Saturday, November 26

what to do when you did nothing.

And by doing nothing I mean I have lost nothing in about three weeks. It's hard to be so public about your weightloss and have to own up to the fact that maybe it doesnt always go the way you want. Let me explain.

I have been awesome. I eat great, I even gave up sweets for 30 days(im going into day 6- SO not easy). I work out regularly and I have a really great attitude most of the time. This week I have really gotten down on myself as the loss has not come close to happening (in fact i gained!) and because of my crumby attitude I didn't work as hard as I could've.

I feel a lot of pressure. I have an insane amount of pressure from myself to lose this weight fast and steadily. I feel pressure, (that is from myself) to keep going to give you all something to be proud of. I don't want to let you down and want to inspire anyone who needs that bit of inspiration to turn their life around (in any way really, not just with weight loss). So I guess when I don't lose, and especially if i gain even a pound, I feel so disappointed and like I'm letting everyone down.

Another horrible part of not losing each week is feeling that dread of "you are going to gain it all back now." I am in control. I know that. But it's scary. I've gained weight back before and it's the worst feeling. I know for sure I never will do that to myself again but I am afraid OTHERS think I'm going to do that. I feel when I don't lose that everyone is like "yeah, psych, she obviously can't do it". I know that no sensible human, esp since most reading this are friends and fam, would think that but it's sort of a weird psychological state I'm in right now. (still waiting on that period ahah damnit, she makes me a psycho. seriously. psychopath.)

So this is how I've been dealing with the lack of loss. I've cried, sulked, cried, grumped, swore, weighed myself obsessively and have basically been seeking out support for kicking a plateaus ass. I think its coming though. I have hope and a mostly positive attitude. Once "aunt flow" graces me with her super late pressence and my body realized I've kicked the sweets I think I will see good things. I'm going to push myself super hard at the gym, start Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and I've adjusted my calorie intake since my loss.

And thats the thing. Loss. I've lost! I've lost 30 lbs...thats like.. a big baby! Thats awesome. I am so much stronger and I have so much more control than I did a year ago, even 2 months ago. I DO have a ton to be proud of and I need to realize that so that I can keep pushing.

People have been so supportive, telling me I inspire them or just telling me I look good.. the little comments mean SO much, you have on idea. Especially at a time like this, as my good friend Bono once beautifully sang, sometimes you can't make it on your own. Or some bologna like that! I couldn't do it without the support I recieve daily from friends and strangers alike.

So, no, I didn't lose any weight this week and I didn't lose a ton in November in gneeral. Im going to in December. And I'm going to keep losing until I'm the sexiest bitch you've ever seen and you wanna lock up your boyfriend (who i wouldnt dream of stealing cause im not that kind girl.. just sayin...) and fight your urges to become bicurious in my honor.

To those of you in my position, fighting a plateau or finding it hard to get started.. just do it. Kick some ass. Eventually your bodies will catch up with your minds and your hard work and so will mine. I have optimism if nothing else, haha.

Big loveee.
Bailey.

10 comments:

  1. You're Beautiful.

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  2. This is probably one of my favorite posts so far, and it came at a really good time for me. I have been working pretty hard (although I could be working much harder) to loose the load of weight I gained when I moved to Denmark the first time. I come in at or under calories 90% of the time, and have been running hard. I feel better and my clothes fit better. Then I finally weighed myself and the number sent me into a mini mental breakdown. To have only lost 5 pounds after all of that. It made me almost sick. So I am finally over my meltdown and am now going to push harder and change up my workout routines. It is funny you mentioned adding Jillian Michaels dvd to your new routine, I was going to suggest doing her Ripped in 30 DVD because it really helped me out the first time. Anyway, the point of this giant comment is, I think we are way more alike than we know, and I am super thankful you posted this when you did because I am officially inspired to kick my own ass. Hope you get through your plateau soon. They are inevitable and totally cureable. Allow yourself to get discourage for a very short time, and then carry on. That's all we can do.

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  3. oh, Bailey! You are one gorgeous lady, and never, NEVER fear letting us down, even as we battle some of the same struggles...it's about YOU! But I am sure you are already kicking yourself, the important thing is YOU have the tenacity to keep going...despite what any of us have to say. Christmas season is one of the hardest times to beat these urges, but if you start looking at it from the other side...what did you accomplish in November? did you improve some eating habits even for a few days? Did you get to the gym/walk more than you did in October? Did you succeed in staying away from the treats for 6 days?? Than you did indeed have a successful month, even if the scales or tape measure say differently. Chin up! Maybe today is the day you have finally motivate me to get out there walking. I'll keep you posted!

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  4. That's the blog I have been waiting for Munchie!!! Love you XOXO

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  5. Bailey your an awesome lady and that is so friggin sweet you have lost 30 lbs congrats. You are inspiring me thats for sure and i plan to take that same video and hopefully lose some weight. Keep your head up and think positive although i know it is hard you can do it!!!!!!!!!

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  6. You will achieve your goals! You shouldn't feel bad about things slowing down this month--sometimes, even when you work hard, your body has other plans. I know. I can commiserate with the guilt. As long as you're being healthy, it will all work out in the end!

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  7. You are SMOKIN HOT and doing great! Let this week/month go... that's what holidays are for. Happy Thanksgiving xxoo

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  8. Just wanted to say, 30 lbs., how did you do that?!?! That's awesome! And also, if good ol' Aunt Flo is on her way, that COULD be part of the reason you haven't lost lately. She makes ya retain fluid, and get all bloaty and such. So keep that in mind around that fantastically fun week of each month.

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  9. oh how can i relate to every aspect of this post!!!

    thanks for writing an awesome insight into it all!

    xxoo!

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  10. "...and I'm going to keep losing until I'm the sexiest bitch you've ever seen!" I LOVE that. You go girl, and remember that. Sometimes that is what I have to tell myself as well. This weekend was a hard one. Full of family, people shoving you fatty, unhealthy food and what not! BUT. Sometimes we need those couple weeks in the year to just relax and let loose. At least, that's what I have to tell myself to make me feel a tad better.

    No matter how different our situations may be, I can relate to you in SO many ways through this post. I love how you just let your emotions go and wrote with your heart.

    Stay positive. Work hard.
    You WILL be that girl you want :)

    I'll keep cheering for ya!
    Hope this week starts off great for you!

    xoxo
    Erin

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