Monday, December 31

out with the old, in with the new.

Last year my resolutions were as follows :

Reach goal weight
Get Into Better Shape
Run More
Build confidence/Self Love
Write often.
Move Off The Island
Look into Post Secondary Education

The things I accomplished were in red - I did get into better shape and run more but I also got out of shape again and ran never by the end of the year. Good job Bail. I lost a bit of weight but have now gained back half my weight so that fucking sucks but 2013 is my year people. FO RILL. I managed to move off the island, not once, but twice, I wrote often and I traveled to two new countries : Cuba and Mexico. As far as loving myself and building confidence, I think I worked on things but I have a long ways to go. Same for Post Secondary to be honest - I toyed with it but no real commitments.

I also completed some of my 30 before 30 goals this year! I had a serious relationship, I lost my virginity, I traveled 2 new countries (I'm 9/30), I flew first class, wore a bikini and I have read 26 of the 150 books I want to read before I turn 30 - sweet!

I'm going to link up with Jessica at Fantastically Average for her weekly Link up 5 for 5 (it is all about setting goals) for this weeks special edition called 5 for 2013 - my five main goals for the coming year. I'm totally with people who say resolutions are bogus but it's great to have drive and determinaton to complete something or achieve something and everyone should at least set the goals. The fact that I accomplished any of my 2012 resolutions strikes me as amazing!

1. I want to figure my shit out. For real. I mean.. not my life but I would love to decide some sort of career path I'm at least interested in and take some steps towards doing what I need to do to get to that point. I'm just SO pathless it's scary.
2. Get my health back on track - get back into shape, eat cleanly and get to goal. I would like to be at goal by the end of the year but even 75% of the way would be amazing.
3. Work in my relationship with myself and my relationship with Mark. I believe that by improving either, it helps improve the other.
4. I would love to get published in some small way this year. I know thats shooting high and I was liek "whoa, im getting ahead of myself" but.. it's okay to not achieve the goal. Its not okay to not even try. So I'm adding it to the list.
5. I want to cross the pond this year. I've never traveled anywhere outside of the americas and it's about that time!

What's your biggest resolution this year? Let me know! :)

Happy New Years, guys! It's gonna be a good one - I just know it.
Big Love,

Sunday, December 30


I haven't done Sunday Social in a while so I thought I'd participate this snowy sunday. You can also check out my 2012 Recap !

1. What is the best NYE you've ever had?
A couple years ago a group of friends and I went to Fredericton to celebrate. There were quite a few Grand Manan'ers and we pre-drank at a friends apartment then headed to Nicky Zees to make it a real classy NYE. My friends and I were the first to hit the dance floor around 10. "First one on the floor - you know thats me, bustin out the moves likes its mtv.". That's Aaron Carter for those of you who live under rocks. I didn't stop dancing at all that night - the bar was open later to celebrate and I'm pretty sure it was a solid 5 hours of dancing. I had a blast!

NYE 2011/12 I was very fat.

2. Are you doing anything for NYE this year? If so, what?
Well I'm cat sitting for a couple people so I'm stuck on Grand Manan for NYE. Let's just say it's not my first choice (or my 2nd through 10th) but I'm going to play with the hand I was dealt. I just plan to get so drunk I don't remember how awful it was and just get weird with some friends. I have left over liquor and Mom bought me a cute skirt for Christmas so I might as well get my freak on if it's not gonna cost me anything.

3. Name a book we should all read come January
Okay, I read Book of Negroes months ago but it's still a favorite. I think everyone should read it - everyone!

Source: via Caitlin on Pinterest

4. What are your New Years resolutions?
Well I should really do the typical post on this, which I might, but basically I want to figure more of my shit out, get to goal weight and work on my relationship with the Moo bear.

By the way - A very Happy Anniversary to my Moo bear - it's been a whole year and it's been a rough one with lots of ups and downs but I'm just as happy today to be his as I was a year ago. I love him so much and missing him hurts something awful. If I've learned anything in 2012 it's that relationships aren't ever easy, no matter how much you love someone. But sometimes they just might be worth the fight.

the goofball and I the first week we met. i love you!

What are your plans for nye??

Big Love,

Saturday, December 29

that time i lost my virginity.

I toyed with writing about this but it didn't take me long to decide that I would. You guys all knew I was a virgin for the most part, I'm open in my real life and on my blog, and you also now know that I have a boyfriend of almost a year (our anniversary is tomorrow!) Sex is a part of life and I write about my life so I don't see why I shouldn't speak up about my sex life (not in personal detail of course, out of respect for my moo). If anything, I want this blog post to be a message to girls who are unsure about how to go about losing their virginity and proof that it's totally okay to wait until you're ready.

