Sunday, April 29

i is home!

I'm back in Canada! Court and I touched down in Halifax around dinner time last night and I will be honest, after an awesome and exhausting trip, it felt good to get home and get some sleep!

All in all, the trip was great. It started out a bit rocky - literally. The 4 hour plane right from Halifax to Cuba was a bit turbulent. As we arrived in Veradero, a huge rain storm was brewing and the lightning began to strike. Ever been in the lightning on a plane? It's scary as fuck. I'm an awesome flyer but it just about made me shit my pants the first time it struck. Crazy thoughts ran through my head "Is something on fire? "Are we going to get struck?". The most ironic thing about the lightning was that Courtney had just informed me that you are 12x more likely to be struck by lightning than attacked by a shark mere hours before this plane ride.

If you know Courtney well, you probably know how prone to motion sickness she is. She can barely drive herself without feeling nauseous - she can be sick simply going to the store in the car. She is unable to ride the city bus and takes gravol pretty frequently. Imagine her reaction when the landing in veradero was anything but smooth. I have never experienced anything like it, we were rocking all over the place, definitely enough movement to get Court a bit nervous. Before long we were prepared with the barf bag and she was yakking as we landed in Varadero - she always makes an interesting entrance.

Luckily she felt much better by the time we got off the plane. Unfortunately we had to wait 20 minutes before we were even allowed to exit the plane. They asked for a bus to be sent to take us to the entrance of the airport so we didn't have to walk in the rain. In typical excited tourist fashion, Courtney and I insisted we'd rather just run in the rain - get us to our resort!

Once inside, I made a hasty beeline for the bathroom. In many of the bathrooms I've been to in central american countries, they make you pay to get inside. I was happy to be able to enter this one free of charge as I had no pesos but no worries, there was someone inside harrassing me on the way out instead, insisting I needed to buy some paper towel to wipe my hands. No thanks - my shorts work wonders.

As I made my way back to Courtney I had no idea what was in store for us. What was in store you ask? Many hours of waiting for our luggage. It was somewhere between 2-3 hours and it was not a fun wait. We have no idea why it took so long, we were the last flight to land so it's not like they were busy with 5 other incoming flights. My best guess is that they made one single cuban man bring in each piece of luggage from the plane one by one with an umbrella so that our luggage made it in untouched by the rain - after all, they insisted that they were just trying to keep our luggage dry. Apparently it was a complicated process.

Although this made us a bit cranky as it was about 1 o clock by the time we hit our bus, we were optimistic and excited about getting to our resort. Our guide on the bus was a girl studying english and she was hilarious and kept my spirits up as we made our way to Veradero. She made us laugh by cracking jokes about Americans and gave us interesting advice and info for Cuba.

Things started out a bit rough at the resort. First, the staff at the front desk were totally rude and they continuted to be so for about 90% of the time. We shrugged it off - we were in Cuba! Our keys didn't work to get into our room, we got them fixed by another rude staff member and shrugged it off again. Then we politely waited 2 hours to be served (and by served i mean just have our orders taken!) at a restaurant on the resort as we were starving. There were a ton of obnoxiously drunk people who totally annoyed us even though we knew we had been those people more than once. We tried to shrug it off but by 3am and no food - we were a little out of sorts.

We went to bed vowing to have an awesome week and we did. Though there were more ups and downs with rude staff and shitty service, we had a really good vacation. We spent a lot of time being lazy by the pool, on the beach or just chatting in the lobby and having a drink. Court is the best - I can talk to her forever and laugh with her forever or just sit in silence with her - we have a good relationship. We laughed over the price of pringles (about 2x more than a quart of liquor) and made up our own game as we drank in the lobby. When we would see someone who looked like someone we know, we would shout their name and the other had to find them. Pretty funny.

We went to Havana on Tuesday and loved it. Court has been there before but still found the trip interesting. I was glad she wanted to go again because I really wanted to see it. I loved the architecture and just seeing all the culture and people we were surrounded by. As someone who doesn't do the resort thing very often (this was my first time!!), I always enjoy the chance to see how locals really live and what life is like outside of the resort areas. We were able to see some amazing places, have a really nice meal and visit the markets were Courtney couldn't keep her hand out of her wallet.

