Tuesday, May 14

Forgiving Myself

This morning I read this post Letting Go from Carb Monster. She writes about letting go of all the times she didn't succeed in the past so that she can succeed now. This is something I totally struggle with.

I have a lot of guilt and resentment over the fact that I gained half my weight back. I gained a few pounds through the summer, then after I was cheated on I lost and then gained more weight. When I moved in with Mark I gained 10lbs and when I came home for Christmas I gained a bit more. I started 2013 with half of my weight gained back and now, in May, I'm still struggling with it.

I torture myself over the fact that I could be at goal weight and I Let the guilt I feel for getting so close to my highest weight consume me. The worst part is that I let these negative emotions effect my weight loss now, they consume me until I feel like giving up. What's the point anyway? Might as well binge and gain back the rest. Fuck that.

Today I'm letting go of all that negative shit and I'm forgiving myself for the failures because that's what humans do.. We fail and we makes mistakes. Instead of letting the failures define me I'm going to come back from it and let my comeback define me. I can't let old mistakes hold me back from the successes I'm totally capable of.

So you heard it here first. I forgive myself.

Big love,
Bailey

3 comments:

  1. Oh man...this hit home with me..big time. The amount of time I spend berating myself for not being the weight I "should" be right now..is sad. I am in the same boat with you. I lost most of my weight I wanted to lose, then life happened, and I gained it all back. Sigh...oh to be that girl who doesn't have to worry about it..you know? I get the whole "I should just give up cause I've given up before"..that is so me right now. You're definitely not in this alone..hugs.

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  2. That's so awesome! I am totally taking this weight loss thing from the opposite end. We focus on the process of cutting out food and exercise and think the mental piece will work itself out. I think for some people it does. I think some people replace emotional eating with healthier habits (like exercising) that helps them self-soothe. I haven't found my replacement yet haha.

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  3. Every time you fall down is just another opportunity to learn and grow. Obviously you have leaned, and I hope that you are able to let go of the negativity associated with those times!

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