As you guys may know I am a huge fan of Pinterest. Surprisingly I have gone about a week without using it (gasp) but before this happened I came across a pin that posed the question "If more women were willing to be ladies would it challenge more men to be gentleman?". I loved it. I think yes, men would feel a challenge to be gentlemen if we challenged them in the first place.
Sometimes I feel as though girls have no respect for themselves anymore. They let guys treat them like shit and they treat themselves like shit. In my opinion, why should a guy have to give you respect when you can't even give yourself any? The door swings both ways as well - guys need a little self respect before I consider them an option for a boyfriend.
I consider myself to be a good girl and I'm pretty old school. I'm a virgin (yes, the rumors are true) and while I have zero intentions of waiting for marriage. I will be waiting for a guy who shows me constant respect, has proven that he loves me and who I love as well. I try not to keep sex on a pedestal and I don't necessarily plan on only having one sexual partner. But I do know myself and I have an emotional attachment to sex. I do see my virginity as something special, I like to think that someone who actually cares about me will have that part of me.
I don't think all girls should treat sex like I do, it is just what works best for me. I think that if you want to have casual sex until you die, if that makes you happy and confident and empowered or whatever it does for you - then do it. You live once and you need to do the things that make you happy.
My issue is that, because I've waited, I want a guy who holds sex in the same regard. I have never felt like I want to lose my virginity to another virgin - that sounds messy and not fun at all to be honest but I would like a guy who has respect for my choices. I want a guy who is willing to make love to me, not have sex with other girls and chose to not "fuck and chuck" me. It's actually not that much to ask regardless of what you may think.
I would think that if I meet a guy who has that sort of respect for me, that he probably wouldn't have respect for the girl who feels the opposite way about sex as I do. Which leads me to my first argument - if you don't treat yourself like a lady with a bit of respect, you're probably not going to attract a gentleman.
Sexuality is huge and out there nowadays. I think that's great - I don't think sex and sexuality should be this like hidden secret because it's a huge part of who we are. I think it can be talked (generally) about openly. Not everyone agrees, some people choose to treat it like it's some huge sin and if you talk about it out loud you're going to hell - this virgin disagrees. You can be sexual and be sexy while respecting yourself though. Look at me - I'm like sexual desire in a fat suit.
If I could give one piece of advice to people in high school, especially girls, it would be to take it easy and feel zero pressure to have sex until you want to. Date, hook up, have fun.. but be careful. I have no friends who have told me they regret having sex in high school but they do regret who they had sex with.
My second piece of advice, to everyone in general, would be to demand respect. Respect is earned and no one is going to give it to you if you don't even ask.
PS! I updated my Before/After page a bit!