We also hit a club (or disco/discoteque as central americans refer to them) off of the resort twice and had a ball, especially the first night. The first night, Court was sick and still managed to have a fun time so that says a lot aha. The second night I probably enjoyed more than everyone because we were 2 of about 10 non locals in the whole place and I enjoyed seeing all the locals work it out haha. We ended up going there with 2 other New Brunswickers, one who I've known for years and his girlfriend who was absolutely awesome! It's a small world! So small we met people from NB who knew all kinds of random GM'ers - I love that game haha.

Other than the outings we did a lot of eating, drinking and laying in the sun. It was a very hard week for us aha. The funny thing is that we were ALWAYS exhausted - the sun really does take it out of you. I ended up with a pretty stupid sunburn which sucked and made it hard to sleep but its turning to a tan now and Im loving it. Courtney is mocha colored and I was pretty jealous of her tanning skills. 

Unfortunately the last night of the trip, about 12 hours before we were due to leave, my purse went missing. In my purse was my camera so I have zero pictures. It makes me so sad because I had some really great pictures to show you guys of Court and I, Havana, our favorite waitress, the puppy we stole (i'll get to that in a second) and even pics of me in a wait for it.... bikini! Yep - I got confident and wore a bikini with a cover up on the resort for a few days. pretty impressive for me! haha ( maybe scary for other unsuspecting vacationers). So that sucks about the photos but Im choosing to try to move on from the loss and luckily Court took heaps of pictures and when she posts them I will hook you guys up!

As for the dog steeling.. yeah.. we did it. There were a few homeless dogs that wander the resorts looking for food and one night we decided we wanted one. He came to our room and hung out for a while then we locked him in there with some water and the patio door open so that we could hang out when we got back from the disco. We named him Oliver Bagel - Ollie for short. Bagel is derived from Courtneys late dog Toast - we thought we might as well continue on the carb filled name trend. That night we began referring to our room as the puppy palace. When we came back, he was asleep on the bed and we let him stay the night. I miss you Ollie!

All in all it was an amazing trip. We met some really awesome people, saw some WICKED shows including a michael jackson show which I LOVED!(and was creepy and the impersonator sounded and looked just like him, SO creepy. BUT it was amazing!) We had some great drinks, some shitty drinks but always strong drinks! Damn they know how to make em - at least 50/50 everytime, honestly. I mentioned to Court that they mix their drinks like Alex does. I drank so much red wine, got Court drinking a bit of it too! We kept ourselves well fed and enjoyed the food despite all the bad food reviews we've heard of Cuba. We laughed lots, fought little and had amazing weather. It would be very hard to ask for more. My first resort experience was definitely great :)

As I said, I will post pictures when I can. For now I am just catching up on sleep, flushing all the crap out of my body and settling in back home. Excited to get back on track with eating, exercise and BLOGGING! I was also offered a job at Coles but more on that later, this post is already a novel.

Glad to be back here with you guys,
Big Love

Friday, April 20

I'm Currently Unavailable

I am unavailable at this time but if you'd like to leave your name and number in the comment box below, I will get back to you as soon as possible. And when is as soon as possible? Next Saturday - when I get home from my trip to CUBA! That's right, the time has come, and as you read these words I'm either in transit or in Cuba enjoying the sand and sun (and ok- maybe the free liquor too). It's totally okay to feel jealous right now!

For those of you who are regular readers, I encourage you to check out some of the blogs I follow while I'm gone. My favorites include Skinny Jeans Dreams , Awkward Sex and The City, Head Up Heart Strong, The Shrinking Rocket Scientist, Fat Boy Thin and Who Wears Short Shorts You can check out the many others I follow over to the right (under blogs i love). Check out these awesome writers and their blogs - I'm sure you will find some you love!

For those of you who are new, welcome! I'm glad you made your way here. I'm sorry that the top post isn't more interesting but I'm going to link you to the blog posts from the past that my readers like best. Although these days my blog mostly revolves around my weight loss journey and me bragging about my trip to Cuba, I also have a lot of blogs that I just pulled out of my tiny brain. I love those posts, that's how this blog started a few years ago, just me rambling. Check out below for the hook up!

