Sunday, March 4

STFU : The 8 I Hate

Last week I read a blog about all the things the writer hated hearing because she was bigger. I was inspired by it and thought I would write one of my own tonight. I can't remember for the life of me who's blog it was but if I remember I will be sure to show her love and link up. Most of my examples are probably the same but let me know what you think!

The 8 I Hate
things i hate to hear as a big girl and as a big girl who is losing weight :


"Girl, you are just big boned!"
No, I'm fat. In fact, if you look at the women in my family, they are tall and slim on my mothers side and my father is a tiny little man. Also, the assumption that even if I lose weight I'm still going to look like an ogre is not particularly flattering, thanks. I'm fat, whether my bones are big or not.

"Listen, from the back, you are so narrow"
Great. I'm glad that when you can't see my huge stomach I look slimmer to you. If only I could just go through life only showing the back side of me. Super glad you noticed my narrow flat ass too - I love that my stomach is bigger than me ass, thats what all guys find attractive.

"Its just water weight."
100lbs is a lot of fucking water weight. Must be every fucking glass of water I've ever drank sittin in there.

"Guys love curvy girls!"
Too bad I'm fat then. I'll let you know when my hips come in.

"Well... at least the black guys go for you!"That is offensive on a lot of different levels for a lot of different people.

"yeah.. but you have SUCH a pretty face."
Fabulous. Total shame about the rest of me, eh?

"You are so young. It will all just snap back!"

Yeah except I've been fat my whole life, it's not like a pregnancy where you have a belly for 5 months.

"You look great. 10 more pounds and you will be fabulous. No more than that though"
Except I need to lose 45lbs just to be at the high end of my healthy weight range.


Don't get me wrong, I get so much amazing support and I am thankful for that. Sometimes people just plain and simple don't know what they are talking about and throw out the most ridiculous back handed comments. I get tired of hearing I have a pretty face because a)I don't agree and b)It doesn't mean I look good. No amount of pretty face can make up for years of feeling like a fat outcast and being obese and unhealthy.

For those of you who have been overweight, do you hate any of these comments? Do you like them? What other comments do you hate to get?

Big love,
Bailey.

7 comments:

  1. For me it depends on who says that. If I know it comes from someone who actually cares about me, I don't mind as much. Some people however... the best thing they can say to me is, "Have a nice day, goodbye!"

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  2. Here's some big love for the big early morning laugh XO

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  3. I hate hearing: how did you ever let yourself get like that anyway? Ummm?? Idk how to answer that. It's totally beyond insulting.

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  4. I've heard all of these. I hate them. Only the person on the journey has any right to know what is good for them and how to feel about their bodies.

    It annoys me that others always have to try to add their two cents. Ugh.

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  5. Had a heart attack when I read this as I've said 3 of these things to you, and 1 of them in the last 24 hours. I was talking about water weight last night- lol. I know you don't have 100 pounds of water weight (lol), but... I wondered if you would feel better seeing body fat percentage and water percentage to get an idea of where your final goal should be. I always tell you you are gorgeous-I am envious of your skin tone and facial features so I focus more specifically on these things. Would love to have a smile like yours instead of my thin-lipped weak one, and big eyes, and great hair, and not to be a ginger- love your complexion. When I say it, I mean it, and it's not a dig at your size just because I didn't say "you have a great bum". I feel bad knowing that doesn't mean something nice. I think I've told you it will snap back too because you are young, but only if/when you bring up concerns about excess skin. I think it's good it's not pregnancy-related as my twin belly will never look normal again bc it got so unnaturally huge in a rapid amount of time. My doctor has said pregnancy scarring is much worse than skin stretch from being overweight as weight is gained more slowly in the latter situation. So, interestingly, I feel the opposite. I HATE when overweight people tell me that my pregnancy weight or stretch marks will go away bc they won't.
    What we can learn from this blog is best summed up by Chubby McGee- only the person on the journey knows, and no one needs to hear the added two cents. So, from now on, I'll keep my mouth shut and let you do your thing.

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  6. I totally see how these comments can be offensive and flat out, ANNOYING. Sometimes it's better for people to just be quiet then to open their mouth!

    I have a dam skin condition and when people try to tell me "oh it's not that bad" or "just don't worry about it" I really want to strangle them sometimes... okay, not literally, but you get the drift.

    persevere.
    <3

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  7. As a guy I rarely get any "compliments" like this but I did hear one yesterday on TV which was said from a guy to a girl on a dating show.

    The TV presenter asked the guy whether he found the lady who chose him gorgeous. He replied with "she has a wonderful personality" and totally avoided answering the question. She just wanted to smack him in the face!

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Leave some love, questions, suggestions or links! Advice and constructive criticism always welcome but no hate and negativity if you can help it at all! Thanks in advance xx

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