a long time, eat a bag of chips every night at 1am kind of beginner. I’m not expert and I still have a long way to go so don’t think that any of this is will 100% for certain work for you but I feel confident that they are great tips for a great start to a new healthy lifestyle.
I would also like to mention that this list is part of a new group of writers I’ve joined. This group is called Bloggers For Health and since I am indeed a Blogger who is all for health, I thought I could partake and have a bit of decent input. So this week the topic ended up being 5 Ways To Live Healthier which sort of went with the topic I wanted to include in my blog. Fate? I think so! This project is geared towards Healthy living in general, not for those trying to lose weight. I can't stress enough how important living healthy is for everyone, even when I get to my goal weight living healthy will still be important. I won't start avoiding the gym and eating unhealthy again. So this is for all you skinny bitches out there too (I mean that term in the most loving and envious way possible, I promise).
So! Here is my list :)
1.)Choose. Turning your life around, whether its your eating habits, exercise habits, drinking habits, smoking habits, etc.. it's all about a choice. I truly believe you will not succeed unless you make a 100% commitment to yourself. You have to believe that you can and will do it because it doesn't matter how much your best friend believes, at the end of the day it's you calling the shots.
2.) Water. Always alway always. Water is so essential to weight loss and living healthy, you need water to live and cutting out all the shitty drinks you are sippin' on won't hurt you either. AT LEAST 8 cups a day and that's not even a hard task. I don't wanna hear SHIT about you not liking water, it barely has a taste and you will learn to like it.. so shut your mouth, plug your picky nose and drink some water. Trust me.
3.) Take a walk. You don't have to run a marathon, you don't have to hit the gym for 90 minutes and lift weights and move muscles you havn't moved in years. Just start simple, take your dog for a walk, walk to the store to pick up whatever you might need, walk to the mail.. something simple. If you walk 30 minutes everyday for one week it would surprise you how much you start to enjoy it and how easy and simple it is and how much more energetic you feel. Seriously. If you don't believe me then be my guest, do it anyway and prove me wrong. I still win.
4.) Stop smoking. Seriously, it is 2011 and we are smart and we know not to fucking smoke. CMON PEOPLE. Even my father is trying to quit, he has gone from a pack a day to 3 packs a week and I am so glad and proud of him. So because of him i do realize that this can be easier said than done but honestly, smoking is so horrible for you and you need to quit if you smoke. If you are going to smoke then how dedicated are you really to your health? Smoking kills more people every year than drugs, car accidents, AIDS, homicide and suicide combined.. COMBINED. that is so wild and out of control and knowing those facts.. you would think less people would smoke. but anyways. like i said, the fact that i want everyone to quit smoking means nothing, its another choice that is totally up to the smoker.
5.) Make slow changes. It is hard to turn your life upside down and change your diet to something completely unfamiliar. I think when it comes to changing your diet you need to go slow and make sure you are making the right choices. Start by switching your milk to skim, eating whole grains instead of unhealthy white bread/noodles etc, incorporate more fruits and veggies into your diet. Once you get comfortable start trying new, healthy foods you had never tried. I recently tried Spaghetti Squash as an alternative to noodles and will be trying Lentils some day soon. I started buying ground turkey and cooking them in bbq sauce instead of eating ground beef. If I'm craving red meat i have pork chops, never steak. Make baby changes and healthy choices so that eventually you are eating lots of yummy and healthy foods.
I know that at some points in my life these tips would have gone in one ear and out the other for me. You have to sort of being in the right frame of mind to really consider and apply these things to your life and if you don't want to make changes, it's all bullshit to you. And thats okay, if you aren't where I am then you aren't. But for those of you who are ready and starting, have already started or have been living healthy for years.. I salute you. It's not easy, theres a lot of temptation and sometimes it's super easy to make unhealthy choices but once you do it feels great.
I've never felt so strong and unstoppable. I feel anxious because I just want to keep working hard and I want it to all happen quickly but I know that its going to take a while. The point is that im dedicate and I keep working hard and I just hope you guys will keep encouraging me and helping me. Although it is all up to me to do the work, all the comments and compliments and advice and suggestions that I get help so much to motivate me. Thanks again.
Don't forget to click the little button up at the top and to the right that say Join This Site to join me as a offical follower. It means the world.
Hope you all are having a fabulous weekend and that you are ready for the week ahead. Here's to healthy choices this week. :)
Big Love.

Monday, October 17

gooood news.

Hey Party People! No particular topic today but I have a few small pieces of exciting news and who dislikes like good news? No one. Someone might say they do but they’re just complicated liars. Let’s get down to business!
  • 1.) If you’ve read my “Operation Sexy Bitch” page at all over the weekend you will know that I lost 2 lbs last week. Rah rah rahhh!