My Top 10 Most Read Posts are as follows :

8)Shit I Dont' Get Part 5 ( click for part 1, part 2, (part 3 apparently is non existant, i just skipped to 4) and part 4)
10)Harry Potter Humor (a personal favorite)

If you havn't had enough I also have different pages. To learn more about me, check out The Writer and to see some transformation photos or read a bit more about my weight loss journey check out Before/Afters and Operation Sexy Bitch. They can all be found at the top of the page :)

You can also check out some other blogs and web pages I love under In My Spare Time in the top left if you are really fiending for websites to check out, haha.

Last but not least, if you made it this far and like what you see - follow my blog! You can do that at the top right, click Join This Site! You can also find me on most popular networking sites !

have an awesome week! i will miss my blog, my awesome readers, the comments, the writing and all of the blogs i read but i promise to enjoy cuba!

big love,
talk soon,

Wednesday, April 18

what i love..

Today I`m linking up with This Kind Of Love for What I Love Wednesdays. As I wrote about earlier this week in my post Blessed , I have a ton to be thankful for and so many people/things I love. So today I'm going to introduce you to some things Im loving on this lovely wednesday with the help of Pinterest (www.pinterestcom/bailj follow me!)

Booty Work Outs!
As some of you may know, I have this dream of having a big awesome butt. I am the dreaded apple shape, which means I carry my weight mostly in my upper body like in my belly and back. So I do a lot of cardio (and healthy eating) to say peace out to the belly and I make a lot of attempts at booty building exercises to try to build a butt and even myself out a bit. A new, quick one I found the other day was the squat challenge through Blogilates which I posted on my blogs facebook page. Check that shit out - you will die. (and like my page while you're at it!)

Swim Up Bars!
I know. I keep talking about it. But I am SO excited! I am loving the idea of my trip to Cuba that is happening in THREE days!! My only request for this trip was that there is a swim up bar at the resort so I dont have to leave the pool for a drink if I dont want to hahah. Sad, I know. Whos jealous? Im jealous of myself!

Chicken Ranch Wraps
I don't even really like ranch! But the snack wraps from Tim Hortons are really good and I've been eating one like.. everyday for the last week. It needs to end aha. Better than a doughnut right? MMM. food!

Remember Jojo? *Bursts into scary version of "Leave"* I loved her. The other day I found her version of Marvins Room (originally by Drake) and kind of fell in love with it. Jojo all grown up! Listen here
Source: via Amy on Pinterest

For me, shorts season started about a month ago. I hate pants. I hate wearing jeans or dress pants.. its just not my thing. I much prefer skirts and dresses and I wear them all winter. I think they are more fun and comfortable. I DO love shorts though and Im so excited to be a little smaller and hopefully look a little better in them this season. Im waiting until June to buy a few pairs because I plan on reaching that next size first. EXCITED! Right now I have one pair that fit, the rest I had to chuck because they were too big. Awesome but I want me some shorts!

Source: via Bailey on Pinterest

I am SO distracted right now. I honestly don't think I can post anymore because a)I cant think on the topic long enough to remember what i was going to post and b)When I go to post it I get distracted by something else. I am just getting too excited for my trip and have things to do .. and I cant focus. At all! Ahah. So i guess thats it for this post.

What are you guys loving today? xx

Big Love

Monday, April 16

195 Challenge : Week 3 Results

I posted earlier this week about thinking I would probably have a gain this week, or maintain at best. I originally had wanted to lose 2.8lbs which was definitely steep and I did not put in the work to lose that much this week. I was on point with food most days and kept active but there were a few bad days for sure. The post was called One Of Those Days and I did have a few bad days but it could have been worse.

To my surprise, I did lose this week. I lost .8 and am now at 208lbs. Im pretty happy about it - better than a gain...better than maintaining aha. It's so weird.. I've never seen these numbers. Some people don't ever see them because they never get that heavy but I have never been this light. I mean.. obviously at one point I was but not knowingly. The last time I remember knowing my weight before I weighed in at WW was when I was like in Gr.5 and upset that I had hit 100lbs and all my friends still weighed 80 and weight that much until we were like in Gr. 9 aha. (I had a few really tiny girls in my class - not fun when you are tall and "sturdy".)

