Monday, July 15

Learning to Love The Skin Im In

Pretty Strong Medicine

Something I need to do in this life is be accepting of and happy with my body, whether its 250lbs or 120lbs - it's mine, I'm stuck with it. I need to be happy with everything about myself to live a truly happy life. I can still be happy and enjoy my life but think about how much more full your life would be if you were never worried about the number on the scale or how your butt looked in your new jeans. I know that at least for me, that would cut out a lot of stress from my life.

I still want to lose weight but I'm trying to just be happy with my body. I am certainly unhappy with the extra weight I carry but my body could be worse and I'm trying to get more acquainted with the way im shaped and the good things about my body. Why not at least attempt to feel one with my body and try to find some peace with it?

I used to obsess about the fact that my butt is small and Im not hippy. I would complain about how I was shaped like a boy and then spiral into obsessions about never finding a boy to like me. My belly, my obvious issue, plagues me and the amount of times I've wished to be shaped differently should clearly have been spent wishing for something realistic because this is what I've got - this is what I'm working with.

I'm becoming more okay with things about my body. My booty is small but might as well just call it cute and be okay with the fact that I'll never have much junk in the trunk. My shape may not be the typical feminine shape but i have some curve in there and Im blessed with some boobies that I pray do not disappear if/when I lose the weight I need to lose. I'm tall, and though I have a belly, it makes it a little easier to carry this much weight on a 5'8 frame rather than 5' frame. My legs are big but athletic and could definitely be bigger. If it wasn't one thing - it would be the other, so I gotta let this shit go and be happy with SOMETHING.

I want to lose weight this summer but I don't want to obsess over it. I'm trying to enjoy my summer when I have days off. Today I enjoyed an amazing day off, roaming around with firends enjoying hte sunshine and especially the beach. Instead of stressing over what I woudl wear to tan in and to swim in I threw on my underwear and a tank top and said fuck it - my body is what it is. And I didn't worry about it once. And I had a really great day.

So here's to being committed to health, but not committed to obsessing over my body and the self loathing that is tied to that. I had an awesome day once I decided I wasn't going to worry about it. A nice breakfast with a good friend, the beach, floating in tubes and dinner with my mother - what's to worry about? I had an awesome day off and the shape of my body had nothing to do with it. If only I had learned this lesson before now. 

Big Love,

Got something to say about health, fitness or of course weightloss? Link up Wednesday for Weight In Wednesday with Heather, Ash, Amy and I! :) Can't wait to see what you guys are up to!


  1. I LOVE THIS!!! We got what we got. There is some tweaking that we can do here and there but ultimately genetics plays a key role in what we look like. Instead of hating that it would bring so much more peace to learn to embrace it.

  2. The belly seems to be everyone's issue. That seems to be the hardest place to lose inches.

    Glad you were able to enjoy your day off and celebrate you!

  3. Great blog Bail! XO...and you're welcome for the lack of booty!

  4. This is such a positive place to be in!

  5. Great post - I love it! This is something I struggle with as well. You are beautiful inside and out!

  6. I NEED to learn this too. I really do. Thanks for the reminder. I'm glad you had a great day :)


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