Thursday, February 28

The Pros and Cons of Long Distance

I know that some of you may be wondering, wait, there are pros to being thousands of miles away from the one you love for super long periods of time? Yes, there are, because unless you haven't figured it out yet - men are ridiculous. There are definitely pros, and of course cons, just like every situation in life.

Source: via Irene on Pinterest

Now, background for those of you who haven't been around long or don't know me in real life. You may be wondering how long distance my relation ship is ie : have we even met? do we see each other on wkds? etc.  I've been in a long distance relationship for 14 months. The Moo (my bf) and I met on the internet in late 2010 then started dating after 15 months of chatting and generally falling in love. We didnt meet until 10 months later (2 years after 'meeting' online). I spent 2 months with him, and in March (uhh SO FUCKIN SOON) I am headed back for another 3 months. So yes, it's pretty legit long distance!

Here are some pros and cons for those of you who have never done this racket of a relationship style who are wondering how  we ever do it and for those of you who are considering entering into one. And for those of you who have been or are currently involved in a long distance relationship - you are amazing, strong and you will know what I'm talkin' about.


  • Obviously not seeing my boyfriend is a con.
  • I'm often a 3rd/5th/7th wheel and it sucks and makes me miss Moo more.
  • Our 4 hr timezone is just enough to fuck shit up sometimes.

Source: via Kerry on Pinterest

  • I no longer have someone who will wash my back for me. It's actually so sad.
  • We're used to not being together so sometimes it seems like a LOT of time together when we are.
  • Trust issues are amplified. If he was on GM, I'd just hunt him down but I can't know for sure long distance where he is unless we're on skype.
  • Falling for each other and admitting that we were to ourselves and each other was a long, torturous process because we were both afraid of what would happen if we truly fell and if it would just be heart ache. That was tough.

  • Texting/typing conflicts. Everything gets taken the wrong way and there is no kissing and hugging to make up.  
  • If we decide to break up and I'm here.. it just seems too unfinished. If we decide to break up and I'm there, I leave and here is no meeting up to talk it out.There will also be no break up sex unless its over the phone.
  • Finally having a boyfriend and still not being able to have sex. No physical intimacy is hard esp when you love someone.

  • Shits expensive. Flights, creating lives in two places.. Not cheap.
  • I never have my official plus1. This summer I get to go to my first wedding I could take a real date to and I wont be able to. The little things can suck.
  • My life is always in limbo and I always feel like I have things pulling me between two places.


  • Seeing The Moo is exciting almost every day and seeing each other for the first time is amazing.
  • You truly treasure the moments together.
  • I feel confident in our love for each other. If we didn't love each other - we wouldn't put ourselves through this.

  • The little things become bigger. Simply watching a movie is a fun, rare experience for us.
  • We know each other in a way that I believe not all couples know each other. We've spent two years talking about who we are and we know things about each other nobody else knows. That's special.
  • I have been able to salvage some of my "single for life" independence which I've always taken pride in.
  • Sex is passionate. Even after my week in Mexico, the first 24 hrs back in Sac was wicked. You have no clue how excited I am for that first few days back. Longing does great things for the sex life. Sorry, Ma.
  • Skype sleeping is actually sort of cute and before we met, it brought us together in a weird way. We seriously fall asleep together on skype all the time - like last night. Then Moo wakes me up with his sleep talking and growling.
  • I don't feel the need to shave like ever. I don't worry as much about little girly primping things so much. I've actually started to try to shave more often so I get into the flow of it because I do not regularly shave my legs

Source: via Carolyn on Pinterest

Each of these pros and cons are a part of my life that I have to deal with and whether it's a pro or a con, its a product of a relationship with a man I love. No relationship is perfect and although this has definitely been one of the most difficult things I've ever been involved in, some of the saddest feelings I've ever felt and I've been through some things I would've rather avoided - it is also a pretty rewarding part of my life. When it's worth it, you know and I love the Moo very much. I never would've met Mark on my own so this complicated mess we have found ourselves in is what we believe to be fate doing what it has to do to get us together.

I love you Mark.

Source: via Rebecca on Pinterest


Big Love,

Wednesday, February 27

Feeling like a failure.

Yeah. I'm that girl. I totally thought it was Tuesday. I'm stressing about getting things done before I leave for Sacramento, totally thought it was Tuesday, until someone let me in on the fact that it's Wednesday. I can't even believe it. My friend Tamara messaged me and asked why I hadn't posted my Weigh In Wednesday post and I thought I better get to it.

I feel like such a disappointment. I feel like I just lie to people when I tell them I'm trying and I'm working out but I'm not - I really am trying and I really am working out. To be fair to myself I weighed in at 3 in the afternoon after I had a Mocha Latte and a bowl of stew on a cafe date with a friend but still... it sucks, and I gained.