  • 2.) I am a huge supporter of the Invisible Children Organization. If you are unfamiliar with Invisible Children make sure you visit here and see all the amazing work they’ve done and possibly merch it up. "Invisible Children uses film, creativity and social action to end the use of child soldiers in Joseph Kony's rebel war and restore LRA-affected communities in central Africa to peace and prosperity." The amazing work this group of people has done its barely describable and so massive it is just so insanely inspiring. Finally just a few days ago President Obama agreed to send in troops to Uganda to help fight the LRA and get Joseph Kony outta thurrr. Amazing news!!

  • 4.My friend Robyn over at Robyn Guptill Photography has agreed to do a little mini shoot in my dress if I reach my goal so that will be SO fun and it will be cool to have after pics looking even snazzier rather than on my like 30$ camera on self timer ahaha. Thanks so much to Robyn – everyone check out her photos (click the previous link, silly gooses!)
  • 5.) Only 32 days until I go to Fredericton for my beautiful friend Natty Cattys birthday! So many of my awesome amazing close girl friends will be there and we will all be partying and dancing and loving life – its nats 19th so thats so much fun!! FINALLY NAT...GO NINETEEN, GO NINETEEEN, GO GO GO NINETEEN! I am soo excited. Would love to lose 11 lbs by then but would be happy with 6, we shall see!
  • 6.) I’ve mostly agreed to run my first 5k with my amazing, ever inspiring and motivating sister i law Robin this spring. I never know where I am going to be and I have no details but I am trying to commit to some sort of running of 5 kilometres for sometime in the spring .I’m hopig more of a late May Spring ahah but we shall see. Also hope to be able to do the rotary 10k in the summer with her (which means the family finally has to come to Grand Manan!!!). No idea what Im getting myself into!
  • 7.) I already dropped my high school courses I was taking. And it feels great. I’m stupid..and that’s okay.
  • 8.) I have 36 followers, wahooOo! Aha. Of course, I am one of them ahahah but 35 is not bad, not bad at all. Would love to get 50 by Christmas, hint hint to those of you not following ;)
  • 9.) I’m running out of good news, which is good news for you!!
Thanks so much for checking out my latest post and I will try to come up with something a little more original for ya’ll soon! Thanks for all the support I’ve been getting with the blog and my weight loss journey and all that jazz. I get messages from people here, there and everywhere, some I know well, some I will never know at all, and it is wild and crazy and I love it! Keep the comments coming and go to “Join This Site” to the right (under My favorite people, if you cant see the link simply refresh) to officially follow my blog and give me something else to be excited about!
Big Love.
President Obama Targets the LRA from INVISIBLE CHILDREN on Vimeo.

Saturday, October 15

im quirky.

HERROW! Before I get into the main topic of tonights blog I just would like to point out a few things.
  1. If you are reading this and you are not a follower, you need to be. It is seriously not that hard. Do it. Now. But come back and read this. Wuv you.
  2. I constantly update my other pages so check em out if you at all interested in a)finding a good book to read or b)interested in my weight loss journey.
  3. On my operation sexy bitch page I will be updating each week on NSV’s(non scale victories) and also the scale victory for the week so check that shit out if you are looking for inspiration or are just wondering when the hell im gonna stop being so darn fat and out of shape.
Okay! So onto tonights topic. I recently was reading a blogworld friends post about being honest and real with her readers about her failures and downfalls as she had read a blog from a friend of hers about it. Basically what she was getting at is that it’s easy to lose followers if you act like your life is perfect because that is so far from relatable its not even least thats what I got from it.
She is totally right. And I think that most of you will agree that I keep it pretty honest with my blog and my main subject of criticism is usually myself..or crocs or something. I tend to talk about my daily struggles or things that bother me because life is fucking crazy. Life is wild. Life is unpredictable and never the way you think it should be and thats okay! The imperfections bring the craziness and adventures and fun unexpected things and I’m okay with that and I will continue to write about it.
That being said I hope that I’m not too negative for ya’ll..its just my sense of humor and I’m not trying to depress you. I’m sort of in limbo with my life right now, not moving forward, not moving backward and not having much fun. When my life is some day more average, more settled down, more figured out.. then maybe my blog will become more about how great it is or something a little less dark. But for now, this is what it is and I like to think you guys like it because you can relate to it. Let me know what you think!
So on the previous note of being honest and having imperfections and all that jazz I’ve compiled an interesting little list of my quirks. I hope that you guys will comment and give me some of yours and we can take a bath in and soak up all of our imperfections as they make as exactly who we are. .. which is awesome.. well.. I know that IM awesome anyway. ;)
  • I say “like” like ALL the time.
  • I am totally addicted to food.
  • I am a recovering nail biter but i relapse when i get really upset.
  • I touch my face when i feel nervous, insecure, guilty or embarrassed.
  • I’m a horrible google earther.
  • Google earth makes me motion sick
  • Everything makes me motion sick. Even my own driving.
  • I have a really hard time paying anything.
  • I’m horrible at cooking but still want to learn.
  • It really bothers me when people can’t spell my name, especially if I’ve known them my whole life.
  • My time of the month turns me into an actual monster.
  • Ice cream randomly gives me horrendous shits.
  • I am way too candid about feces..especially my own.
  • I stutter and stammer especially when I’m tired.
  • I hate being told what to do especially by people I don’t care for.
  • Crocs make me really uncomfortable.
  • I never want to have female children. (Sorry to my future daughter(s) who may read this.
  • I can fit my fist in my mouth.
  • I drive too fast. All the time.
  • I could actually go on about my quirks for like 30 more minutes. I talk forever.
  • I rarely pose normal for pictures.
  • See what I mean? At least my friends are disabled with me.
Okay. Thats enough. I actually could go on and on and on but no one wants to hear all that!
What are your quirks? (Besides continually reading my blog and not following.. ;))