I've never been shy about the fact that I was a virgin and that I was waiting for the right guy and the right time in my life to lose my virginity. I was always "behind" in that way. I certainly liked boys from a young age - my ever thriving crush on Luke Morrow started when I was six and I probably had about 30 different crushes by the time I reached high school. At that point I definitely thought about sex but I always knew I wasn't ready in any of the ways you can be ready.

I was one of the last ones to get my period, I was at the ripe ole age of 17 when I had my first kiss and 20 when I had my first real boyfriend. It made a lot of good sense that I would be the last one of my friends to lose my virginity and I was and it never bothered me ever. I felt totally comfortable with my decision right up until I decided to not be a virgin anymore and at that point, I was even more comfortable with it.

I always wanted to give my virginity to someone who loved me, who I was comfortable with, my best friend and of course, someone who I was seriously sexually attracted to. With Mark, all of those boxes were checked. I told him I wanted to have sex about 3 weeks after I got to California and I think he was more hesitant than I was, haha. After a few days of talking about it we actually did it and it was as realistically perfect as it could be.

I knew that losing my virginity wasn't going to be rose petals, candle light and Mark whispering sweet nothings into my ear and I think that that helped. Keeping sex on a pedestal can totally set you up for disappointment. Sex for the first time was painful, and weirdly intimate and knowing that it wasn't going to be this perfect experience ending in complete Ecstasy was great. Knowing that I was losing my virginity to this guy who loves me who I am endlessly comfortable with was perfect to me - I have no moments of regret even on rough days with Mark. Even when Mark and I thought we would break up, I knew I had made the right choice.

My advice to girls about sex is do it for you. Do it on your own terms. If you want to lose it during a one night stand with the sexy guy at the bar - go ahead. If you want to lose it to your high school sweet heart on valentines day, do it. If you want to wait for marriage - all the power to you. Do what works for you. We are all unique human beings with varying desires and thoughts on sexuality and our sexuality is our own - so don't let society or friends or anyone alter how you feel about sex. All decisions about your sexuality and what you do with it are up to you.

My last thoughts on this are that.. sex is great! I don't wish I had been doing it all along, since Mark wasn't a part of my life all along, but I'm definitely glad I am now a part of the population that participates in such fun. Sex with mark is larger than life if you catch my drift ;) (sorry, mom). I tried my best to not be crude writing this post - I think talking about sex on this platform, where lots of people who know me will be reading, is probably risque enough. But you know me - I suck at censoring myself!!

So now you know. :)
Big Love,

Thursday, December 27

Spoiled Rotten : Christmas Haul 2012

This Christmas was crutty - crazy and nutty. Christmas Eve had the family down in the dumps when Rusty, my 4 year old nephew, was admitted to the hospital with a pending Whooping Cough or Pneumonia diagnosis. I'm not sure what everyone else was thinking but I just felt like Christmas wasn't going to be complete without Rusty.

The tree on Christmas Eve
On Christmas morning I woke up and my father was up at the hospital with Rusty so that my brother Jer and his wife Robin could be here to watch the other 3 kiddos open presents. I was thankful they would be able to but I was selfishly sad for myself - it would be my first Christmas without my father around. We were about to start doing Christmas when we found out Rusty was going to be released - a Christmas miracle in my opinion.

We patiently waited for Rusty to get home and the madness began. 2 year old twins, an ill 4 year old, an almost 8 year old and 6 adults in my tiny living room - it was wild. There was barely enough arm space to open your presents and keeping track of what was what and who's wasn't easy but we made it through and it was a great Christmas. I was spoiled rotten.. like.. so bad.

The twins on lock down on Xmas morning.
I broke down my haul into 6 groups : bath, beauty, clothing, home, books and gift cards. Spoiled.

1. Body Shop Body Butter in Japanese Cherry Blossom 2. A big ole pink body loofa 3. Watermelon Deodorant 4. Kleenex 5. Red Loofa 6. Body Shop Tea Tree Toner 7. Edward Beale Moroccan Gloss Argan Oil Condition - Maximum Volume 8. Blistex 7. Spa Breeze Razors 8. Body Shop Body Set In Vanilla Bliss (Thanks Debs!) 9. Exfoliating Soap 10. Body Shop Seaweed Pore-Cleansing Facial Exfoliator 10. Body Shop Seaweed Deep Cleansing Facial Wash
Not pictured : Body Shop Body Butter in Satsuma (Thanks Nat!)