I just can't get my eating under control. I'm really hoping once I get to Cali and get back to 24 hour fitness and get into cooking my own meals and stuff I can get a good flow going. I'm hoping to try Hot Yoga there and really focus on my weight loss. The stress of being prepared for my trip and leaving my family has me stress eating for sure and I know I can shake this. I have a surprising mountain of anxiety before I travel considering how much I do so. Ask my mother - I turn into a psycho.I just need to get there, find a routine, and put my head down and focus on this weight loss thing

This week I weighed in at 230, up another 1.6lbs which is disappointed when I was seeing  a loss of 3lbs before the weekend. I was eating well and over and since the weekend I was prob eating 2000-2200 calories a day which is still lower than what I would need to maintain my weight. I feel like I have to literally starve myself to lose weight. I'm going to have to.

That's the way she goes though - you have to put in hard work to see results, like starve yourself work apparently, and even when you work your ass off, you don't always see results. I can't believe I'm back at my NY starting weight 8 weeks fucking later. In fact, I'm UP a little less than a pound from then. It's so frustrating. WHY DO I SUCK? I could seriously just lay down on the floor right now and ball my eyes out. I feel like such a failure. I'm going to show up to Marks just as fat and gross as when I left when I promised myself and him that I'd be a better version when I got back. It's very disappointing. I feel nauseous thinking about it. Why can't I just do this? I wish I could convey the amount of disappointed, failure, stress, sadness and anger I feel right now. At myself and just in general.

Will I EVER be able to lose this weight? Is it ever going to happen to me? Am I wasting my time even wishing and trying? Sometimes I wish I could just melt into a puddle and not even have to face the people who are rooting for me because I just keep letting myself and everyone down. It fucking blows.


Sunday, February 24


One of my favorite things to do when I'm home is to sit around with my friends and talk about old times. Last night Maddy, Diana and I looked at old pictures and videos and laughed our asses off. I love reminiscing in a very sad, nostalgic way. As I move into a stage in my life where the possibility of having only memories from now on with many of my friends becomes very real, I treasure the time I spend with them way more and I try to remember the fun times as much as my brain will allow. I don't know what my future brings but I'm so thankful for a past full of awesome friends and a lot of fun.

In honor of that, I'm linking up with Sunday Social to get all nostalgic on your asses. To get a bit more into my childhood/teenager head you can read my Letters To Teenage Me, My 90s Toy blast from the past post,  Kicking It Old School about Middle school (another sunday social post, in fact) and many of the other posts about the past I've written. Just writing this intro has made me realize we focus WAY too much on the past but fuck it - I've had a pretty good one.

1. Biggest Middle School Fashion Mistake : What WASN'T a fashion mistake in middle school OR high school for me? Nothing I did was in style but I was super comfortable and had a ton of fun with my style.

2.Who were your best friends in HS? I was alwayss friends with lots of people, I loved everyone, I'm a lover. I'd say over the four years Tam, Rach, Ash, Di, Jessi and Court were my best friends prob.

3. What was a typical weekend for you in high school? Honestly, like with friends, it depends on the year. I spent a lot of time doing extra curricular things like volleyball, drama and lots and lots of student council. Obviously I spent tons of time with friends especially my senior year - I did more partying that year.

4. Did you have any boyfriends? No. I had a baby fling with a boy who didn't live on the island which is why the fling had to end. I still have never really been on a date - my prom date was just a good friend. The Moo is my first real boyfriend :) I didn't even have my first kiss until I was in my senior year! I took that shit slow and steady lol

5. Did you  have any secret code with your friends? We had way too many inside jokes. Not sure about codes though.. I'll have to think about it!

6. If you could relive one day/moment/experience from MS or HS what would it be? I have no fucking clue. Grad week was so much fun. Everything was about me lol and it was just the most exciting thing ever. It makes you feel like the world is just there at your toes waiting for you to walk into it. There's parties and prom and graduation and safe grad. It was pretty wicked !

Fun timezzz. 

What is a fave memory of yours from middle school or high school? :) 

11 followers until another giveaway!! 

Big Love,

Saturday, February 23

Soul Food

Today is such a busy day but I wanted to stop and leave you guys with a bit of anti-bullying soul food. Enjoy and make sure you have a kleenex. Love to you all. <3 p="">

Thursday, February 21

the karma truck and an ELF cosmetics haul.

I was thrilled yesterday when my ELF cosmetics order arrived. I knew that sometimes their orders could take as long as 4 weeks to ship to Canada so when it arrived after 5 days I was thrilled. I was so happy to get it before I take off. I didn't necessarily need new make up but my make up style is changing so I wanted to get a few cheap additions to cater to what I'm liking these days. ELF is my go to when I need some small things but don't feel like/can't afford to be paying 10$ for lipstick or 20$ for blush. Their make up is decent quality in my opinion and you will not be able to beat the prices, especially for the quality you're getting.

If you like deals and you like make up and you're not a make up snob - you definitely want to keep reading!