Big Love.

Thursday, October 13

Shit I Don't Get Part 2

High Beams
The typical Grand Mananer learns to drive at the age of 16. So you would think that those on the road after dark, who a great percentage of are probably adults, would know how to properly use their high beams. It doesn’t quite seem that way the past few weeks as I drive home from work. I try my best every time I drive at night to keep my high beams off when behind or approaching a vehicle – common sense and common courtesy! The funny thing is that my car is such a piece of shit that you would barely even notice the difference between when I turn them on or off but I still do it. I find SO many people are super inconsiderate and leave their high beams on whenever they fucking feel like it. It would be okay but it’s like the people with the newest, most up to date, top of the line vehicles are the ones leaving their high beams on and it’s like fucking navigation lights to see miles and miles away. I am BLINDED, it’s seriously dangerous.
Chunky Highlights
You may call them streaks, I don’t care what you call em as long as you don’t decorate your hair with them. This is not 2001 people and you do not need to style your hair with 3 inch wide chunks of blonde streaks. Try something a little more natural. I’m not saying this will get you a boyfriend but.. you will be a lot closer than you were with this god awful chunky highlights. This goes for the dudes too – frosted tips? Seriously? What the fuck.
Tanning Beds
You know, I get tanning beds. I get wanting to be tan, for most people it’s simply more attractive and laying in a hot bed feels fucking awesome.. tanning rocks. But actually.. it doesn’t. It kills. Like.. literally..proven..kills. The thing I REALLY don’t get is parents who love their children, specifically teenage girls, yet let them tan in tanning beds. Girls in their teens and twenties are 75% more likely ot get skin cancer... SEVENTY FIVE FUCKING PERCENT!!! That’s insane.. and it is so easily avoided. If you are going to let your kids go tan in the tanning bed and you think that their vanity is actually worth skin cancer then be my guest. But make sure you pass them a pack a day before school each morning and feed them only processed foods so they can get lung cancer and other fun diseases to go along with their skin cancer. And if they don’t get skin cancer, they’ll look really fabulous with wrinkles at 26. Good work! (and if I get get skin cancer, at least I will know I tried.)
Tanning Salons at Gyms
What the fuck? It’s like sending the message that Tanning is the same sort of group as working out, like it’s a healthy activity. While I understand that you work out to look good and you tan to look good, you also should be working out to feel good and be healthy. I just think it’s sending the wrong idea. You should treat your skin with as much respect as you treat your body with exercise. Exercise=Healthy, Tanning Beds=dead...cause you died..cause you got cancer. Not fun.
I don’t like fur on anything. It’s not like an animal rights thing (though I am supportive of animal rights), it could be fake fur, I just don’t get it. Like.. clothes are clothes..fur is fur. We are humans. We don’t have fur. But we do wear clothes... not fur. Hahah. Okay..I’m rambling but I just don’t get it and I don’t think it’s attractive at all. There may be one out of every 50 fur items that I can tolerate but..its rare.
Mannerless Adults
bbbYou know, with all the shit I hear from adults about kids not being gracious and having no manners or respect you would think that adults WOULD be gracious and have manners and respect. But after working for a year in a restaurant setting, I actually find the ratio of polite kids to polite adults to be a bit worrisome.. at least for the adults. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard grown adults complain about how none of the kids have manners, they aren’t thankful for anything but if I counted every adult who comes in, complains about stupid fucking shit, is rude to everyone, and doesn’t say please or thank you, you may be astounded. Most of the kids say please and thank you and for the most part have friendly dispositions (theres always gonna be an asshole or two). Some adults come in, grumble, throw their money at me, don’t say thank you, complain about the food and walk out leaving their rude stench in the air. Makes for a really great day! That being sad, for the most part, I have amazing customers who make me laugh and smile and happy to be working where I work every day. To those of you who have manners, you make my days SO much better, thank you, I appreciate you!
Okay. Not as many things I don't get this time around but there is always a chance for part 3. Thank you for putting up with my ridiculous rants.. yes.. I am ridiculous.