                                                                        BEAUTY (& SCENTS)
1. La Senza Body Kiss Double Mist in Goddess Nectar 2. Poppy by Coach (if you read my wish list you know I was dying to get this! thanks mama!) 3. Body Shop Baked-to-Last Bronzer 4. Peace, Love and Juicy Couture by Juicy Couture 5. Angel Wings, With Love and Pizazz by OPI
Not Pictured : Body Shop Vanilla Body Mist, Paint My Moji-toes Red by Opi (Thx Cass!)

1. Nine West Moccasins 2. Old Navy Plaid Pjs 3. Old Navy Sequined Tank 4. Aerie Slippers 5. Old navy Tee 6. Decree Tee 7. Old Navy Scarf and Mitts 8. TOMS 9. Decree Tye Dye Skirt (which I died over - my mom picked it out! Go Joan!) 10. Custom Tshirt with my blog on it!!! 11. Nine West Clutch 12. AE Skirt (Thx Court - I love it!)
Not Pictured : Old Navy Black Jeans & Old Navy Jungle Kitty Pajama Bottoms
1. The liquor didn't have a category. I will probably drink it in a home. 2. Quote Sign - I use part of this quote on my header of this blog - it was the perfect gift, thanks Robin+Jer 3.Scentsy Plug in 4.Scentsy Scents in Blueberry Cheesecake, Mochadoodle, Vanilla Cream and Black Raspberry Vanilla 5. Tea Lights in Hazelnut Cream 6. Homemade dish Cloths knitted by a friends mother - love them!  
Not Pictured : A bad ass blender. Can't wait to get some smoothies poppin in that baby in the New Year (because my stomach literally cannot handle any more solid food by now).

Everything is there so I won't list them all. The Thought A Day is actually a really awesome journal. I don't have the patience to write a journal entry often but this is a thought a day journal for five years where I can jot down just some random thought or activity from the day. I was so happy to receive this - thanks again Mama Joan!
Not Pictured: She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb

Old Navy, Boston Pizza, American Eagle, La Senza, H&M, Walmart and Amazon. YAY.

But the best Christmas present of all? Living past December.21st
I kidd, I kidd. Clearly all this time with family and friends has been great! After two months away and as long as six months away from certain special someones, it has been lovely to be comfy at home with lots of company. Here's a little Christmas Lovin Collection for ya'll.
The Twins and I! (my niece and nephew - Max and Mollie)
Cuzzin Lovin'
The Rents and I.. glad everyone is looking. I almost looked then my eyes started closing apparently.
Mollie girl and I.
Tam and I ready for some Christmas party action.

W/Tam and Maddy at Ashleys Christmas party. I look gorgeous.

What are your favorite part of Christmas 2012? What was your favorite gift?

Let me know how your holiday went. xo

Big Love,

Sunday, December 23

a year for the books.

I'm not sure how I feel about 2012. Sometimes I feel like I did nothing, sometimes I feel like I did everything. It's a battle : do I feel sad about the fact that I'm ending the year with no plan, no education and no job or do I feel happy about all the new experiences, travels, adventures, fun and personal growth of 2012? Like many situations in my life right now I feel torn between opposing emotions and how I'm suppose to feel. Let's look back.


  • An uneventful NYE spent on Grand Manan. Never a good idea.
  • A road trip to Prince Edward Island w/ Madeleine to see Tamara.
  • I started in on my first real relationship!
NYE w/ Maddy

  • Being Bailey J got a facebook page
  • I had my first Valentines Day in a relationship. It was shit - I was keeping the relationship a secret, he was 5500mi away and he forgot to say Happy Valentines Day. Oh well!
  • I put in my two weeks (that turned into 4) notice at Harbour Gifts 
  • I decided to up and move to Truro, Nova Scotia 
  • I hit my lowest recorded weight at the time - 211lbs
  • I gave up sugar for lent - ERMAGERD - difficult!
An after pic when mom and I had lostover 70lbs altogether.

  • I made the move to Truro - my first move all by myself.
  • I had my first experiences paying for rent and looking for a job in a town other than home.
  • KONY 2012 came out and rocked my world.
  • I finally was able to eat sugar again. Seriously big deal.
  • Took my first trip to Halifax
  • Spent a week in Cuba with Court
  • Landed a job at Chapters

Court and I in Cuba

  • I decided to move back to Grand Manan (because staying somewhere for more than 2 months would cramp my style)
  • I was hired at Gallaways Restaurant
  • I turned 21
my 21st birthday party.

  • "Swag Dubs" - when my friends and I chartered a flight just to be able to go party somewhere else.. 25 minutes after the ferry left.
  • The start of my summer of hardcore working.