Here is what I ordered :
1 Baked Eyeshadow in Bark  - absolutely love this shade. it is well pigmented and I've always felt confident in the quality of ELFS eyeshadows. I love this and want to order more of the baked eyeshadows
2 Baked Blushes in Rich Rose and Peachy Cheeky - the Peachy Cheeky is so pretty and I can't wait to actually use these. I have only really tested them on my hand since I just got them last night. I LOVE baked products though. I use a baked bronzer from Body Shop and wear it almost daily.
2 Essential Lipstick in Voodoo and Fantasy - Voodoo is my new favorite lipstick. I will be wearing it every day until its gone and they better not discontinue! I was surprised because I hadn't ordered lipstick from ELF since 2011 when I was super unimpressed with one I ordered. They have improved x10 and I will definitely order more. Ps - they have a really pretty scent.
Lip Exfoliator- Really nice product. Once you get past the smooth first layer it gets really rough which I like because my lips are super dry, I need something effective. I love that it comes in a lip stick applicator! It also has a really yummy smell and the taste is nice on the lips as well.
Eyelash Curler -I really needed a new one but haven't used this yet! I'm sure it's pretty average lol

Now, what we all want to know, or at least what I am most excited about - the price. If I was buying low quality products, maybe just a cheap brand  from Walmart, I would guess that this haul was 35$ at the very least. If I was shopping for the quality of make up that it actually is, and what I would pay for this haul, I would say the lowest price would be 45-50$. So what did I get this haul for? 22 FREAKIN' dollars. 22 bones. 22 jabronies. That's a steal and this isn't even where it ENDS.

This is the part where I tell you about the karma truck hitting me straight in the sniffer and this was the GOOD karma bus people, HELLA good. When I opened up my box I thought I had received the wrong order because there was an HD Blush and a set of FIFTEEN nail polishes in he box. It wasn't on the bill, I wasn't charged for it and I definitely hadn't planned to buy it but I am pumped. I don't know how it happened, I don't know if the ELF police are coming for me but I am beyond pleased.

The set is called the Elf Necessary Nails 15 Pc Collection and has some really great colors. I tried a couple out and LOVE the quality of the polish so far and really love the colors. Since I do not need 15 new polishes, consider I already have 20+, I will be adding some of the lovely shades to my giveaway (which will happen when I reach 300 followers so get to folowin', friends!) I believe in passing the karma on so 5 of these babies are goin in there! 

I received this HD blush from Elf in DIVA and it definitely lived up to that name. Just to warn you - shit is bright. When they said Rich Pigmented they meant it. This is without flash so you can read the packaging but the color is so bright. You need almost NONE of it to use it. I tested it out last night and this is what happened with just a little squirt.

Yeah. I clearly was unimpressed with it too. I was like Oh! They just need to get rid of this shit so they through one in my box buuutt, I was determined to make my freebie work and I did eventually get it applied to where it looked a bit better.

 But check out the pigmented HD blushes because if you're a big blush girl and love super pigmented products then this is definitely for you. The trick is to practice because Like I said, not the most easily applied product I've ever used. I also recommend using a brush like the stipple brush or something. I used my fingers and that may have made the job more complicated. Not sure. 

Needless to say though, yesterday was a very good day. I was just excited my make up was here so to top it off with some free shit was just beyond awesome! Thanks Karma! 

What is the best freebie you ever received? Where are your favorite places to buy cosmetics? Are you a splurger or a saver when it comes to make up? Let me know :) and remember to follow by clicking "join this site" to the left so you can have a chance to win some of the Karmalicious Polishes! 

Big Love,

Wednesday, February 20

the ole' hamster wheel.

I'm pretty sure using 'hamster wheel' to describe when you're running and running but staying in the same place is a common thing to do. Right? It's a normal metaphor I think. Anyways, if it is, it's the metaphor of my freaking life.

I want you to take one guess as to what happened this week at weigh in. My pattern seems to be down 1.5lbs, up 1 pound, down .8, up .6, bang head off wall, gain 3lbs, cry myself to sleep, lose .5 in tears..and so on and so forth. I lost .8 so I'll give you 3 guesses as to what happened this week. Clearly you only need one because I gained.

Now, I will pretend to excuse this by saying that I do have my period, I ate seafood alfredo and cheesecake for grams birthday last night and I really struggled this weekend . I probably deserve a gain. I'm not going to say "this week I hit the gym every day and stayed on track to a tee and I gained and I'm so pissed" because it's not true. So my frustration today is mostly with myself. - With my new diet I'm hoping to reach my original weight of 6lbs 7ozs.

I struggle with food big time. I've wrote about my emotional issues and bad relationship with food, and sometimes I feel like I'll never really get over the issues. When I'm doing well I think I have left the unhealthy relationship in the past but all it takes is one trigger to put me right back where I started. Im not sure how I will ever get better but I'm determined to do so.

All I can do is keep moving forward. These are my 3 goals for the week :

Stick to my 1600 calorie goal and log every single bite. I have lowered my calories to 1600 for a week but definitely fucked up for most of the days I was trying so this week it's on. I also need to focus on recording it all. Logging works really well for me but sometimes I suck at actually doing it! MUST LOG.