Big Love.
Bail. x

Friday, October 7

A Goodbye Letter.

Today I was separated from one of the main characters in my life. As far as I can look back in my friendships, she’s there; my first real friend. She is in so many of my memories you would think she was my sister. The longest I’ve been apart from her is 5 months, and when we reunited there were tears and I knew in that moment that she would be a part of my heart forever.

Growing up on Grand Manan and forming the friendships we do is different than a lot of places in this world. We meet many of our friends before we ever enter school and we spend most of our childhood and adolescents with them, whether we like it or not. We know the ins and outs of these people, we notice things about them they don’t know about themselves all without permission. It just sort of happens living in such a small community.
Although sometimes you don’t get a broad selection of people to choose as friends, I have found that my friends I made living on Grand Manan are unlike any other friends. They know me so well and I am so thankful for them. Although we are now at an age where some leave for school or move away, I see many of my friends from home on a weekly basis and even the ones who are furthest away I see one or two times a year.I’m about to be separated for a year or more from one and it’s only hitting me now how much of an impact it may have.

Although I cannot even verbally describe how excited I am for her, I can’t help but mourn my own loss. No one can laugh at the stupid shit that I laugh at like she can. No one else sat with me watching jersey shore or greys anatomy or any other stupid show faithfully like she did all last winter. No one else played “lovely ladies” with me endlessly in elementary school, got me stuck in a muddy pond or does impressions of people i dislike like she can.
I know that I will miss her all the time. I will miss her stopping into my work for lunch and brightening up my day. I will miss storage war marathons. I will miss sleepovers. I will miss laughing at peoples stupidity and being ignorantly blind to our own. I will constantly feel a void, after all, she is one of the last friends I have on the island that aren’t gone off to school. I will survive – I do have a lot of other amazing friends – but she will be missed, clearly.
So, Diana, as you take off on your adventure I just wanted to give you a goodbye letter on my blog. A whole blog dedicated to you, you spoiled bitch. ;) This will be the start to so many amazing changes for you and we are all sitting here admiring your courage and envying Australians because they are about to have things shaken up a bit. I hope they are ready for a girl who is as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside with a sense of humor like no one else. They are about to have the asses charmed right off of them and their lives will never be the same, just like mine will never be after having you be a part of mine. I love you, Im proud of you and I will miss you more than you know.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off your bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Sunday, October 2

fifty, fifty, fifty!!

It's my FIFTIETH post! Wahoo! I have been trying to think of something I could do involving 50 for my fiftieth post for a few days. I probably wouldn't have ever noticed it was my 50th if I hadn't been updating my design and randomly saw somewhere that i had 48 posts (i have blogged once since then). I'm excited I found it though because it got me thinking...

I know that's a scary thought, wouldn't want my head to catch on fire. But I was just thinking about when I started the blog and my vision for it at the time and how it's changed so much and evolved and how much i truly love having this blog. No matter how many people chose or chose not to read it it's such an awesome therapy for me and i truly love writing.

A shoutout to those of you who have been here since my first post (which is mostly my mother and best friend) and to those of you who jumped on the train in the last year or so. I appreciate you all and you've seen me through a lot. Through my low low lows, to my travel experiences, weight loss, rants and everything in between. Thanks for sticking around :)

So in honor of my fiftieth post and to help celebrate some of the people who have inspired it or read it and gave me the motivation to keep writing, i've created a list! This list is 50 people who at some point or another inspired me to write, motivated me, gave me an idea for a blog, commented on it.. anything! Some of the people might be considered a bit random but you all played a part in this blog somewhere! If you have no idea why you would ever be mentioned and you are curious, make sure to ask me. If you didn't make the list and expected to (which is highly unlikely because not that many people read this blog lol, I'm sorry - it wasn't meant to be offensive. !