  • Work workity work!
  • A road trip to Fredericton for Als birthday with the ladies
  • The Big Small fam comes for a visit! 
  • Even more work! I had 3 jobs and I was housesitting on the side.
  • Social life? What social life?
  • There was that one time I went to a party.... should've just stayed home judging by that barrel of vodka.

September :

  • Heartbreak. I found out Mark cheated on me. I know, I never wrote about that here except to say I was going through a hard time. Mark was still a secret but it was definitely hard. One of the hardest things I've ever had to heal from.
  • I bought my ticket to Sacremento after the Universe told me to go when I found the cheapest ticket ever.
  • Spent a fun weekend in Fredericton w/ my awesome friends for the First Class Bash.
  • Maddy and I at FCB


  • I quit my job at Gallaways
  • Went to the Tila Tequila "concert" with my biffs as a leaving party.
  • Flew to California to meet my internet boyfriend.
  • Met my Internet boyfriend and fell back in love.
  • Began a sort of life in West Sacramento, California
  • Tried Sushi for the first time.
Maddy, al and I with Tila Tequila. RIDIC.
  • Faced my first relationship woes. Real life ain't easy either.
  • Lost my virginity (another fun fact I haven't told you guys! You will deff get a post about this, dont you worry!)
  • Flew to San Diego
  • Tried Taco Bell, In-n-Out, Wienerschniztel! Mmmmm!
  • Visited Target for the first time - awesome!!

Took a weekend trip to Mexico w/ Martha
Went out in Tijuana and Ensanada - holy fun.
Faced my first real break up (which didn't end up happening.. love is cwazy.)
Said the hardest goodbye I've ever said.
Came home for Christmas

And now it's Christmas! And it's a jolly one! As I type, my family is on their way here, just getting off the ferry actually. We are all together for the first time in 7 years and I am just so ecstatic. I am missing my moo but we are doing well - I am very in love but unsure where our relationship is headed.

It's been quite the year - from quitting my job, moving to truro, coming home, moving ot Sacremento for a guy I'd never met to struggling with some really heavy issues... 2012 was definiely interesting and I expect 2013 to be as well but more in a positive way. I plan to lose the rest of this weight, have a better relationship with myself and with Mark as well. Hopefully I will figure out a bit of my shit along the way as well.

For now I'm going to enjoy my holiday with my family and friends. This is what it's all about.

Happy Holidays +Merry Christmas to you guys - I love you all so much and have appreciated the love and support you have given me this year.. it's unbelievable. I'll be talking with you soon.

Big Love,

Friday, December 21

apocalypse to-do list

If I actually believed that this was my last week on earth there are clearly a few things I would get done and a few things I wouldn't have bothered with.
  • I would spend my last moneys to fly Moo to me - I miss him so very much.
  • I would never have bought Christmas presents!
  • I would tell a lot of people where to go and how to get there because they prob would be headed that way shortly.
  • I'd feel no shame for eating massive amounts of food. I still eat massive amounts of food but there is a bit of shame involved.
  • I would attempt to do a cart wheel because I've never done one and if I hurt myself it's like -- meh. I'm gonna die.
  • I would get my DANCE on. I would shake my booty in every direction. Dancing makes me so happy and feel so free.
  • I honestly would probably break some shit. Maybe do a bit of vandalism.
  • I wouldn't shower or do anything silly and time wasting like that.
  • I would buy a lion and maybe a Beluga whale.
  • I would get a wild and crazy tattoo such as "Marks Bitch" on my ass or "this is my face" written on my forehead. Just for apocalypse kicks.

On the real, I WOULD fly Mark here and I would spend the time I have left appreciating my family, my friends and the blessings this life has brought me. Although I do not wish for the world to end, I have to say - I've had a pretty cool life so far and there isn't much I would change given the chance. I do have a lot to be thankful for and I am totally psyched about some of the things I have done and experienced - I know I'm very lucky.

On an evening where so many are hurting in my community after an accident, and so shortly after the horrible tragedy in Conneticut it really makes you appreciate the ones you love. Sometimes I feel sad that it takes accidents to make me feel that intense love for people - I should remind myself more often to soak up my wonderful life and all these amazing people that are in it - whether there is an apocalypse approaching or not.

Have a good day everyone - because if you live through it, it's a good one.
Talk to you Saturday....maybe.
Big Love,

Wednesday, December 19

lets just get real for a sec.

I have a confession to make. You guys are going to be like "DUH!" but here it is. I've been a shitty blogger. The reason I've been a shitty blogger is because I've been a confused person and the reason I've been a confused person is because life is so fucking complicated.