Run. Running seemed to be a huge aid in my weight loss last time around and I have felt like I'm not doing enough cardio. I've started Couch to 5K again and I'm ready to run off this belly. & an update on yesterdays post about prospective surgery - it won't be until summer and my doctor told me I can still exercise on it so we're golden in all aspects. Here I come, California and more importantly (just kidding Moo) here I come 24 hr fitness!

No Sugar.I need to stick to my Lent goal and stay away from the sugar. The biggest trigger for me is when I'm with my friends, there is ALWAYS sweets around and I clearly want them and feeling like the only one who is fat and can't eat them sucks! I need to just suck it the fuck up because I know I can do it and I know how awesome I feel when I avoid it.

4 weeks ago I joined a contest, which I clearly lost, but I took a before picture and decided to take an after one too just to see if I saw any physical differences to make myself feel better. I see absolutely no difference, I may even look bigger, which deff correlates with the scale. Motherrr ffuuuckkk.

Oh well. Keep on keepin on. I have to remind myself that when I'm eating healthy and working out every day that I'm doing awesome things for my body and whether it's showing up on the scale or not, it's still bringing me great benefits. It is not for nothing and there is no reason to give up. 

By the way, I weighed in at 228.4 so I gained 2 lbs. This is actually super normal for my period week so I am expecting great things next Wed or at least to go back to 226.4. Bare with me, friends. 

Big Love,

PS! Giveaway coming as soon as I get to 300 followers so if you love it but don't follow - get on it! So excited for a giveaway :) 

Tuesday, February 19

Bailey Lately

Hey guys! I guess I really loved that Valentines Day post with The Moo since I left it up for the last 6 days and haven't wrote since. I did love it, and we had a lot of fun, but there are 2 more truths to why I have't wrote anything. 1) A bunch of my friends were home over the weekend keeping me very distracted from the blog. Real life keeping my from my blog is never something I've let make me feel guilty. 2.) I'm under a lot of stress with eating and my health and having PMS which totally amplifies every bad feeling EVER.

So the fun part of this weekend, which was my friends being home, rocked! Tamara came from PEI, Diana from Moncton, Maddy and Courtney from Fredericton and I was in my glory. I have a few good friend still on the island but when they all come home and we get together like "old times" I feel so much happier. GM can be lonely and knowing I will be separated from them all for 3 months makes it hard to be here alone. So needless to say, lovely lovely lovely wkd.

yes, that is my lard ass tipping the couch. 

So the stressy poopy shit in my life is obviously that I'm struggling to lose weight but now I'm having issues with my ankle. I'm not just being a baby making up excuses, cause I'm still working out 5 times a week on it, but let me rewind for you to almost 9 years ago (Fucking weird). I was in grade 8 and we were on a big class trip to Ottawa. We had crossed over into Quebec for the day to go zip lining. It was a blast but then I broke my leg -legit. I hit a tree on a zipline, broke my fibula, had to be left behind for surgery, flew home alone - the whole shebang.

Some classmates and I outside a museum just a few short days before I did the stupid.

So now 9 years later I'm fine and well with a lot of hardware in my leg...untilll... Last week all of a sudden i'm having burning pains in my ankle. I noticed that two screws are literally poking out of my skin. Not cool and pretty dangerous considering I'm training for a 5k. I'm pretty stressed.

The MORE stressful part of all of this is that I do need surgery, I need that shit taken out asap, and I know that the chances of me being able to have it done before I go to California are slim to none. So I will either have to go to California, risk having them cut through my skin, or cancel my trip, buy a whole new ticket (550 bones down the drain from the first one) and have the surgery whenever they can get me in. I'm broke, and I miss my boyfriend so none of this is bringing me much joy considering I've had one taken out and it takes literally minutes.

I'm going to my doctor today. The original appointment was to get some antibiotics prescriptions for my sinus infection I've had for 6 months - as you can see, I don't do hospitals very often. Now the more pressing issue are the screws that are in fact aggressively pressing against my ankle skin. FUCK.

So moving onto more news with me that isn't depressing and mood diminishing - I got my hair cut. Normally this IS a depressing issue for me as my hair is and forever will be my security blanket. I'm on this new healthy hair kick though and decided to chop some of it to get my healthy on.


SUPER attractive pictures, I know, but at the time I was taking them I wasn't thinking "oh you should look attractive so you can show your readers" i was just thinking "my hair is cut" lol. And yes, the sucker is from the hair dresser for being a good girl. When I look at the pictures now I'm like "yeah, you're a little bitch, it's not that much" but i'm the bitch that can feel like the tiniest snip and I have a break down over it. I actually really like it and I'm not finding it to be an awkward length liek I thought it would be. It looks and feels healthier and that was the goal.