Anyways.. it's just cool to be seeing all these new numbers. I'm not bouncing around 212 anymore and Im seeing all these new cool numbers aha. It's exciting! I also am realizing how close I am to "ONEderland". EIGHT pounds and I will be in the 100's. That's insane. For someone who has been in 200's for like.. ever.. its exciting as fuck!

This week I would love to get to 205. That's 3lbs and not really realistic considering I will be weighing in Early on Saturday morning. Why you ask? Because Saturday night I leave for MY TRIP TO CUBA!! and I will not be able to weigh in on Monday. I know numbers have way too much power over me and even if I got to 205 for Cuba I will look pretty much the way I do now. Still, sometimes it just puts you in a good mood and a good place to see the number and know you are there. I know I probably can't get there by Saturday but I could maybe do 206 which would excite me just as much haha.

So here comes Week 4. :) I will take a pic in the dress at the end of week 5 (probably when I get home from Cuba) and post for 1/2 way results in the dress! Hopefully I do well in Cuba (thats the plan) and we can see some progress in the dress :)

Anyways, that's about it for now. Just some updates from the 195 challenge - I really think I can reach this goal! So far I have lost 5lbs which is just one pound short of where I wanted to be (losing 2lb/wk) so I can definitely have a few awesome weeks and catch back up!

As usual there are more updates from the past week weight wise on the Operation Sexy Bitch page and Im always updating my before/after page as well.

Have a fabulous week, lovelies!
Big Love,

Sunday, April 15


Before I start what this post is actually about I would just like to get word out for any of you living in the Fredericton area who may be looking for a place just for the summer. My friend has a place she would liek to sublet May through August for a good price! If you are interested at all, or know someone who is, just shoot me an email or a fb inbox :) I will get you into contact with my friend from there! Thanks

Source: via MeuAnjo on Pinterest

Happy Sunday ! My favorite day because I get to be lazy like every other day but I get to act like it's only because its Sunday and on most occasions Im hungover. :)

I follow the blog (Bee)autiful Blessings and each Sunday the writer, Kaity, has a link up called Sunday Blessings. As you can probably guess it is just about counting your blessings. Although I do not consider myself religious, I am definitely spiritual and I believe in being extremely thankful for what you have (whether you were blessed with it or not).

I hate how greedy, ungrateful and entitled people, young and old, seem to be these days. Each day I try to thank whoever, whatever or maybe nothing for all that I have - which is a lot. Maybe I have nothing to thank, maybe the cards just fell like this for me, but I don't care. I need to know that if someone is doing this for me.. they know I appreciate it. I feel selfish and horrible when I see myself pouting over something I don't have when I already have SO much or when I realize I haven't thought about how awesome my life is in a while.

My Sunday Blessings
Basic Blessings

A Roof Over My Head
Not just that but a roof that I like. I love my living arrangements and I usually do. Even when I was in Guatemala and placed with a family, I was so blessed with an awesome family and a great home. When I live with my parents, it can be frustrating as an approaching 21 year old, but it's home and its comfortable. Its safe, we have running water, electricity, heat and food. So many people are lucky to have some place to sleep and those places don't have the basic things we take for granted - water, plumbing, etc.

Support System
I have a butt load of amazing people in my life. I have a huge family to start with and growing up I always had aunts, uncles and cousins around. If it wasn't awesome enough that I was blessed with loving, providing and responsible parents I had Jimmy and Debbie down the road who have meant so much to me and been a big part of my life and my grandmother lived right next door to me for much of my life. I also have amazing friends and some of their parents are amazing as well and when I think about all the great people in my life I get overwhelmed aha. Like right now.

New People/Experiences
I was lucky enough to travel through Central America twice since I graduated. I met so many new people and experienced so many new things. These people opened my mind to so many new cultures and ideas and people. Not everyone gets to go out and do the things I did and I am so thankful for my experiences. I am so thankful for enlightenment and having my mind opened up and broadened.

Source: via Kelly on Pinterest

The sky is the limit is what we are told. I don't know what my limit is but I know there is so much out there for me. I love that I can just go do something if I want. I live in a pretty free part of the world and though I do not have abundant funds I still have endless opportunities and when I think about it I feel pretty bad for not taking advantage. I can go for a walk down the street or I can hitch hike to the other end of the country. I can learn to knit, make new friends or write a blog and I can say whatever the hell I want. Some people are denied these simple opportunities and I am so thankful to be able to do the things I do!

