Tuesday, January 22

If I Were A Boy

Best link up idea ever! All us lady bloggers are joining together at Living In Yellow to say let the guys know what we would do if we were boys - Beyonce style. First of all, I'd do all the stuff Beyonce sings about - girl knows whats up. Then I would NOT name my child Blue Ivy.

Moving on.

If I were a boy I'd clearly pee everywhere, standing up, because it's amazingly convenient. Anyone who doesn't mention this amazing blessing is cray-cray. Id just go around test driving my new talent.

If I were a boy I'd eat whatever the fook I wanted. My metabolism would rock and even if I gained a few pounds, we all know it would only take me a few weeks to lose any excess weight. Cause I'd be a boy.

If I were a boy I'd spend a lot of time praying about and being thankful for not having a period. I would maybe even do some weird ritualistic spiritual offering to whichever higher power I believed in thanking him for not having been created a woman who has her period. Too far?

someecards.com - Sorry I used my brief gas cramps as a way to relate to your period

If I were a boy I would treat the women in my life like queens during their special time - tampon runs, bubble baths, chocolate fondue - you name it.

If I were a boy I'd play the players. I find girls are much more viscous when they're shitty at relationships and I'd like to really give em some of their own medicine. Boys who are shitty boyfriends just end up unhappy with shitty wives but girls who are skeezy, cheating, bitches usually just hurt nice guys and make them miserable forever... unlesssss my male alter ego shows up em what the fucks up.

If I were a boy I'd condemn my friends shitty treatment of good girls - NOT COOL, GUYS!

If I were a boy I'd manscape, do my brows and trim my arm pit hairs. Ain't nobody got time for that.

If I were a boy I'd dress like Will Smith in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. For reals. Dream style.

If you were a boy..what would you do?

Big Love,
Bailey J


  1. Omg it's like you've read my mind! Agree with everything. Especially peeing standing up haha. How are we supposed to enjoy wearing a jumpsuit when you have to take the whole thing off just to pee!?

  2. You wouldn't believe how many times I prayed to be turned into a boy.Probably until my mid-thirties! It's only in the last 10-15 years that I have really been able to appreciate being female...and that is because women are awesome creatures, and men know it!

  3. Hmmm... if I were a boy... :)

    Funny reflections. It's curious to see girls reactions to this prospect. Boys take their advantages for granted and most, sadly, are not sensitive to the hardships of being female (e.g., periods). We'd all benefit from spending a day in the other gender's heels/sneakers.

  4. ohhh will smith. why didn't i think of that?! and yes to being kind to girls!!

  5. Will Smith was IT in the 90s. Who am I kidding? He still is. And yes....girls that are players are 10x worse than guys. Ugh they deserve their medicine.

  6. Oh I forgot about being able to pee any where. I would have to add that to my list also. And I agree girl players are sometimes worse than boy players because you don't necessarily expect it from them and they just use it to take advantage of guys. You almost expect/accept boy players, and many of them are open and honest about being players, which I guess is another perk to being a boy...ha!

  7. I would totally channel will smith circa fresh prince - baller. Xo Megan, www.TfDiaries.com


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