Aside from the chop I'm also trying to avoid applying any heat or harsh products to my hair. I am no longer dying my hair as well. I plan to start applying coconut oil to my hair a few times a week and Mark has already been designated my scalp masseuse as it is rumored to stimulate hair growth. I don't necessarily want super long hair, I just want my hair to grow. People are surprised to hear that my hair is thin but it is actually super fine, fragile and falls out super easily. It's a huge insecurity of mine.

Wow. These topics keep taking depressing turns. Damnit. Anyways, these are some of the things that have been up in my life lately and what's on my mind. I'm about to head to my doc appt (wish me luck, I'll fill ya'll in asap) and then I'm getting ready for my Grams birthday dinner tonight - Happy Birthday, Gram! Also - Happy Birthday to my cousin, Steph! Our family is weird that way - we have a lot of close birthdays. Rach and I are 2 weeks apart, my aunt is 2 days after Rach, cousin is 4 days before. My cousin Hannah and mom share the day and another cousin is the day after..etc etc. I think here are just too many of us - that's my theory.

What's been up with you guys? I haven't heard from many of you in the past week so tell me what's up with you. Love to you all!. Weigh in Wed tomorrow.. I couldn't be less excited.

Big Love,

Thursday, February 14

Valentines Interview w/ The Moo

When I saw this link up was happening at The Life of a Not So Ordinary Wife, I knew I had to get Mark and I in on it. Basically, I answered all of these questions ahead of time, and then I went and asked Mark so that I could compare the answers. I expected some of them to be so dead wrong, because although Mark loves me and is a great bf, he isn't the greatest listener with the greatest memory and he doesn't care about trivial things that us girls tend to care about more than most things. I was pleasantly surprised with this though - I love this guy. But enough of this - check out the interview for yourself. 

Bailey / Mark / Final thoughts.

How long have you been married?
We've been dating for a little over a year. No plans for marriage yet.
"uhhh fifteen months"

good work, moo!

Where was your first date?
I guess technically it was sushi when I first got to Sacramento aha. Or skype. lol. We met online so skype dates/phone dates were all we knew for two years.
shit. i guess it was to that show when i got too drunk. sushi!

lol he eventually remembered. it was a whole sort of day together he reminded me, the 2nd day i got there. the drunk show is a story i will never revisit on this blog lol. too traumatic.

Source: via Bailey on Pinterest

Where was your first kiss?
In his bed like on the FIFTH fucking day I was there. I waited and waited and waited. He wakes up early and I had slept in and he just came in and planted one on me simple as that lol.
on my bed? is that right? 

lol, yes love, you're correct.

Who first said, "I love you"?
I think it was me. I was the first to say it in like "You're my best friend and I love you and I sort of really do love you but we'll act like it's a friend way as to not freak each other out" way lol. I have a totally cute story about the first time he tried to say it out loud on the phone to me. He goes.. "Bailey... I love.... talking to you". Totally chickened out. He texted me after to tell me he chickened out.. I clearly knew.
I did.

Then we had a little convo and I agreed that it probably was him lol.

Source: via Bailey on Pinterest

What is her most commonly used phrase?
I'm guessing it's something like "OH MY GOD" or "It was so was awesome". I say awesome a lot.
"Im watching Criminal Minds"

touche, babe, touche.

Who is her celebrity crush?

I'll be surprised if he has any idea. He could care less and I don't have many crushes. But it's Shemar Moore lol
Justin Bieber and Channing Tatum

Really Mark? I'm not attracted to white guys barely at all. When I told him it was Shemar Moore he goes "Who's that? ..Oh.. Hes got a small dick doesn't he? I'm pretty sure he does. Are you sure he doesn't? Lol. Oh Mark. 

If she was ordering drinks for both of you what would you each get?

I'd get him a pitcher of beer. G+T for me probably, either that or a tequila shot lol
"You would get me.. well.. you'd buy yourself a fruity drink with vodka in it. And if it was me.. it really depends. You would get me.. fuck.. a double shot of tequila." 

This is all true lol.

What is the best meal she has ever cooked you?
He really liked a chili I made once. That and a Sweet Thai Stir Fry I make are pretty much all I've ever made. He's the cook lol
The best meal you ever cooked me was that chili, that was delicious. We didnt even put that shit away, I just woke up the next day and kept eating it.

What is the worst meal she has ever cooked you?
I really fucked up some garlic mashed potatoes once. SO GARLICKY!
I dont think you made anything bad yet, babe. (Good answer lol). Let me think. The worst meal you ever cooked me... the poutine with the shitty ass gravy. I ate it and said I liked it. It wasn't horrible.... no it was pretty bad. 

Haha. The gravy was so bad. I'm convinced you can't even make it right down there.

What would she say is your most annoying habit?

He can't make up his freaking mind sometimes. Back and forth and back and forth lol. Makes me crazy if I'm in a specific mood. 
That I use "Right On" in too many ways and it gets taken in a way that annoys you. My most annoying habit is that you feel like I condescend you. Either that or the pile of clothes I leave by the computer. 

