Thursday, February 28

The Pros and Cons of Long Distance

I know that some of you may be wondering, wait, there are pros to being thousands of miles away from the one you love for super long periods of time? Yes, there are, because unless you haven't figured it out yet - men are ridiculous. There are definitely pros, and of course cons, just like every situation in life.

Source: fanpop.com via Irene on Pinterest


Now, background for those of you who haven't been around long or don't know me in real life. You may be wondering how long distance my relation ship is ie : have we even met? do we see each other on wkds? etc.  I've been in a long distance relationship for 14 months. The Moo (my bf) and I met on the internet in late 2010 then started dating after 15 months of chatting and generally falling in love. We didnt meet until 10 months later (2 years after 'meeting' online). I spent 2 months with him, and in March (uhh SO FUCKIN SOON) I am headed back for another 3 months. So yes, it's pretty legit long distance!

Here are some pros and cons for those of you who have never done this racket of a relationship style who are wondering how  we ever do it and for those of you who are considering entering into one. And for those of you who have been or are currently involved in a long distance relationship - you are amazing, strong and you will know what I'm talkin' about.

Cons

  • Obviously not seeing my boyfriend is a con.
  • I'm often a 3rd/5th/7th wheel and it sucks and makes me miss Moo more.
  • Our 4 hr timezone is just enough to fuck shit up sometimes.


Source: daylol.com via Kerry on Pinterest



  • I no longer have someone who will wash my back for me. It's actually so sad.
  • We're used to not being together so sometimes it seems like a LOT of time together when we are.
  • Trust issues are amplified. If he was on GM, I'd just hunt him down but I can't know for sure long distance where he is unless we're on skype.
  • Falling for each other and admitting that we were to ourselves and each other was a long, torturous process because we were both afraid of what would happen if we truly fell and if it would just be heart ache. That was tough.





  • Texting/typing conflicts. Everything gets taken the wrong way and there is no kissing and hugging to make up.  
  • If we decide to break up and I'm here.. it just seems too unfinished. If we decide to break up and I'm there, I leave and here is no meeting up to talk it out.There will also be no break up sex unless its over the phone.
  • Finally having a boyfriend and still not being able to have sex. No physical intimacy is hard esp when you love someone.





  • Shits expensive. Flights, creating lives in two places.. Not cheap.
  • I never have my official plus1. This summer I get to go to my first wedding I could take a real date to and I wont be able to. The little things can suck.
  • My life is always in limbo and I always feel like I have things pulling me between two places.



Pros 

  • Seeing The Moo is exciting almost every day and seeing each other for the first time is amazing.
  • You truly treasure the moments together.
  • I feel confident in our love for each other. If we didn't love each other - we wouldn't put ourselves through this.



  • The little things become bigger. Simply watching a movie is a fun, rare experience for us.
  • We know each other in a way that I believe not all couples know each other. We've spent two years talking about who we are and we know things about each other nobody else knows. That's special.
  • I have been able to salvage some of my "single for life" independence which I've always taken pride in.
  • Sex is passionate. Even after my week in Mexico, the first 24 hrs back in Sac was wicked. You have no clue how excited I am for that first few days back. Longing does great things for the sex life. Sorry, Ma.
  • Skype sleeping is actually sort of cute and before we met, it brought us together in a weird way. We seriously fall asleep together on skype all the time - like last night. Then Moo wakes me up with his sleep talking and growling.
  • I don't feel the need to shave like ever. I don't worry as much about little girly primping things so much. I've actually started to try to shave more often so I get into the flow of it because I do not regularly shave my legs


Source: 9gag.com via Carolyn on Pinterest



Each of these pros and cons are a part of my life that I have to deal with and whether it's a pro or a con, its a product of a relationship with a man I love. No relationship is perfect and although this has definitely been one of the most difficult things I've ever been involved in, some of the saddest feelings I've ever felt and I've been through some things I would've rather avoided - it is also a pretty rewarding part of my life. When it's worth it, you know and I love the Moo very much. I never would've met Mark on my own so this complicated mess we have found ourselves in is what we believe to be fate doing what it has to do to get us together.

I love you Mark.

Source: via Rebecca on Pinterest


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Big Love,
Bailey


4 comments:

  1. Hey Bail, where do you get all of the pictures and stuff for long distance relationships? They are cute! And may I add- you are so strong:)

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  2. Hi Bailey! Thanks for finding my blog! I was a resident of West Sac.. I just moved back over to Land Park lol. So I need to rename my blog but it's been so many years as West Sac Honey.. Now I am conflicted. Great post on long distance relationships it's all very true to the core! That's awesome you get to stay there for such a long amount of time though. My old one I had to just see over weekends like 4 days and 4 nights..

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  3. I couldn't have said it better myself. Henry and I have been doing it for the last year and a half. It sucks! But like you said, making an LDR actually work, really instills confidence in your love for each other. Have a great trip back to Cali...you must be dying with excitement!

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  4. I think distance makes the heart grow fonder Xo Megan, www.TfDiaries.com

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