Tamara Ritchie
Joan Small
Maddy B. Rice
Robin Small
Crystal Ren
Adam Sandler
Jessica Churchill
Kristi Kasper
Tara of Born This Weigh
Lindsay Frost
Carly Maicher
Rachel Dexter
Jason Guptill
Sarah Quayyum
Courtney Guptill
Diana Green
Heather Brown
Will B. Rice
Hayley Bustos
Gina Berger
Mark Navarro
Nevan Urquhart
Kim Rayner
Debbie Dexter
Cassie Brown
Sheri Horsman
Cassidy Ingersoll
Courtney Hayes
Samantha Bachrach
Kids at the Orphanage in Xela
Maria Mush
Rosario The pan Lady
Georgia's Trying Something NewLinkKate Dillon
Darsi Brown

Okay I only got to 34. hahaha. I suck. Technically it would be over 50 if you include every individual child at the orphanage who inspired me so basically I finished the list. I know there are probably more people to be mentioned but its after midnight, I went out last nigh and got up this morning 4 hrs later to babysit and.. things arent all right in my head at the moment. haha. So again, thanks so much for those who are here reading at my 50th post. I hope you, and more, are still around at my 100th , 150th, etc :)

big BIG 50th post love. xo

Saturday, October 1


I actually am surprised at myself that it's been a week since my last post because I was on quite the posting tyrade for about a week there. The thing is, my laptop broke for the umpteenth time so I've been using my mothers laptop that great great grand father t rex passed down so I havn't really been able to do anything too complex online like update my blog or work on my course (well darn!).

But here I am! I'm babysitting and the baby that needs sitting is asleep so I thought I'd take a second-after I cleaned up like a responsible babysitter(and took a 2)-to write a little posty poo. Oh, but Bailey, you have a job, why would you be babysitting? Well folks, I do love kids and he's the sweetest little thing! But yes, I do have a job and yes again, babysitting is 2x the work for half the money. But at this point, I will take half the money. I'm still getting shit all for hours at work, no idea what I did to deserve that one yet, and I am desperately trying to save so i can get off this island eventually. I took hours at the marathon, joy of joys, and am currently pulling some 11hr day babysitting gigs. Super fun times. For those of you who need house or pet sitting, I am also still offering that service so give me a jingle if you pity my desperation!

Other than job hopping like I have an attention disorder I have been doing nothing but sleeping and working out. This is probably a good thing but it's taking a rotten toll on my emotions. I miss my friends and my life isn't super enjoyable. On the plus side I can feel myself getting stronger every time I go to the gym and it makes me much more enthusiastic about returning the next day. Because of my crazy babysitting shifts I have to take a few days off from the gym but the little guy is keeping me decently active. I'm not seeing much movement on the scale but I'm eating ridiculously healthy and expect something sometime soon.

My goal this month (yay its october today!) is to lose 10lbs. I use a fitness/health website called My Fitness Pal and I have joined up with some other users and we are challenging ourselves to lose 10 in October. Pretty sure I can do it but since the scale hasn't been moving super quickly I'm going to be working my ass off. For those of you curious about My Fitness Pal - it's a really amazing tool I would recommend to anyone who is looking to lose some weight or even get some tips on healthier living and working out. You can record your weightloss and even your inches, you can record your food each day and they count the calories for you and you can also enter your exercise each day and it will let you know how many you burned. It has some really amazing tools and also some really amazing users. It's great to make friends who are on the same ourney and you are sure to find someone who's situation is just like yours. It's great if you need a little encouragement. I have lots of friends on there, even about 10 who I know in real life so I promise you would not be alone in it. If you feel like joining let me know and we can be friends :)

I don't have anything too exciting to write just yet but keep your eye out for new additions to my blog. So far you may have noticed I added some new pages. The find me page is simply all my links for twitter and such things incase you love me so much you want to see even more of my life (highly doubtful, its all laid on here anyway). The bookworm page is books I've read, some mini reviews and books I plan to read. I'm recording them because part of my 30 before 30 list is to read 150 books - this list will eventually be added to my blog as well once its more complete. The about me page is pretty self explanitory and the operation sexy bitch page is just a little page I've started working on that is solely dedicated to my weight loss journey.

Thanks to all my readers for checking out the blog. I've even had some readers who aren't my mother and who don't even live in Canada lately and it's really exciting for me. I like to know people everywhere can relate or enjoy my blog. But please, I beg of you, follow me if you read! If you don't have a google or twitter account you can follow me with it just takes a second to sign up and then you're done forever lol. I would REALLY love to get to 50 followers by Christmas :)

I hope all is well in all your lovely lives! And if you have any odd jobs to be fulfilled for large..actually even small sums of money, I'm your girl ;)

xo. big love

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previous blog entries.