Saturday, February 4

211

Four years ago, with my mother, best friend and my best friends mother, I joined weight watchers. I started at 251 and about 5 months later I weighed 212. Weight watchers is an amazing program but I was stupid and I was not eating enough, I wore myself out and gave into binge eating. I couldn't keep it up. 212 was as far as I got and that summer I started to gain the weight back until I was back to square one at 251 lbs.

Last January I was still 251. I lost 5 lbs in February and during my backpacking trip I dropped another 25lbs. I lost the weight from binge drinking, eating one or twice every other day and walking pretty much everywhere. This was not on purpose or to lose weight, it was simply my lifestyle. This lifestyle was clearly not one I could keep up. By the time September rolled around, 3 months after my return to Canada, I had gained most of the weight back and was at 242. That is when this journey started.

I have never seen a number lower than 212. I didn't weigh myself while growing, the last time I remember weighing myself I weight 100lbs and I was ashamed because none of the girls my age weighed that much. In middle school I never weighed myself out of fear of what I would see. I didn't weigh myself in high school out of an even greater fear of what I would see. I didn't step on the scale until i was 16 and I was at that first weight watchers weigh in. Then I saw the number go as low as 212.

As you can tell, 212 holds a special meaning to me. To me it is not just the number I wanted to get back down to but the number I wanted to blow out of the water and say 'im stronger now! and i will kick your ass this time' to. I have been plateauing for about six weeks and I thought "Is this my fate? I will get to this number and I will give up just like I did last time. Am i destined to keep gaining and losing and gaining this 30 odd lbs forever? Is this it? What the fuck?".

It wasn't it. I trucked through that plateau. I never gave up even for a second. I wanted to, believe me, a few times. Every time I would get on the scale and it was the same thing after a week of great eating and awesome works outs. When I would get on the scale and not only did it not go down, but it dared to go up. I didn't care though.. I was going to beat it.

Finally last week, the scale moved. It was down 2 lbs. 38 lbs lost. I weighed 213. I was so close, TOO close, to that 212 I had been waiting to see. Not only did I want to see it but I couldn't wait to get past it. To see a number I had never seen, the lowest number of my life (besides when I was a growin girl lol). And it happened..

Today I weighed in at 211.5. PEACE THE FUCK OUT PLATEAU! And fuck you 212. It was a big moment for me. At first it flashed down to 210 and I almost shit in my pants but I was fine as it settled into 211.5. Some of you may not understand this and its okay. Truth is, I still weigh over 200 lbs and I have a ton of weight to lose so I shouldnt be getting too excited yet lol. its true. But I have come so far and breaking these tiny barriers and reaching goals.. its what pushes me to keep going.

For any of you who are facing a plateau or are struggling with anything at all in life I need for you to not give up. If you think it sounds cheesy well great, turns out I dont give a fuck what you think about it. Never ever give up hope and never stop trying to make the best of your life. There are oppurtunities for happiness and success everywhere, everyday and its up to us to seize them.

In blog news :
1)As you may have noticed i DID reach the 100 followers and I officially have my own domain www.beingbaileyj.com
2)I've been making some small changes around the site, more to come, including a header that isn't horribly ugly like the stand in one I have now aha
3)I have my own facebook page now! Being Bailey J - a fan/like watever the hell you have to do!

Okay guys! Thats it for tonight. Work+gym+housesitting and pet sitting = one exhausted bailey j. Have an awesome weekend and as always...

big love!
bail.

9 comments:

  1. Congrats girl I know how hard it can be to loose and how frustrating those plateaus can be! Keep up the great work :)

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  2. Tears for sure! So happy for you and your determination to succeed. Not all days are easy but they will go by and you will succeed...I know it! Just wait until the day is says 199.8! Love you XOXOXO

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  3. LOVE the new domain -- so YOU!

    and hell fucking yeah for busting past 212! i had the same issue with getting past 200 & staying there. it took me off & on THREE years to finally get my head in the game but here i am -- way past it!
    i swear once ya bust down that door -- the rest feels like butter!

    keep rockin' it girlie!

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  4. Yeah, baby!! On to Onederland... I am so happy for you. Some strange numbers really just hold meaning to us. Glad you are past yours. LIke I said about my odd target of 233, "Shit just got real!". Can't wait to see the new site.

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  5. OMG!!! So PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!! The next thing you know you'll be under the 200 mark. I can't wait to hear the news either. Doing a happy dance for you today, celebrating your triumph!

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  6. If you had shit your pants then it would have definitely remained on 210! haha!

    Seriously though, very proud of you!!!

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  7. LMAO at "...and I almost shit in my pants."
    I don't own a scale at all. I did Weight Watchers for a while, too. In fact, I think I was still there way back then when you first joined. I lost 15 lbs...then I gave up.(?!) I forget why now.
    I have no idea what I weigh now, but it's over 200 for sure.

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