So true. Those are both true but I didn't even think of it. Him condescending me isn't a habit though and I hate that fucking pile of clothes lol 

Source: via Ashley on Pinterest

What is the last thing she does before she goes to bed?
I usually read or watch something on tv. I have to make myself tired.
Brush your teeth. Watch criminal minds. RUB MA BACK. lol

If you could throw out one item of her clothing what would it be?

Lol I have no idea what he'll say to this!
Mmm.... probably your spandex with the hole in em. 

I did throw those out so I guess he sort of got it right ahah.

What would you say is your favorite thing about her?
Maybe my playfulness. He told me that's one of his favorite things a while ago but like I said, he's a mind changer so it could be something completely different by now aha.
I like that you're just a decent person. That's my favorite thing about you to be honest. You're very considerate. I really appreciate that alot. I wish I could be more considerate myself. Its part of what draws me to you... its the main thing. You're an all around decent person, someone who does more good than bad. I have a lot of respect for you because of that. 

Awesome answer, I like that answer better. lol

What's her go-to drink at Starbucks?
We never go to starbucks lol I don't like coffee. 
You don't like coffee. But if you were to have a coffee I think you would like something ... with chocolate milk or some sort of ice mocha. Or maybe'd prob stay away from strict coffee. You'd mix it up.

He's so right lol

What's her blog's name?!
I will be so proud of him if he get's this! 
Being Bailey J :) 

lol he said it so enthusiastically. then went on to tell my why he doesn't read it, ahah. 

I love this guy SO much. He knows all the right things. Happy Valentines Day Moo Bear, I can't wait to spend our Late 1st official Vday together in March! 

Happy Valentines Day Guys. Enjoy the day of love with whomever you love! 

Big Love,


Wednesday, February 13

it's wednesday, so i weighed.

It feels like the Wednesdays get here so quickly come so but the weeks feel like they go by so slowly. It doesn't make any sense. I'd enjoy for these next few weeks to go decently fast though because then I get to go back to see THE MOO! I should formally state that Yes,I am going back to California. I always talk about things on here and never officially say "Hey, this is what I decided". I wrote in this post about how I was still deciding if I was going back and if Moo and I would stay together but we decided after Christmas that our love deserved a chance. And it does, I truly believe that. So there's that totally off topic conclusion that I wanted to officially talk to you guys about!

So back to the weigh in which I was probably subconsciously avoiding. Last week I was up .6 which wouldn't be such a huge deal if I had lost more than 2lbs since I started in January but.. there I was, 5 weeks into my 2013 journey not losing, but gaining. I know you guys have heard me drone on and on about this but holy frustration!

This week I'm down to 226.4 which makes me feel a bit better but I'm still not even down 3 lbs since New Years. I'm still totally stumped as to how I haven't even lost 5lbs but..whatever. Some days I get really sad, there are tears, a little voice in my head tells me to give up but I know it's not an option. I decided to lower my calories and we'll see how that pans out over the next few weeks.

I've also made the big decision to go back to WW if I don't start losing after a few weeks of lowered calories. When I was 16 I did weight watchers and I lost almost 40lbs and so I know that it works, it works for so many men and women. If I don't see any change in the scale by March, and even possibly if I do, I'm going to join in West Sac and hopefully go to the weigh in/meetings because that was a huge part of what I loved about WW when I did it.

Me at 17 after 6 months of WW 212lbs
So this week I was down but only .2 lower than my lowest weight so far this year at 226.4 which is a total loss of .8lb since last week I'm really hoping to see a solid loss of 1-2lbs (hopefully more like 4) since lowering my calories this week. I guess we'll see!

My question to those of you who are losing weight is how many calories do you eat? I refuse to go on a 1200 calorie diet. For one, I would starve, and I just don't think it's enough to eat when I weight 225lbs and work out 5 days a week. I just don't - no judgements if you're the same and you only eat 1200. Props to you cause I'd be dying of hunger and so angry at the world. I'd love to get input on what you guys eat, even better if you tell me what you weigh (fat chance, I know, ever since I started saying my weight out loud I forget that most women refuse to) and how often you work out.

And ps - you don't wanna miss tomorrows Valentines Day post! I did an interview with The Moo, asking him a bunch of questions about me and our relationship that I had already answered myself and tomorrow I'm comparing the answers. It's pretty funny and also pretty cute so check back tomorrow if you're not too busy enjoying your Valentines Day!

Happy Wednesday, Lovers!
Big Love,

Monday, February 11

I'll Take A Stab At It

It seems as though my blog has been dipping it's toes in fashion lately. I do not consider myself fashionable and not even THAT into fashion but I certainly care about it and having a style I am comfortable in and that represents me is important to me. Should you care what dresses I liked at the Grammys? Probably not but it's fun to discuss. I am a girly girl at heart! I'm sharing my Top 5 Best Dresses and Top 5 Worst Dressed.

Being Bailey J's Top 5 Worst Dressed 
Grammy Picks

Clearly the most obviously worst dressed was Adele but I mostly didn't even care because I love her so much. I tried to not let the ugliness of the dress escape me but it tended to because she is so beautiful and amazing. Alas, she still made it on my list.

