Saturday, December 17

wow.

2011 has been a weird/interesting/good year for me, it was another year of no school, work and travel. Throughout the past year I have felt at times like I’m moving backward or just sort of treading water and staying in the same place. Do you ever feel like everything your doing is for nothing, you’re just sort of going through the motions of whatever your life entails at that point? Well I felt like that so much, specifically during time spent on the island.
This month though I realized that I have been through quite a bit in the past year. This year was a lot about me growing as a person, woman, traveler, worker and friend. It was about having some experiences that really showed me who I am, who others are and as cheesy as it sounds I feel I learned a lot about life (as much as you can at 20 anyway).
New Years Eve with Maddy, Tam and Sara. I SO fat.
I spent January and the start of Feburary working really hard as I was about to take off from Grand Manan for six months. I was lucky enough to be able to head to PEI where my best friend goes to university and have a girls weekend with my 3 best friends before I left.
PEI :)
So as I mentioned, I was about to leave on a grand adventure. This year I went on my first real backpacking trip! I headed out west first to see my brother Jer, sister in law, 3 nephews and niece in Edmonton. I also got to see my other brother, Reuben who I hadn't seen since I graduated. I had yet to meet the twins or ever go past Ontario so it was a great experience for me! I had a lot of fun and as usual, I spent a lot of quality time with my sister in law who has taught me so much. She got me kickstarted on a diet out there and I lost 5lbs before my trip. That was the last time I ever saw my highest weight - thank fuck!
Left : Jer, Me, Reub
Right: Rusty, Mollie, Max, Will

At the end of February I flew to Guatemala. I was going back to Xela, the town I had visited after graduating. I did some volunteering there at the same orphanage for about a month. Then I spent some time in San Pedro on Lake Atitlan which was amazing. I learned a lot on the lake, some good some bad, and I took a lot away from that part of my
trip.
Outside my hostel in San Pedro
After San Pedro I flew to Costa Rica and met up with Tam. We spent three weeks traveling through Costa Rica and spent a few days in Panama. It was an amazing experience that opened my eyes to how lucky I am that I get to travel and I have a friend who was willing to come experience it with me. After that I traveled up through Nicaragua and into Honduras. I met someone and the next day was headed to the Bay islands. After that I went back through Honduras and into Guatemala again with her and her friendwho had just flown in. I really never knew what my plan was and it was an exhilarating and sometimes scary part to traveling. It made me brave. I spent the rest of my trip back at the lake and headed back to Edmonton at the first of June .
My friend Clarissa and I in San Pedro - she was the life of the party always.
Tam and I in Bocas with our new norweigan friends.
I was back home on June 15 and it was amazing. I learned so much about my friendships while gone and it was the best two days ever finally seeing all the people I love who I had not seen in almost six months. My life basically went back to the same old of work and partying. Typical Grand Manan summer. I moved out of my parents house for a while and lived with my boss and her kids. That was an insane change and when they moved off the island it was pretty hard on me. All in all though, I had a great summer and really cherished being home and with my friends after a few struggles during the trip.
Made it home just in time for prom/grad!
just what i needed after being away!
So now it's December. I'm still living at home, just working and enjoying when I get to visit with friends. I'm back at home with my parents which is the best it's ever been, the move in the summer really helped. In September I made the biggest change ever and decided to lose 100lbs. I've lost 34 and I feel amazing. Most of you have been reading through it all with me and all the support has really helped me. I can't wait for 2012 to start and be the year that I make it to my goal weight.
Like I said earlier, this year has really taught me so much. Here are some of the things I have learned.
  • I learned to set some people back on the ground instead of keeping them on a pedestal. Sometimes the people you love are going to lie to you. They are going to let you down. They are going to hurt you. Sometimes those people seem older, wiser and maybe even perfect but we need to cut them slack. They are human. You get older and realize that no one is perfect.
  • Sometimes those people...they don’t deserve second chances. Sometimes they do.
  • When you make it through the things that break you, they really will make you stronger. They may make you angrier, harder, sad and doubting but eventually you will learn great things from the bad things.
  • Letting go of your anger for someone can bring you so much peace. Feeling happy for them and letting go of anything they did to hurt you can do great things for your own morale. Anger wastes so much energy.
  • I learned that the fact that I’m single doesn’t have to be negative. Being single is not the worst thing in the world. In fact, it could be the best thing for me, especially when the other option is dating someone who doesn’t deserve, respect or treat me the way they should.
  • After traveling I appreciate my independence so much more. I love the people I love with all my heart so if I had a boyfriend I would not be able to leave and travel the way I do. When I finally settle down that will be great and I will love him and I will be thankful for my experiences when I was single. For now I’m so appreciative to not be tied down and to have done the things I have.
  • Attitude is at least 75% of everything. The situation is all how you look at it and react to it. Make the best of everything.
  • I will find love. Some day a guy will see the weird beauty in me, inside and out, and he will love me and I will love him. I am worth it and I don't need to settle for anything less.
  • Great things happen when you least expect/want/need them.
  • People don't always get what they deserve, whether they deserve good or bad things.
  • Gossip is horrid. Until you are the gossip you don't realize how horrible it is. Never judge someones situation and mind your own god damn business because you really never know what the real deal is.
  • The reason you don't know the real deal is cause it's not your deal to know.
  • Sometimes people don't mean to hurt you when they do. The way you wanted things to be just wasn't the way they were suppose to be and that's not their fault.
  • You will grow apart from friends. It doesn't mean the friendship wasn't worth it, it just means life happened.
  • Sometimes you get what you give and karma can be a real asshole. Karma can also be a delightful gift.
  • My mother loves me more than anyone ever in the world.
  • I deserve better than to let people walk all over me. I have stood up to more people this year than ever before. I refuse to be a doormat.
  • I am stronger than I ever knew.
Yeah some of these things are obvious and some are cliched and this is maybe HALF of the things I learned. I am a better person because of this year and everything I went through. I am not perfect and I don't ever want to be perfect. I am happy with who i am and the woman I am growing up to be and I hope some day I am someone that my family and friends can be proud of.
I hope 2012 is another growing year for me because that's sort of what this whole thing is all about - being the best I can be, having the best life possible. I hope it brings great things for those I love.. for everyone. It can but it's all what you put into it. So put everything into 2012, make it your best year ever and do it for you and for everyone you love. Life is short and too short for many so dive into this next year head first and do all the things you want to do and never forget to tell those who you love that you love them.
From the beautiful and brilliant mind of Bailey ;)
Big Love!
Merry Christmas and a very Happy and Healthy New Year Everyone!

5 comments:

  1. Bailey, you are amazing! This is an awesome post. If your 2012 is anything like this year, I want you to adopt me as your partner in crime, travel and random international friends. LOL. Sounds like a great year, keep working, learning, growing and loving. It will pay off. I found this post to be really inspiring. Little sister, you just made my day. So happy for you!

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  2. okay a couple of things...
    you are wise beyond your years, i loveeeeee this entire post from beginning to end & you rock balls!

    nuff said!

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  3. I really liked this post A LOT. What a great year for you with so much insight. I was going to say "So excited to see what 2012 will bring your way," but I am changing that to: "Can't wait to see what you will bring to 2012" You're awesome.

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  4. You are so awesome. You have taken HUGE steps towards being the person you want to be. I admire that and am inspired by that. Keep it up and can't wait to read about it.<3

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  5. Terrific post looking back at your year. Not only did you have an active, fun-paced time but you also acquired some serious and valuable wisdom. Those are smart observations you make that will help you greatly in the future. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

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