Sunday, June 16

Confessions

Admitting to myself when I suck is the hardest part. Admitting it to my blog is a very close 2nd but it has to be done. I find owning it helps me move on from it. I've had pains in my stomach all week because I know I got a bit out of control with my eating since last weekend. I know that I can come back from it but I feel like shit about it and I just feel like shit in general from eating all these things I normally wouldn't.

So here is my confessions : two brownies, a hot dog, poutine, 2 molasses cookies, pizza, a chocolate bar, nacho dip, peanut butter jelly sandwiches, a muffin, oreos, adult beverages and a lot of iced tea, which I normally wouldn't drink as I drink water 95% of the time. None of these are things I would absolutely never eat but it would be rare and it would be in moderation. I ate all that shit in one week. So not okay!

So why this week? I survived PMS without any cravings but once I actually got my period the cravings were off the wall. I know it sounds like an excuse, which I suppose it is, but I don't normally crave anything so it seems wild when I get one. I just wasn't strong enough! Some periods I don't get any at all but all I could think about this week was food, brownies and carbs specifically. I actually felt sort of helpless, I had felt so in control for the past two months or so it was hard to feel that power struggle happen.

On top of all this, I worked about 50 hours this week (which is also the reason I've been missing from the blog world). Some days I was going to work at the Day Care from 9-3 and then working 3:30-9 at Gallaways. That is a long day and though I tried to pack lunches and healthy snacks, I found unhealthy convenience in the wrong places. It's hard to go from having so much time to focus on eating well and exercising to working that much .. so I know that finding time for myself is going to be something I need to work on this summer. I worked out twice this week.. TWICE! I worked out 7 days last week and I love to work out so it's totally not okay that I only went to the gym twice.

Excuses excuses, there really is nothing I can do now. I know for sure that when I get on the scale in the am I will be up at least 3 pounds, maybe even 5. I'm back to where I was two weeks ago and that's unfortunate. I need to work on making time for work outs this week and now that my period is ending there is no cravings and no need to keep eating all that shit. I had my time, now its over and it's time to get back to being awesome.

I am definitely going to have a good week. I am still working often but there is only one day where I work 9-9 which will make it easier to get to the gym. Writing this has helped me refocus and if you all wwant to send me lots of good vibes I'd appreciate it. It's not an easy journey and I am going to keep fucking up until I get it right but I will get it right..... eventually. 

Big Love,
Bailey.

And just because this is fucking hilarious





6 comments:

  1. "Fall down seven times, get up eight"

    That's my favourite quote since starting my weight loss journey because it's so true.

    No matter how many times you struggle, pick yourself up and start again.

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  2. Admitting it is always the hardest part. And, yes what Tim said!

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  3. You'll be fine as long as you get back into it. I've fallen off the wagon a few times this past month too (too many Magnum ice cream bars among other things), but you just have to start up again. Good luck!

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  4. I blogged very similarly today. At least you own it and can admit when you are going through a hard time. When I'm busy and stressed I go off course easily it seems. We just have to take it one meal at a time!

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  5. Girl, I've been blogging about the same thing for a few weeks. It just takes one good day to get back on track. You've got this. :)

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