I can chose to live in BC, I can chose to be Buddhist, I can chose to be liberal, I can chose to be whatever I want. There is criticism for any choices you make in this life but I am blessed to live in a place with so many different types of people who believe in various things and live in various ways. Much like opportunity I am thankful to be able to chose whatever it is I wish to do.

Each Day
I have lived thousands of days. Not every day was good and not every day was bad but I was blessed with all of these days, this whole life. Whether I live to be 21 or 91 I am so thankful for life. I have been blessed with a healthy life full of amazing things and I am overwhelmed with my fortune. No, my life isn't what everyone would consider to be great but I live a full, satisfying life and I share it with some pretty amazing people.

I know, these are pretty basic. If I participate in Sunday Blessings again I will be more specific but for my first time I just wanted to talk about how thankful I am for the simple things.

Lastly I would like to mention how thankful I am for my readers! You have encouraged me and supported me for so long. The readers who have been reading for 2 years or the readers who just stumbled upon my blog today.. thank you! I love writing and I love this blog and I am so thankful for the readers who are here with me every time I post. You guys are definitely blessings!

Big Love,

Saturday, April 14

One of Those Days

Disclaimer: at least I think that's what im suppose to call this little blurb. This is all over the place.. its one topic really but.. Im just rambling and ranting and getting things off my chest. Even my most dedicated readers - you are totally excused from reading this, haha. Kthxbye.

I'm having one of those days. The kind of day where you shop and nothing at that stupid stitches store fits even when you thought that finally you deserved to fit into the clothes. The kind of day when you try round 2 of making a soup you really want to try and it blows up all over you..again.. and tastes like absolute garbage. The kind of day when the scale says you are up way more pounds than you can handle. The kind of day where everything seems to be off, you feel like crap about yourself and you want to throw in the towel on anything you're trying for. No, I don't actually plan on throwing in the towel, at least not with weight loss. I'm just having one of those days.. like I said.

I guess it's one of those couple of days. I actually feel like I have PMS which I shouldn't for at least another week but.. blahh - what is UP with me? I've been doing really well with exercise but craving shitty food like crazy! I stay strong, avoid it, eat something healthy....then cave at the last minute. WTF BAILEY? Needless to say, the scale will not be down this week unless some sort of crazy miracle happens.

The scale is a big stress for me. I worry about it and now that I have placed the weight goal on it it seems like even more pressure. Maybe that makes the 195 challenge a bad idea? I don't thinks so, its good motivation for me. I do feel bad having to blog on a weigh in day though and say "hey everyone who reads my blog. i sucked this week and i gained.". But as Im writing that down right now.. I realize how crazy it is.

You guys are awesome readers and support me on my best and worse days and so many of you are struggling with your weight as well. You understand there are good weeks, bad weeks..terrible weeks, and that I cant expect a perfect loss every weigh in day. But i WANT them. I need to work my ass off and I dont every day.. and I should.

The big thing I need to focus on is the journey as a whole. One day I will be at my goal and these will all just be the ups and downs of the journey. I highly doubt anyone has ever lost 100lbs+ and had a loss every single week and never had a bad week. I have emotional addictions to food, I have horrible self esteem and I am still obese. I am going to have bad days.. and I have to remind myself that it's normal and it doesn't mean every day from now on will be bad.

I know I sound like a bipolar broken record. One day I'm empowered and this is it, its down on the scale from here, Im an exercising beast, Im so confident and fabuous and then its "fuck. this day sucks". Its annoying but its honest and I always promise to be honest with you guys, whether its good news or bad and I hope you appreciate that even on the bad news days.

So the scale probably wont be down this week. In fact, it will probably be up. That doesn't mean I won't reach my 195 goal by my birthday and it definitely doesn't mean I won't reach my goal weight. It also doesn't make me a failure or any of the things I let it make me feel at times. It just means that this week I gained and that is that - the scale (and my bad week) can suck it. I'm still going to keep on keepin on.

