Wednesday, September 18

Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband ;

I know you're probably thinking how much of a dork I am for writing this at 22 but if I chose you well, which I'm hoping and thinking I did, then you think it's "so me" and can't help but be charmed by it. If you think it's stupid or you're using the word "gay" to describe it we need a divorce asap. If I stayed true to myself, and married someone who paralleled my values there is no worry there - I'm sure you're a gem.

The first thing that I have to say to you, thinking I know myself pretty decently at this point, is sorry. I have been out of a relationship at this point in my life for about 6 months but I don't forget the way I acted. I am a basket case and I know that I can be overbearing, jealous, insecure and at certain times of the month, downright psychotic, but I hope that you found reasons to love me through it because I like to think I'm worth it. I am these things because I am human and, as weird as it may seem, because I care and because I HAVE been burned before.

I hope you haven't burned me but if you have, and I married you, then you must be quite something. When you read this, remind me that I am a forgiving person and if you have hurt me, and I still chose to marry you, that I have to let it go. Life is too short to hold on to those feelings and they will hurt me more than they hurt you.

My biggest question to you is this : ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? Seriously..you married me?! I assume you're pretty awesome but really..me? I don't get it but thanks just the same - I needed a break. At this point in my life, like I said 22, I have no idea how I am going to get a guy to notice me let alone convince him to talk to me, take me on a date or consider making me his girlfriend. Then I have all these bitches around me getting married and I'm like GIVE ME YOUR MAGICAL POWERS, because I do not get how I am suppose to make this happen.

I don't know if I know you yet and I don't know how we will meet or how anything will go down but that's exciting to me. Maybe I'll meet you tomorrow, maybe we met 10 years ago, maybe it's really really far down the road.. I don't know.. but I can't help but be a little excited. Something you should know about me by now is I believe in love so much.. so  so so much and I want it for myself and everyone I know. If when we meet, or when we marry, I have lost any of that sparkle and that belief in love I hope that you give it back to me.

One more thing I want to mention : I'm really sorry if my cooking still sucks. Bare with me.. I promise I'll get the whole wife thing down, it'll take some practice. I'm sorry for the slumps when I only wear lulu lemons and sports bras and the nights when I cry for no reason and when Im not feelin the whole sex thang. I promise to try to be the best most awesome wife ever when Im done those funks and I hope you are trying your best too. I hope we love and respect each other enough to always be working at it cause marriage is a BIG ass deal.

The biggest thing I need to tell you is to not give up on me. I'm not perfect but I hope you see exactly who I am and choose to love that person even though I'm a bit strange. Even though I have a hard time believing it, I think I'm worth it, or at least Im working at eventually being worth it. Like I said earlier..bare with me.

Big love to you future husband,
Your wifey poo.

PS. If you're having trouble with me in between the sheets wink wink.. always remember to warm me up! I really like making out, even at 60 years old, which is probably the age we got married at. You're welcome. :) 

3 comments:

  1. This is a good post. I can relate to a lot of it myself. I think it's important to believe in love and to never take it for granted too. Whether I'm 30 or 90, I will always work hard to make the person I love feel good about themselves, feel good about the relationship and to feel good about the future. If both people do that then in my eyes it's a successful relationship.

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