Tuesday, March 5

You Raised One Helluva Liar

Dear Parents : you raised one helluva liar, maybe even 3, but definitely one. That one is me. (Rhyme time!)

Something my dad likes to say is that Mom and him raised a good group of liars. This sounds bad, and yes, lying is bad, but we tend to be sneaky and lie about things for the good of someone - usually Mom! For example we have a tendency to sneak behind moms back, join forces and buy her fun gifts. I personally LOVE surprises. There is nothing better than surprising people and I totally over do it when it's deff not necessary but I just love a nice surprise!

"What is your latest scheme, Bailey?" you may be asking! Surprising The Moo is my latest scheme!! AMPED. In January I decided I'd book a ticket, but tell Mark I was coming a little later and surprise him. I messaged his sister to see if she'd help me execute my evil (in a sweet way) plan and she was down! So for the last two months I had Mark believing I was arriving on March.15th when in fact I arrived 11 days early, on March.4th. You guys knew I was coming but I was vague on here because he just might decide to actually read my blog the one day I revealed the secret. He is smart and intuitive -he guessed all his Christmas gifts-so I knew I had to be super stealth!

For two months I had countdowns going for the 15th and we constantly got all mushy gushy about how close it was coming. We planned our first day together, I told him what I wanted him to cook me (burritos of course- yum) and in the airports (for 1$ a fucking minute) I even kept up my charade of being at Sheri's for the week (which I was for the weekend -perfect cover) and texted him saying I was going for drives, going to the movies, and my excuse for not texting all morning was that I stayed up all night and slept in until noon. Golden. Lucky for me he had two classes and was pretty well distracted. Unless he was bored he normally wouldn't freak if I didn't text him all afternoon.

The day of flying and airports was a fucking long one and I mean looonnng. It started at 3am when I woke up to do any last minute packing and make myself look like I had slept more than 2 hours. Sheri and I were on the road by 3:30 and after a quick Iced Cap run at Tim Hortons we were off. My first flight was a few hours to Toronto and was pretty smooth sailing. Once in Toronto I had 90 minutes to get through pre-clearance (customs to get into the states) and then I was off to Colorado. As I waited in line to clear Customs I was particularly urked by a large businessman in olive pants, a floor length olive trench coat and a repulsive attitude. He was so socially inept and his presence alone annoyed me. After that, and a few weird looks from the Customs officer, I was off to Denver.

Of course - the Olive man ended up sitting in my row on the plane and blabbering the whole time. Not only that, but he took off his shoes and let his toes get some air the whole plane ride. Fucking weirdo. Lucky for me I had headphones and a cold. I was also sitting near 2 situations where grown men (who were strangers) fought over who was REALLY in the window seat. Seriously guys? Grow the fuck up and sit your ass down.

The most unfortunate issue with that flight was that it ended up being 75 minutes delayed and I missed my connection to Sacramento by half hour.DA FUQ? I had to rearrange with Marks sister about picking me up but it ended up being not too stressful. A super friendly airport dude stole me away from the long Customer Service line and booked my ticket. Apparently the airline had booked me one for late at night even though there was one at 3:30 (about 4 hours after my scheduled flight). He hooked me up on the earlier flight and i was so freaking thankful. He's an angel.

Although I had an earlier flight, this one also ended up being delayed but only by 30 mins and we made up a lot of that time. For all the travel shit, I got some good karma and ended up being seated alone on this flight! I got to stretch out a bit, have a little nap and fart a few times. 2.5hrs later I was in Sacramento, shaking in my boots with excitement for the surprise! But there was one more setback waiting for me. Because the airline booked my ticket for later, they left my baggage in Denver. At this point I didn't even care - I just wanted to get to the apartment. So I went outside, breathed in the warm Sacramento air and waited for Marks sister to arrive.

On the drive there she told me she had told her mother that day about my surprise. So their mom, realizing how dirty Marks apt would be and how he might want it to be a bit more welcoming, headed there to clean up. This is what happened when I arrived at The Moos apartment :) Sorry in advance - I think its sideways aha.

His sister totally called him getting all emotional and I knew he'd go into shock. All he said for a few minutes was "I gotta clean my room" and he locked himself in there to clean up. There were literally things he hadn't cleaned since I left - so gross. So today I'm starting the make over of the apartment. I just cleaned the freezer out an almost vomited. I don't know if Mark is super special or if all dudes would be this disgusting if left to their own devices..either way - not okay. 

So here I am, back in Sacramento until June 4th. I'm not sure what the next 3 months hold for me but hopefully good things and lot's of good memories with The Moo! :) I'm off to open up and try on all the clothes I bought and sent here over the past 2 months lol. Cough *shopaholic* Cough. 

Big Love,

PS. People definitely get annoyed of my annoyance of using the word "gay" as a synonym for stupid but the chances are likely that I won't ever stop. Here's why. 



  1. This is too cute! So glad you made it there safe and sound and that your surprise panned out without him knowing :) have a great trip girl!

  2. I am in love with surprises! Way to pull it off it sounds super cute. But I can't see the video and now in sad :(

  3. Hey girl, love that you pulled off the surprise!! So exciting!! I'm confused tho because I loved that last video you put and wondered why you would put that video and say you're going to keep using the word "gay" in a pejorative way??

  4. Oops just kidding. You said your annoyance with the use of the word gay. I'm totally with you!!!

  5. Lady, you are hilarious!! Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving such a sweet comment!


  6. I laughed out loud a couple of times. That Olive guy sure sounds nice, I would like to see more blog posts about him. <3 Super cute that you surprised him, enjoy the next couple of months!!

  7. All guys are that gross.
    I live with two, and they're both living proof.

    Don't worry, it just takes a little training (even though it doesn't do much) but it makes you feel more accomplished :)


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