I am sorry to be the downer tonight but its just the way it is... spreading my blah apparently haha. but to be fair - i warned you!! Im still trying and that's better than nothing :) Im really trying to be well behaved and on track before I leave for my vacation next Saturday..and in general haha.

I want to go feeling in control, strong, focused and of course, slimmer ;) haha. I want to feel those things not just because they feel great but feeling those things usually brings MORE success. I want to go to Cuba feeling like I cannot let myself down and eat like shit while im there, it is NOT an excuse to gain weight! My mother is amazing proof it is possible. On her Disney Cruise(hello awesome food) and road trip across the USA (hello fast food and shitty options for car treats) she maintained her weight. 2 weeks of travel an she maintained. HOW FUCKING HUGE OF A ROCKSTAR IS SHE? She inspires me. I want to maintain while I am in Cuba.. that would be amazing.

Anyways. It feels good to get this off my chest. I'm sorry that I am a roller coaster but I promise that.. in the end this crazy ride will have crazy awesome results and be worth it. :) One day at a time.. one week at a time. Eventually it will all come together and I will get things right. For now..I'm pretty proud of how far I have come and I need to focus on that. :)

love to you all,
bailey. xx

Monday, April 9

195 Challenge : Week 2 Results

Hello Friends! How was your Easter weekend? Mine was so nice. I'm headed back to Truro at the crack of dawn tomorrow but I am happy to have had a weekend at home with friends, family and banana splits..but more on that later ;)

Week 2 of the 195 Challenge has come to an end - 7 weeks to go! I had a good week! I had some awesome fitness victories, like doing 30 burpees in one day ( i fucking hate burpees and they hate me) and running my longest distance yet - over 7km. Interested? Read more about that adventure here. I ended up being busy and lazy and not doing as many work outs and work out challenges as I wanted to and should have, I won't lie about it.

I also won't lie about the mini eggs, banana split, chips, hot dogs, cake, fruity alcoholic beverages, ham dinner, apple crisp and ice cream I indulged in over this 5 day weekend. yeah, thats right. With Easter dinner, birthdays and my sugar fast ending I definitely over indulged. Was it smart? Probably not but I don't regret it and it could have been worse. I'm not condoning it but I recognize it, I'm owning it and I'm planning on having a really great week this week.

The first two weeks have been really good.. great? Maybe not.The first week I lost three pounds, and this week my loss was 1.2! I'm really happy with that number. It could have been better though. I planned on kicking ass this week and while I had some really great victories, I didn't do as best as I could. I want to have a week where I really give it my ALL. This week? Sure!

How will I make this an amazing week? First of all, I need to get rid of the munchies! No more treats this week. I plan to have a really CLEAN eating week - lots of fruits, veggies, protein and lean meat. I want my metabolism to be like "WTF?" and drop some seriously pound-age. I want to get moving every single day - a few runs and good walks on my off days. Today was a bust but I am vowing right now to work hard every day!

My goal this week is to lose 2.8lbs. I know that's shooting big after 2 losses in a row but consistent losses every week DO exist, I just haven't been having them. I'm at 208.8 right now which means I still want to lose just over 60lbs - I should be able to have decent losses each week. A 1.2lb loss after a 3lb loss is great and I think I can have another big loss this week (to me 3lbs is big), I really do.

I need to flush my body of the weekend crap and work my ass off. I can so do this! I will be happy with a .5 loss but I really think I am capable of the 2.8 I want and if I'm capable then I want to do achieve it. What do you guys think? Am I shooting too high or do I have this in the bag if I give it my all?

I will leave you with a picture of my delicious banana split. I feel awesome about how long I went without sugar but damn this was awesome! I'm definitely going to keep my sugar intake down but Im glad to be done the fast. :)

Big Love,

Saturday, April 7

Easter : Before + After

First of all, Happy Easter to all. Whether you are celebrating or for religious reasons or for the chocolate - I hope you enjoy your weekend. I mostly just wanted to post a before/after photo. Yesterday I felt bloated and nasty and fat and like I was 250lbs all over again. When I feel that way I drink lots of water and look at fat pictures of me. I decided to post a before/after of Last Easter compared to this Easter.