My first question is Why was Ashanti at the Grammys? My second is why is she wearing a life size butterfly? This was ugly and stupid and 90s. And I see side boob - didn't she get the side boob memo? Meh. I don't think anyone did. 

Beyonce will always look hot, it doesn't matter what she does, I just thought this looked like she was going on a business dinner date or something. It's the Grammys -look glamorous. I can barely even say she's worst dressed though cause she's fucking Beyonce. And where the hell was the Destinys Child reunion Part 2? I waited and waited. Michelle probably didn't get an invite to the Grammys on account of being irrelevant (even though Ashanti was there) so I guess they couldn't go through with it. Kelly was lookin goooood though.
How fooking HOT is Katy Perry? I mean, yes, that dress is hideous and she looks like a really sexy after dinner mint, but she looks so amazingly gorgeous and the boobs..oh the boobs. This dress is shit but she looks amazing from the neck up. Or ..the boobs up and avoiding the dress. 

I love Florence Welch and she clearly should've won the grammy but this dress is ridiculous. I noticed someone comparing her to Reptar from Rugratz - he wants his skin back, Florence! So not right. 

Being Bailey J's Top 5 Best Dressed Grammy Picks

I had no idea who this was until I read the name, then I still didn't know who it was. It's Kaya Jones who is apparently a Pussy Cat Doll..or was one. Anyways, don't care about that, but I loved her dress so here she is on Being Bailey J (lucky her.) I thought there was only one pussy cat doll? What say you, Nicole?

Carrie Underwood always looks good. Her performance was really awesome, she won a grammy, she definitely had a good evening. I have a lot of envy for her - have you seen her legs? She looked amazing.

I freakin' love Kelly. She looked hot and scandelous! Like I said, I thought she was there for another DC surprise show but.. maybe next time. 

Although I'm disappointed in Taylors horrendous performance, not to mention her horrendous bangs, I still loved this dress. I love Grecian goddess dresses and the like so she won me over in this. Tamara thinks I'm crazy but I thought her hair was stupid with the dress.. I wanted something more glamorous..and less bang. 
Clearly the best dressed of the whole freakin' night was Rihanna. I'm not going to go into my opinions on the fact that her and Chris Brown were there together because someone, somewhere is bound to get offended either way. But despite what anyone thinks of her, she looked amazing and her performances were both perfect. She was the best dressed and did the best shows of the night. Absolutely love her. AHH. I'm so jealous of her in every way. Well..not EVERY way. 

So what did you guys think of the red carpet looks last night? Who was your favorite? Who's dress did you want to barf all over? Did you even watch the grammys? Sometimes I just look up all the dresses the next day but I actually watched this year. Let me know in the comments! 

Big Love,

Sunday, February 10

oh hey fresh meat.

Hello love bunnies! I love ridiculous terms of endearment. I'm one of those girlfriends who makes up the most strange ones, usually in public places, for The Moo just for the heck of it. I mean, Hello, his pet name is Markie Moo bear. Why not shout out "Do you want cheese strings, Pookie Wookie Love Monkey?" at Walmart? Exactly - I don't see why not either.

Even though I act as though my brain is only 1/3 functional, I have reached 277 followers. I am feeling crazy lucky and blessed to have about 25 new awesome people join the troop since Christmas. This makes me so ecstatic - it's honestly super cool. I never thought anyone would give a shit what I had to say but humans never cease to amaze me and here we are closing in on 300 GFC followers not to mention 205 facebook likes. I'm glad you enjoy it - and sort of scared for you all and your sanity at the same time. Kidding. Sort of. Not really.

Annnywhooo - I just wanted to reintroduce myself around these parts to those of you who are just jumpin' in on the fun. Clearly you know who I am - I'm Bailey J and I write this here blog but.. there's been a long (almost) 22 year journey getting me to this place, writing for only my your entertainment. My blog has gone from posting youtube videos I liked for zero readers, to travel blogs for my parents, to weight loss for a growing audience, to more travel, to love.. to .. anything really for a huge (to me) group of amazing readers! Constantly evolving, that's for sure, and happy about it too :)

So I'm Bailey, I'll be 22 this year and it's the first time I've felt like 'Oh, I'm getting Old' as a birthday approaches. Not old but I'm sort of an adult now which is freaky deaky. I care about paint colors and getting laundry done, it's fucked up. I hail from a small island in the Atlantic Ocean called Grand Manan (stalk me, bro) and I'm pretty small town - like, I went on my first public bus for the first time when I moved across the continent in October to be with my internet boyfriend..we'll get to that in a second though. The bus thing - yeah, I still get nervous on the buses. PANIC.