As you probably know if you are a real life acquaintance or read my blog regularly I moved to California two months ago to pursue a real life relationship with the love of my life.. who I met on the internet. Yeah. Crazy. I know. Since then my life has been in a state of confusion and new things and.. just blurry. I never really know how I'm feeling, how long it will last or how to be honest with myself about how I feel. The problem with having a blog where I talk about everything is that its hard to know what to say and be honest about it when you really don't know the truth about how you feel.. its even confusing to fucking explain!

I have rarely talked about my relationship on here. I can tell you two things. 1) It was not the perfect trip and we are not the perfect couple. 2) I love that guy a million times over and I'm so glad I spent the last 2 months experiencing so many new things.

I've debated on whether to talk about my relationship on here, the ups and downs and whats happening next. It's complicated because I've always been honest about my life - weight loss, travel, self love, whatever but the hard part is that I'm always failing at shit and I have to let people down. I dont want to let people down if my outcome with Mark isn't what they wanted. I need to remember it's about Mark and I though and that you guys are the awesome supporters along for the ride and I know deep down you guys all rock and support me either way. It's just hard. I will never be perfect but sometimes I would like to be for you guys.

I will let you in on some Mark and Bailey stuff though. First of all - I thought you guys might wanna see some cuteness. Aside from the fact that Maddy thinks we look alike and that freaks me out - I think we're pretty darn adorable.

Meeting Mark was one of the best choices I ever made. I believe all love is special and our love is no exception. He's my best friend and the times we so awesome. I miss him already and it hasn't even been 48 hours. I feel an emptiness that I'm afraid will never go away. He is a part of me and I am definitely struggling with being away from him. I mean..look at that face, hes fucking adorable.

That being said we definitely struggled. I missed my friends, he was busy with school and that sent me into some pretty lonely and sad states. When I get sad, I shut down. I shut down, he feels lonely, we feel distance, we fight. It was hard. Before going we had our issues and I knew it wouldn't be easy but I didn't quite realize the battles I would have to face. There were some dark days for me. Thankfully, there were some awfully bright days as well.

I always felt stifled while writing out there. I didn't know what I was feeling so how was I suppose to share it? I didnt feel like a fake as I wrote the blogs because I was always being honest but I was also hiding the parts of my life that were sad and hard for me to face - like when I felt alone and stranded and helpless. I didn't want to write if Mark and I had a bad day because I didn't want to make Mark out to be a monster or to make myself out to be an unstable emotional bomb! At the same time I wasn't going to write blog after blog about some perfect life full of sunshines and rainbows because having a boyfriend and being in love doesn't turn your life into that.. it just doesnt.

I just want you guys to know a bit more and hopefully understand why I have been a little distanced from this blog lately. Every time I signed on and noticed I hadn't written in four days and that I didn't even have the desire to I felt sad because this blog is SO important to me. I just don't want to write angry, hasty things but I want to be REAL as well. And I guess this is me being real.

As far as updates go Mark and I are still together. Last weekend was rough, we had an issue and I finally got some things off my chest and so did he and I think it really helped us. I felt so much weight rise off my shoulders and while we decided to break up after I left, I felt a sense of relief after our blow out.

We spent the rest of the week with very few arguments and so many good times. Things were more open and we made apologies for things that needed to be apologized for. We spent more time together, enjoyed each others company, went on outings and honestly showed each other so much love. It was a reminder of why I was there.. because Mark is my love.

So now I don't know where we stand. Things don't change overnight and I'm not sure what needs to change to make us work better or if it's better for us to be apart. We have decided to just wait it out - no break up, we will see how things are in a couple weeks. After leaving I realized how empty I feel without him.. it's like my heart is in another place and it gives me a different perspective. It's hard - how do I know what is right? How do I know what is best for both of us? I guess I will find out.

Relationships are hard. This is my first relationship ever and it was quite a doozy to throw myself into! But if given the chance I would do it again.. it has been the most amazing experience. I have learned so much about myself as a person, as a woman, as a girlfriend. I have tried so many new things. I have experienced a deep love and friendshi with someone that I have never experienced anything like.. that is special and to be appreciated.

Right now I am going to enjoy my holiday and continue to be thankful for everything especially for you guys - for being here with my through thick and thin!

Happy Holidays and I'll be talking to you again soon.
big love,
Bailey J

Friday, December 14

furbies? come again?

I, for one, cannot believe Furbies are back in! I remember my brother got me a furbie for my birthday when I was really young -maybe 7 or 8. I remember his friend asking him if I liked my furbie before I even opened it too.. thanks, dude.