Last Easter I was in beautiful Costa Rica with Tamara traveling around and enjoying the hot whether. I remember scrambling for liquor because a)we weren't having Easter Dinner with our families so clearly we needed to spend the weekend drinking with new friends and b) in Costa Rica they take the "Holly Week (see picture)" pretty seriously and by seriously I mean it's illegal to sell liquor.
HAHAH. Still gets me. I'd say they drank all the liquor before making this sign and THATS the real reason we can't buy any for the weekend.

But that's not the point of this post. I was looking through pictures and decided to take some pictures of this year around this time to compare. I don't know if other people see differences but I do and that keeps me happy. Other people don't need to see it for me to see it and feel good about it aha.

Not only do I see the difference but I feel it. I feel stronger, lighter, faster, prettier, sexier, smarter.. I feel like a better person, a better version of Bailey. That whole trip made me learn a lot about myself and life and this journey of weight loss and self love has taught me even more. I am not perfect and I still have a lot of work to do inside and out but when I notice changes with my self esteem and my self worth I am truly thankful! I never want to go back to feeling the way I did back then, I just want to keep getting better and better :)

Happy Easter, Love Bugs!!
Big Love,

Friday, April 6


Meet Joan.
and smart.

A mother to3,
a grandmother to four,
an aunt to many,
a friend to more.

A loving wife,
a loyal friend.
Oh.. and she's my mom.
Aren't I lucky?

She's my tough voice of reason,
my biggest fan,
My soccer games,
volleyball games,
speech competitions,
singing competitions,
school concerts,
She was there.
I love her for that,
and for everything she is.
She is my biggest supporter.
She was the only one reading my blog way back when
She is still reading my blog now.
She is a huge reason I'm able to continue on my weight loss journey
She's amazing.

Anyone who knows her knows how loving and amazing and funny she is.
She is the best.
We all love you!

Today is a special day! It's my moms birthday! She is on a trip with my oldest brother right now and I am anxiously waiting her return home (I'm here for Easter Wkd!). I am so excited to give her her birthday surprise and see her for the first time in a month!!

Happy Birthday Mom!
You're the absolute best<3

Wednesday, April 4

push, push and push some more.

I posted on my Being Bailey Facebook Page that I was pooping my pants with excitement over something and that I would blog about it tonight. This is me keeping that promise! I am so excited.. seriously. Ask Maddy about the ridiculous texts.. I could barely contain my joy.

The big news which is not really big news to anyone besides myself is that I had a HUGE personal nsv tonight (non scale victory - check out my operation sexy bitch page for my nsvs from last week, i update every monday). For me, my self worth, my weightloss journey my fitness journey - it was a big deal and im ecstatic!

If you read my post Most Anything Is Possible about suprising myself and reaching my goal to run a 5k sooner than expected, you may know that my furthest jogging distance is 5.8k (nope, haven't passed it since then!). You can read for yourself but basically I was absolutely pleased and amazed by it. My longest time jogging without stopping is MAYBE 35 min at most which would be the time I did the 5.8k. When I left for my run tonight I told myself I was going to run atleast 40min and I was going to run 6k. I knew I could do it and I was excited!

I set off. I was surprised by how good I felt. I had been super excited about a 4k run I did Sunday that took the absolute life out of me. Yes, I struggled, but I like knowing I pushed myself andI hadn't ran a good distance in a while. It was a victory. Tonight I wanted to really push myself though but was surprised when the running was coming easier than Sunday.

Then I kept running, I kept pushing..and my sweet NSV happened. I ran SEVEN km - 60 mins straight!! SIXTY minutes. That is almost double my best run! I checked my time at 59 minutes and said - FUCK THAT - and I ran two more minutes. I feel SO good about this and so proud and SO motivated! Thats why im bragging, lol, Im PROUD of myself and I dont care if I sound like a braggity braggerson - I never ever thought I would be able to do this.

Remember this girl?

I do. I remember her, and I hear her and she is still here in my head sometimes telling me that I am the exact same person. She tells me that I can't do this, she tells me im incapable, she tells me I will never get my eating under control. She tells me I've never been successful and there is no reason to think its going to start now. But I know deep in my heart shes wrong.. I know it.

I will never be her again and I will never go back to thinking that i cant do anything, that I cant gain control of my life and my health and get healthy and turn my life around. I know now that i deserve to be happy and healthy even though it took me a LONG time to realize it.