Here are some quick and fun facts.
  • I graduated in 2009 - class of 09, still got so much love for you guys. 
  • I grew up in a town so small you know everyone and their dogs name. not exaggerating
  • I was in the largest graduating class in 40 years with a whopping 36 of us. 
  • I traveled to and volunteered in Guatemala for 2 months the fall after graduation. 
  • I have spent the years since graduating becoming a professional waitress and a part time traveler. 
  • I have been to Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama, Cuba, Mexico and the US
  • I met my love, The Moo, on the internet in late 2010, fell in love and we met in Oct 2012
  • The Moo lives in West Sacramento so I spend some time there - I'm headed back in March.
  • I lost 40lbs in late 2011/early 2012. I gained back 20 this summer. I'm back on the weight loss train now.
  • I have a lot of issues with insecurity and shitty body image. This also leads me to be modest. I don't think my blog is that fabulous, I don't think I'm that fabulous and you will not find much about me being awesome around here. You will find a lot of honesty though because since I'm so imperfect, I'm easy to relate to because the jig is up - no one else is perfect either. 
  • I blog mostly about weight loss, self love, and I cuss a lot.
The number one thing that should be said and had over right now is this : 

I will say almost anything on here. I just do not give a fuck. This is my space to be me, and to let my filter fly out the window and to word vomit all over the page. The only thing, or word I should say, that I refrain from using is the C word. That word is reserved for special occasions and particularly heinous people - it's my "sting word" - you know..the word you save up so that when you let it loose it has extra sting. Yep, that's the C word for me. I also don't talk about my children much.. because I don't have any. Thank fuck.

So those are just some very basic facts that sort of help give you an idea if who I am and what you've gotten yourself into and what you are welcome to leave behind if you're not down with. I'd personally love if you stayed though because I have lots of problems that my lovely readers tend to help me through. I love you guys so freakin much!

Another way you can get to know me today is by sticking around since I'm participating in Neely and Ashleys Sunday Social which I do once a month or so. I actually am sponsoring Neely for Jan-Feb - go check her out. :) Onto the questions!

1.) What was your first car? My first and only car that I just recently sold, like, this week, was The Blueberry, a navy blue 2001 Cavalier. I sold her because she's old, I'm broke and I'm headed off to Cali for 3 months. In the summer, I don't need her and if I need a car I'll ruin my credit and buy one. I LOVE the blueberry. So many road trips, so many memories, its crazy. Pat - you better take good care of her. I know where you live.

2.)Who was your favorite childhood teacher? Obviously Mrs.Cronk, and she remains to be my favorite elementary teacher because she actually speaks to me in public and doesn't snub me. When you know your students and see them around town, you don't have to like them, but you don't have to SNUB them, teachers. We aren't huge fans of you either but cmon. The teacher in specific I'm talking about was actually my favorite, I loved her, but now I have a grudge! lol clearly.
Elementary school Bailey. DAT VELCRO! 

3.) Were you involved in any sports/extra curricular? Hell yes, I was. I did Drama in Elementary then in Middle School I took a stab at Soccer, more drama and started my long Student Council career. In High School my life pretty much revolved around Student Goverment but I did a few years of Drama and played and loved volleyball in the springs. I was good at warming the bench but I loved every minute of volleyball. 

                        Volleyball when I was 16 - clearly a bencher considering I was 500lbs. 

4.)What was your favorite birthday party? Um, does my 21st count? I guess this a childhood thing so it probably doesn't. My birthdays were always cool - my mom always tried to make em fun. My cousin had a horse so sometimes we had pony rides, there was always a candy toss and a bubblegum blowing contest aha. My most memorable party was when I was turning 13. I had just arrived home, on crutches, from our Grade 8 class trip where I broke my leg. They said we were having a slide show of pictures at the school but it was a surprise birthday for me. I totally knew it was but acted like I didn't aha. It was super nice of everyone :) Unfortunately I had to leave to attend a viewing for my "grandfather" who I didn't even grow up knowing even though he lived 10 mins down the road. So not worthy of skipping my surprise 13th birthday party but WHATEVER. 

5.) Who was your teen celebrity crush? Aaron Carter was way up on the list. I also had a crush on Steve Urkels alter ego, Stephane, aha. And of course, the fresh prince, Will Smith. I've always had a thing for black guys, just the way she goes. 

so much allure. 

6.) What movies/tv shows did your parents not allowed you to watch? I never remember not being allowed to watch anything, honestly. I watched movies with my parents and I had an older brother so if The Simpsons were on, The Simpsons were on. It didn't fuck me up too bad as far as I can tell and if anything it probably matured me a bit faster, opened me up. I always felt older than I was when I was younger, I wanted to hang around adults and listen to their conversations rather than play barbies or do kid stuff. I was an old soul a bit maybe. 

So now you know a bit more about me, even if you've been here from the start. Keep following, keep leaving me comments and spread the love. I love you guys millions. Oh - and 300 follower giveaway is SO on, so follow through gfc at the top right to get us a bit closahh. :)

Twitter : @bailj
Instagram : beejsmallz

Big Love,
Bailey J

Ps. Hope everyone getting hit by this storm is staying safe and warm! Good vibes to you all! 

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