Source: via Angie on Pinterest

They seem like such a retro toy to me.. I can't believe they are back. Now that I am old enough to know better I find them more creepy than I did as a child. I know some of the adults reading this are thinking "you're still a kid.." but the scary truth is that so many of these toys were popular over 10 years ago. That's a decent amount of time. Alas, the creepy factor of furbies or my aging is not my blog topic, its my inspiration. Seeing the furbies and all the other Christmas toys at walmart and around the internet got me thinking about all the stupid toys and obsessions we had in my generation.

One that got me laughing were the lasers. Do you remember that fellow 90s kids? All the boys had a laser and you weren't cool unless you whipped it out at a school assembly when the lights were off or in class. Maybe you  made your cat chase it around the house..maybe not. Eventually, like most toys (along with smiles, laughter and dodgeball), lasers were banned at GMCS im quite sure. You were a BAD ASS MOTHA FUCKA if you were shining your laser after the ban. Power to the students.

Another "trend" we'll call it-as it wasn't an official toy-that was banned at GMCS were rubber band balls. I feel confident this trend was actually started by Sable or Annie or someone similarly creative and odd (i mean that with love). This got pretty popular considering what it is - students would go across the street to the dollar store, buy a package of rubber bands and get started. You can learn how to make one here.

Im quite sure I never jumped on that "band"wagon - see what i did there?- but one thing I was crazy over were virtual pets, think Tamagotchi, nanos, gigapets, etc. I think my love of furbies, virtual pets and eventually neopets stems from a deep depression of never having a real pet - thanks mom. Either way - fookin' loved these things!

I was also big into the spice girls and you wanna know I chased after the whole collection of Spice Girls sticker gum! Remember those? The pieces of gum that came with a sticker of one of the spice girls posing, a headshot or the whole gang on them. Golden. I remember Rachels old dresser being covered in the stickers. Im pretty sure there were lollipops too. Loved it. It wasn't a trip to Vernes unless I got to get a piece of Spice Girls gum. I was never allowed to get Pokemon cards over rated trend from my day.

I also constantly wished I had a pair of Spice Girls inspired platforms like these babies. Thank god that didn't happen.

The trend I'm hoping didn't hit other schools were fuzzy dinks. Let me explain. In grade seven our class was a bit odd.....we were always a bit odd. Let me preface this by saying that in Gr.5 for our graduation section in the yearbook, the most popular favorite song was Ride Wit Me by Nelly. Yeah. We were THAT class. Anyway - dinky cars became popular within my grade 7 class. Yes, we were maybe getting a little too old and it may surprise you to know that a lot of the girls were super into it - of course, Diana was one of them. If I'm not mistaken it was Diana who decided to start decoarting her dinky car with feathers and The Fuzzy Dink was born. Weird kids. So wish I had a picture!

I had a crazy amount of love for Sky Dancers. I had a shit ton of barbies but barbies couldn't fly so they were useless. I remember setting my Sky Dancer off and just waiting for that one time shed stay up there and keep sky dancing. I think I wanted to fly more than anything as a kid - I had dreams about it so often. Life goal : be a sky dancer.

Source: via Leanne on Pinterest

Here are a few more items sure to punch you in the stomach with nostalgia. What 12 year old girl DIDNT mash?? Pretty sure I dedicated a few months of my life to it. I WILL get *insert crush of the week here*'s for a husband and we WILL live in a mansion in Florida.

Source: via Rachel on Pinterest

LOLOL - does anyone else remember these finger balancing birds? I so do.

Oh 90s/early 2000.... You are ridiculous.

I could go on forever with this, seriously. The toys are so funny and I love looking back on those years but I also should keep this at a decent length.

I hope you guys have all had a smile remembering our games and antics of the past. In my opinion, that's exactly where these toys, ESPECIALLY furbies, should stay but.. its apparently too late. Awe well.

What was your favorite toy as a child?

Big Love,

Thursday, December 13

an unplanned thank you.

I planned to post a blog about all the toys I remember from my childhood today but I have something on my heart that I needed to write and post asap. Stay tuned tomorrow for the previously mentioned post - it will definitely take you back.

I just wanted to send out a thank you to everyone who has ever helped me in any way. Whether you are a life long friend who has been there for me, a high school acquaintance who has gone to the bathroom with me at a party, the mother of a friend who has shown interest in my life, someone I have worked with, traveled with, played a sport with.. if you have ever helped me, or been there for thank you.

While chatting with my best friend Maddy today I just realized how fucked up I would be without the support I have in my life - great friends, family and even an amazing support system through blogging and myfitnesspal. I struggle from time to time with my self worth and my self image and I get into some pretty dark places. If I didn't have all the support I do sometimes I wonder what would become of me.

