I needed a bit of perspective before I start my new year. I saw myself in the first picture, almost puked, then laughed. I put on the dress, took a picture, stepped back from any negative thoughts and told myself - you are the fucking bomb!!
Okay. I may not be the bomb yet but I'm closer to it than I was a year ago..or even 4 months ago. Four months ago is when I really started putting my heart and soul into getting fit and I HAVE to take a few minutes every once in a while to appreciate it and congratulate myself on how well I have done.
Am I in a size 4 jeans? No. I'm SO far from being in a size 4 it's not even funny.
Have I gone down 3 jean sizes this year? Yeah, I have. 3 jean sizes. Fucking hell.
Am I at goal weight? No. I'm not even half way actually.
Have I lost 35 pounds? Why yes, yes I have lost 35 lbs. That's like a large one year old, my nephew for example. Also, I've worked out more than I ever have in my life and I'm in decent shape so the muscle I've gained would probably impress me.
Do I have a boyfriend because I'm so smokin hot? I sure don't!
Do I feel like a million bucks anyway? Yeah. Sometimes I think, you're sorta almost smokin hot anyway, who cares if no guy thinks so and no guys looks at you! I am decently happy with myself and so excited to see what else I'm capable of.
Am I Jennifer Hudson and spokesmodeling for a major weight loss company like WW? You're fuckin right I'm not.
Do people tell me all the time that I inspire them? yeah, and it feels awesome. I want to spread the awesome and I want to inspire others to change their lives and feel awesome about themselves because there is nothing better. No boyfriend, no drug, no chocolate bar, no dress can make you feel amazing. To feel loved and amazing and to fully love others and let em love you back right, you must love yourself first and I truly believe that.
Did I eat like a maniac and gain over the holiday? You're darn tootin. I gained 3 lbs and while I'm not proud I'm not surprised either.
Am I going to not only kick ass this new year but reach my goal by the end of the year? Fuck yeah, and I can't wait. Come hell or high water..
Thanks everyone again, for the millionth time, for all your support. There is no way to adequately show with writing or any other medium really how much it means to me and how much it pushes me forward! Thank you thank you gracias merci thank you!!!