I can do this. No matter what happens, no matter what gets in my way, no matter how long it takes me or how many times I feel like giving up I have it in me. Six months ago running 10 minutes was an achievement, a huge one and I am proud of that achievement still today. But now 60 mins is an achievement and Im going to keep pushing until I reach every single goal I set for myself.

I went from being 251lbs, barely able to run for two minutes to being 210lbs and running for 60 minutes. ANYTHING is possible and I am not stopping... not for a second.

big love,

Monday, April 2

195 Challenge : Week 1 Results

Today marks one week since I started the 195 Challenge to lose 18lbs before my birthday which is now 8 weeks away. I planned to work my ass off, with various weekly challenges, and lose 2lbs a week and look great in the birthday dress I plan to wear (and have wanted to look good in forever).

My first week went really well. Mon-Thurs and Sunday I exercised and ate well. I did shitty on Friday and Saturday, no exercise, I drank and then Saturday night we had late night take out. Fri was on point with eating though so it wasn't a total loss. Like I said, yesterday was good. I exercised and I spent the day trying to flush out the pizza binge from the previous night.

I was nervous about weigh in after all the pizza because I honestly felt like shit all day yesterday. There was a large, very solid food baby sitting in my belly all day long and I wasn't sure if I was gonna shake it. But by the end of the day I felt better and I got a good nights sleep.

This morning I woke up and almost forgot it was weigh in...almost. I did my regular weigh in mornign ritual (#1, #2 if im lucky and a strip down!) and hit the scale. Then I weighed myself and went about my day. The end.

Just kidding. I lost three pounds! YAY! I weighed in at 210. I was super happy with that number. The plan is to do 2lbs a week and considering I may have a week where I only lose 1, dont lose at all or gain, its nice to know that I did 3 this week. The thing is though, that I could have an even better week. I wasn't on track all week, I ate pizza and chips and there were days I didnt work out.

So whats the plan this week? I'm going to do even better and have another good loss. I can do this! Challenge for week 2? Do the Kick Ass April Calendar on top of all other work outs I do (which i plan to do EVERY single day this week, no day off until Monday when I am traveling back home after Easter). I will be doing the whole calendar but I will use it as my challenge just for the first week and next week I will have a new challenge as planned! I encourage you to do it with me. It's all about the low body.. kick "ass", get it? lol Here is the pin :

For this week Im changing it up a bit. Instead of regular squats I'm going to do butterfly squats. Unfamiliar with a butterfly squat? That might be because its not the correct name ha. Basically when I come back up from the squat I'm going to jump in the air and look like a star, haha. Sounds silly but they're effective. For the wall sits Im doing 30 seconds every day and for the burpees I've decided to start out doing 10 each instead of going by seconds. I'm going to focus on form and improvement (I will be upping the reps by 2 each day this week) because in 30 seconds I could probably only do 5 burpees with good form. They are hard for me so I'd rather 10 well executed burpees in two minutes than 5 (probably shitty) burpees in 30 seconds.

Anyways, thats last week and the plan for this week :) Today, even though I felt like rewarding myself for the loss aha, I have been on track and had a really good work out. I ran 4k - yay! I've always wanted to do a "sweaty post work out pic" like my fellow work out bloggers but I usually look like such shit and its not even appropriate to post pictures of it to my site. Also, Im usually in pain and the last thing on my mind is grabbing a camera and documenting it!

But today was different. I got home, I was sweaty and in pain and I thought.. you just ran 4k. You were in pain, you kept trucking through and you kicked some pavements ass today. Savor it, be proud.. and take a picture of your sweaty face to blog about. I can look back when I am running 10ks and think "that's where i came from".

The thing I like about this picture is I can really see a different in my face. I can't wait to have a normal sized head.. its exciting haha. Even though the face above is sweaty and nasty and make upless and pale and my hair is out of control..I still prefer it! Here is a picture of my face a few years back - SO chubby!

But progress is progress and Im proud!

So wish me luck for week 2, I definitely wish you luck if you need it as well. I know some people are challenging themselves along with me so make sure to let me know how ya'll are doing. :) Thanks for the support on the first post I did about this challenge - I appreciate it as always :)

Big Love
Bail xo

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