Monday, March 12

manic sunday, monday..maybe even tuesday.


Yesterday was a day and a half. Celebratory drinks were drunk sat night and with the time change I swear I could have slept until about 3pm. Instead, I woke up at noon because I knew I should be responsible and pack+prepare for my big move (that happens in about 45 mins). Actually my mother bribed me out of bed with pancakes.. same difference.

I tried to be productive but it wasn't happening. I had a nap not long after waking up and eventually packed all my stuff into my car which I am really appreciating now.I was a ball of nerves and anxiety all day, a more intense version of what I have been for over a week now . I'm not anxious about anything in particula
r just the thought of moving to a new place with no friends and no job and Im a generally anxious person. No need to fret though - I quit my job here and only one of my friends remains on the island so I might as well throw myself somewhere else and say that I tried something new. If I don't like it the solution is simple - I will come home for the summer.

I don't really enjoy goodbyes but to be honest, I'm sort of good at them. I've grown up living on an island separated from the greater part of my family. There was summer camp, student leadership conferences and eventually travels where I was meeting new people and making aesome new friendships were I eventually had t
o say goodbye - its sort of a part of life, you cant always be around everyone and everything you love.

So instead of dwelling on the people and places and things and comforts of being home that I will miss I thought I'd throw together a list of things I won't fucking miss at all to help this move flow a little smoother!
I won't miss needing to take a ferry to be a par
t of civilization (including malls, movie theatres, restaurants etc.)

I won't miss not having a nice restaurant to go to.

I won't miss the gym where nothing works, no one puts back their weights and the feeling of overpopulation after 3 people are in the room.

I won't miss dreading the Mondays where I go back work and my friends who came home for the weekend head back to school.

I won't miss being the joke, being picked on and made to feel inadequate (which i wasnt, thanks) every day.

I won't miss doing everything alone (probably because I may STILL be doing everything alone) and spending friday nights laying in bed on Pinterest.
I won't miss the rotten vegetables and shitty health food selection.

I won't miss feeling like I'm on a fucking hamster wheel just going through the motions of everyday , never moving forward or backward. I won't miss feeling like I haven't lived or taken a chance in months.
Of course there are people and things I will miss - that is a given. But sometimes, in order to give yourself that push, you have to remind yourself what you are running to so that you keep going.

Hoping to give you guys some good blogs soon but until then, wish me luck on this journey and pray that I find a full time job where I'm moderately happy soon!
Big big love.
Bailey.
summer freedom at home.

5 comments:

  1. you are amazing -- no many people are brave enough to do what you are doing!
    i am sure you will rock it no matter where you are!

    xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Bailey J ( I mainly like saying that cause I'm Erin J! okay that was corny and stupid)...

    Anyways, I could never pack up and leave -- go get it girl - dang I wish I had that courage and strength. I absolutely love your list of things you WON'T miss. I agree with most as well. Three people in my workout area (if and when I even work out) is suffocating. I feel like people just stare at me and my awkwardness. No thank you.

    Also, fridays nights in a warm comfy bed watching some good tv and pinning sounds like a good night to me ;)

    I freaking love you real, honest, hilarious posts girl. Keep um' coming and keep your head up! Hope the move goes well!

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, I love this post. I also love the pic of you. You're amazing. I can't wait to hear ALLLLL about how this plays out - good things are in store for you, my dear.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm a bit late with my reading because for some reason your blog doesnt show up in my list anymore, so i'll probably unfollow you and re-follow you again (grr @ blogger!).

    I wish you all the best with your move and I hope you have a truely fantastic future. I'm looking forward to hearing how you get on.

    ReplyDelete

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