Saturday, December 29

that time i lost my virginity.

I toyed with writing about this but it didn't take me long to decide that I would. You guys all knew I was a virgin for the most part, I'm open in my real life and on my blog, and you also now know that I have a boyfriend of almost a year (our anniversary is tomorrow!) Sex is a part of life and I write about my life so I don't see why I shouldn't speak up about my sex life (not in personal detail of course, out of respect for my moo). If anything, I want this blog post to be a message to girls who are unsure about how to go about losing their virginity and proof that it's totally okay to wait until you're ready.

I've never been shy about the fact that I was a virgin and that I was waiting for the right guy and the right time in my life to lose my virginity. I was always "behind" in that way. I certainly liked boys from a young age - my ever thriving crush on Luke Morrow started when I was six and I probably had about 30 different crushes by the time I reached high school. At that point I definitely thought about sex but I always knew I wasn't ready in any of the ways you can be ready.

I was one of the last ones to get my period, I was at the ripe ole age of 17 when I had my first kiss and 20 when I had my first real boyfriend. It made a lot of good sense that I would be the last one of my friends to lose my virginity and I was and it never bothered me ever. I felt totally comfortable with my decision right up until I decided to not be a virgin anymore and at that point, I was even more comfortable with it.



I always wanted to give my virginity to someone who loved me, who I was comfortable with, my best friend and of course, someone who I was seriously sexually attracted to. With Mark, all of those boxes were checked. I told him I wanted to have sex about 3 weeks after I got to California and I think he was more hesitant than I was, haha. After a few days of talking about it we actually did it and it was as realistically perfect as it could be.

I knew that losing my virginity wasn't going to be rose petals, candle light and Mark whispering sweet nothings into my ear and I think that that helped. Keeping sex on a pedestal can totally set you up for disappointment. Sex for the first time was painful, and weirdly intimate and knowing that it wasn't going to be this perfect experience ending in complete Ecstasy was great. Knowing that I was losing my virginity to this guy who loves me who I am endlessly comfortable with was perfect to me - I have no moments of regret even on rough days with Mark. Even when Mark and I thought we would break up, I knew I had made the right choice.

My advice to girls about sex is do it for you. Do it on your own terms. If you want to lose it during a one night stand with the sexy guy at the bar - go ahead. If you want to lose it to your high school sweet heart on valentines day, do it. If you want to wait for marriage - all the power to you. Do what works for you. We are all unique human beings with varying desires and thoughts on sexuality and our sexuality is our own - so don't let society or friends or anyone alter how you feel about sex. All decisions about your sexuality and what you do with it are up to you.

My last thoughts on this are that.. sex is great! I don't wish I had been doing it all along, since Mark wasn't a part of my life all along, but I'm definitely glad I am now a part of the population that participates in such fun. Sex with mark is larger than life if you catch my drift ;) (sorry, mom). I tried my best to not be crude writing this post - I think talking about sex on this platform, where lots of people who know me will be reading, is probably risque enough. But you know me - I suck at censoring myself!!

So now you know. :)
Big Love,
Bailey.

3 comments:

  1. Wow, Bailey. I applaud your candor. It's brave to talk about this subject in public.

    You say valuable, smart things. I'm glad you found the right way to ease into sexual relations; many people make bad mistakes they regret for years.

    Great post. Happy New Year!

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  2. what a powerful post...
    i hope you know how utterly amazing you are & for all the many reasons why!

    xxoo

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  3. I think you did an amazing job of talking about something that most people deem inappropriate, or awkward. And I am right there with you on so many counts! I was one of the last of my friends to lose my virginity. My story isn't quite like yours, but I would say that I would absolutely give the same advice to young women out there about doing a lot of soul seeking before making such a big decision.

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