To everyone person who has lifted me up, told me I was beautiful, made me smile, hung out with me, wrote on my facebook wall, commented on my blog, made me feel included.. to anyone who has thrust positivity into my life - I thank you so much.

This world is sometimes scary. It's scary, cruel, and complicated. I have learned though, that by choosing to surround myself with people like you, that life can be pretty great and even the darkest corners can have light shone into them. Thank you for putting joy and hope into my life. I love you all and hope you all have an amazing holiday.

big love,

michelle obama says it best.

Saturday, December 8


It's time for another Christmas post. I'm getting so excited! Mark and I are going to have our Christmas next weekend and then it's home for Christmas with my family. I'm getting so excited to see everyone at home and all my family that is coming from the mainland. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it here but not only will it be the first Christmas with ALL my family in the same place in forever but it will be the first time in general that we have all been together in some crazy amount of time. Its been so long that I honestly have no idea how best guess is over 7 years but I could be wrong. Joan? What say you?

Anyways. Bailey the Christmas Fairy has been decorating and preparing around here for a few weeks now and I'm loving having a bit of cheer in the house. Mark wouldn't totally admit it but I"m pretty sure he loves it too. I put together a little collage of our Christmas Casa.

 I'm totally late on updating about this but this season I was involved in an Ornament Swap at Living In Yellow. First came choosing ornaments for my recipient - Cassie at The Walter Life. The thing I really notice and admire about Cassie is that her kids are her EVERYTHING. I love reading about her cuties, Stella and Henri so I wanted to send a decoration that had to do with family and of course I ended up absolutely NEEDING to buy some decorations for the kiddos. I found these on Etsy (i love etsy - but photo cred to Cassie cause I stole this pic from her blog because of ordering online) and though tthey were too cute. So I sent them and she seemed to love them which made me SO happy!

Now for the recieving! Annabelle at The Carolina Country Girl sent me the most adorable decoration!! It's this gorgeous little purpley/magenta/sparkley bird and I love the way it looks on my tree. Our decorations are just blue and silver and it just adds this POP to our little tree that I love. Unfortunately some of his feathers fell off on the travels but I love him! Thanks SO much Annabelle. Unfortunately blogger is being SO annoying and won't let me upload the picture but I DID tweet it - click here.  

I love ornaments and Christmas and the spirit and AHHH - it just makes me so happy. I am always extra cheerful this time of year.

What's your absolute most FAVORITE part of Christmas? Food? Stockings? Gifts? Decorations? Santa Clause Parade? Let me know. xx

Big Love,

Thursday, December 6

that time i gained 40lbs in mexico.

I might have to reacquaint everyone with who I am and what this blog is all about since I haven't wrote a post in a fucking week! Shit! Sorry! I'm not THAT sorry though because I've been away from a computer the whole time as I was on vacay in San Diego and Mexico. SO GREAT! I love Mexico!! But I am usually much more consistent.(In fact I wrote TWO blog posts for tonight so check THIS one out -it's all about shopping local on GM and some of your options this Holiday season! =])

I wrote last week about going to meet up with Martha, a San Diegan I met in Honduras and our trip to Mexico. It was such a fabulous trip and I'm pretty sure I gained like 15lbs because of all the food we ate. The plus side? The food was so worth it - oh my god!

I flew into San Diego on Wednesday evening. Martha picked me up at the airport - it took us FOREVER to find each other because we didn't even realize we were at different terminals - oops. We met up with Arnold, who came and traveled with Martha while I was still with her. He is hilarious and it was so nice to meet him. We went to this super yummy restaurant called The Neighborhood and caught up - it was so nice to socialize. I don't do much socializing in Sac!

Thursday Martha had to work so her roomate and sister took me out and showed me around. San Diego was really cool - palm trees every where, so much diversity, big buildings, lots going on. I really loved my time in San Diego. Michelle and Ivonne took me to try In-and-Out - a popular fast food chain here- and it was surprisingly delicious for how cheap it was! We stopped by the mall (always a favorite of mine) and a super cute Farmers Market (so tempting to buy everything!!) then made our way to Balboa Park . The park was great but the sun was setting and things were pretty much shut down. I still enjoyed the walk and got to see this gorgeous Whoville Christmas tree!! I LOVE CHRISTMAS! How adorable is this tree?

That night after Martha got off work we all went to this amazing Thai food place. I absolutely love Thai and Martha and I split some Yellow Curry and Pad Thai - mmmm! We tried again before I left but it was closed - so sad! This shit was seriously the best! On Friday Martha had to work again in the morning but we got ready and headed for Mexico friday afternoon. Before we crossed the border she took me to try Carne Asada Fries - for you Northern white folk it's like French fires with cheese and meat - the Tex Mex Poutine! It was really delicious and Im hoping Mark and I will attempt it before I leave.

San Diego is RIGHT at the border and Tijuana is right on the other side so the trip there was pretty quick.We drove straight to the mall (worst tourists ever?) and after buying some totally unnecessary Gelato for my already full belly we hit up a VIP movie theater. Not the most touristy thing I've ever done but it was great and seeing movies while in Latin America is kind of Martha and mine's thing. We saw Breaking Dawn and I absolutely loved it. The VIP experience was amazing. My own recliner and crepes? I'm fucking sold. The best part is that it was the same, even less than some regular movie theatres in the states for this awesome experience. I felt G'd up.

After the movie (which was so good and so tricky!) we went to find a hotel. We paid practically nothing for a pretty nice space and got ready to hit the town. And hit the town we did! We stayed out until 4am dancing, drinking, running away from scary boys, eatin hot dogs and having a blast. Tijuana is a ton of fun and I hope I get to visit again someday - so much fun! The next day we hit the market and I even got ot see the red light district which was mostly just sad. I didn't realize it was legal there and I couldn't believe how obvious the prostitutes were but then I was informed that they were registered sex workers and it was 100% legal - weird. Some of these girls were hella young and that made me sad but that's another topic for another day.

When walking through the town I came across the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. This little guy was such a pro - he had some pretty sweet moves and I just wanted to cry he was so adorable. Wish I could've shot some of the cuter parts (and that it was rotated) but believe me - he was so pretty freakin' adorable. I had to get a clip!

Saturday evening we headed to Ensanada where Martha is from! We took a nap when we got there because of the first night of going out so that we could have a 2nd night of going out. Ensanada was just as fun and Marthas cousin joined us which was great. Another night out until 4am and another night hugely enjoyed. Have i mentioned I love Mexico?

Sunday and Monday were spent doing tourist business! I tried some different Mexican food including some Fish Tacos (which apparently ended up being shark) and it was so yummy. We visited a winery and La Bufadora - a natural blow hole. There are only a few in the world and if you watch Survivor, I know one season they were in an area that had one of them. After I saw that I really wanted to witness one and so it was great to go there! It was a really cool experience and the place in general was gorgeous.

 I took a little video for you guys so you could experience it too. Unfortunately I didn't catch any of the big ones but there were only 3-4 big ones during our visit - they say it can just depend on the day how high the water will go and such. This gives you can idea of what it was like though!

On your way in (and again as you leave) there are lot's of little stores and shops and food places. The plus side to it being Monday was that the place was basically all ours but the down side was that a lot of the shops were closed. We definitely got some of the best ones though the first shop we passed on our way out said "Come in, we have everything, we have leather whips".. wait what?! He said this in Spanish so Martha and Armando busted up laughing and then explained to me what he had said. Umm.. no thanks! Maybe next time! The second we came across said "Come in, I have men at the back, ladies!" Well shit - we better get in there! Then, a third, possibly most creepy store owner said "Come get a treat to sweeten your mouth". It just sounded plain ole wrong.

My personal favorite place was the one selling these babies!!

So delicious! How can you beat a fresh Pina Colada right out of a pineapple? You can't. Believe me - this shit was to fucking die for. While I really wanted to spend the money on a leather whip, I'm glad I spent it on this!

That night we headed back to the border. I was a little sad to go but fun awaited us at the 2.5hr border line up. Apparently that is considered good - some people wait 4-5 hours during the busy hours. FOOK THAT. Waiting in the line for the border is an experience all it's own. Lot's of people selling food, toys and all kinds of random shit. People trying to clean your car or sing to you when they hav eshitty voices - it's a unique place for sure. I filled up on a fruit bowl and some churros - seriously.. I did not stop eating for a week straight, so bad.

Yesterday in San Diego Martha showed me a few more sites including Coronado Island where you can see a gorgeous view of the San Diego skyline - really like that city! We looked around and tried on very stylish hats - I bought one for everyone at home of course, you're welcome.

Then last night it was time to fly back to Sac. It was so great to get back and see the Moo - I really missed him. Today was spent cleaning up the apartment ( yeah, he's sorta messy), unpackin (sort of), blogging and wrapping some gifts for Mark that arrived while I was gone. And what else arrived? MY NEW LAPTOP! It's almost 9 and I still haven't used it.. I know, I'm weird.

Anyways. I'm just rambling now. I'm so happy to get you guys all caught up on my trip - it was such a blast. I hope I can visit Mexico again soon but like I said, nice to be back at home (my 2nd home anyway) with the Moo Bear. Now.. it's time to fast!

Big Love,

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