Thursday, October 31

A Semi-Unicorn Responds To The Unicorn Theory

Have you read the article floating around about why good girls are like unicorns? It's an article (clearly written by a man) mainly covering these points :
  • the lack of 'good' girls out there  and how they are as mythical as unicorns
  • when men finally decide that it's time for them to settle down it's hard to find a girl who isn't a total slut or doesn't lie about being a total slut (like they have been doing for the past 15 years but would be outrageous for us to do)
If you haven't read it, I suggest you do before reading the rest of my blog post. Click here to go read it. 

Okay. So how do you feel? I'm counting on most of you being women. I know many of you probably feel like he's a sexist, double standard toting asshole. Do any of you feel like he might be onto something ? I don't 100% disagree or agree with all of his points. I'm the kinda girl who is torn on this sort of thing. I've wrote a few blogs about how I'm not into casual sex - I like to do the sex thing with serious boyfriends only and so on and so forth. BUT, I also think it's a personal choice and believe a woman, or a man, can play by their own rules and change their rules and do whatever they want because it's their life. I also think you have to deal with any consequences that come with the choices you make in life.

By this writers standards I'm probably part unicorn. I'm a pretty good girl, decent head on my shoulders and I like to think I can hold up a conversation. Am I virgin? No, I've had sex with one serious boyfriend who still asks me to marry him on the regular so I guess I did okay for myself but lost a point with those of you who will be 35 and looking for purebloods. So I guess it would depend on who you ask but I'm gonna say I'm part unicorn, maybe even full unicorn depending on how much of an asshole the man is.

This brings me to my big question which I'm going to ask considering myself a "unicorn" : to all you men out there hunting unicorns...why in the fuck should us unicorns stay "pure" and "good" for future husbands when they are done fucking sluts and ready to settle down? Because the douchebag who wrote this article is giving me ZERO incentive.

Do you know how hard it is to find a nice GUY? A guy who does't cheat? A guy who hasn't slept with 15+ girls? It's just as hard as finding a nice girl, or a fucking unicorn, if not harder! Then comes the task of finding one who hasn't been snatched up (and isn't easy to steal because admit it, boys, most of you aren't that hard to persuade). This is where the double standard comes in because guys will forever use the argument that men and women are different and it's totally different for a guy to fuck 15 girls than it is for a girl to fuck 15 guys. Oh.....okay. LOL.

So say its fine for you to fuck whoever you want - are you even a decent human being? For the most part guys treat good girls (and girls in general) like shit..and then the unicorns go bad. They turn into Whorses (see what I did there?) So when ya'll are ready to settle down, and you've fucked all da hoes, and treated girls like shit - there won't be any good girls left, because you fucked them over and they went to the fucking dark side.

 Do you know the last time I was taken on a date? Never. Do you know the last time I was given flowers? Never. Do you know the last time I was given a valentines day gift or even a birthday gift from a guy? A sweet note on my facebook wall just telling me how shiny my unicorn horn looks? I think you can answer that for yourself. I'm a nice girl and pretty damn good girlfriend too - what the fucks a broad gotta do to get a little romance around here?

In conclusion : it's really fucking hard to sit around waiting for a nice guy to come along. I personally have almost lost my faith. Guys I have met do not want girlfriends or romance or monogamy so why they think that we should wait for them to turn 40 and finally want to be a decent human being is way the fuck beyond me. The door swings both ways : I'm not giving it up to you when you decide its settle down time if you're not a stupid fucking unicorn either. Fucker.

You may be wondering if when I have totally lost my faith in ever having a nice, respectable relationship with a nice, respectable man am I going to head over to the dark side? I don't know, it's not really in me to be honest but eventually a girl has got to have a bit of companionship, man. Know this :  I will forever have some high ass standards in order to weed through the shit heads that populate this earth in order to somehow find a decent guy for a husband some day. i WILL find you.

A girl can dream right?

A Bitter Bailey

PS. Go fuck yourself, Preston Waters.

PPS. There's a lot of sarcasm in here that I hope you can detect. I know for a lot of women it's hard because we're all so slutty and stupid. 

crushes & rejection

I was watching a video on youtube the other day relating to crushes, and what it's like to have a crush who doesn't like you and about dealing with it. This instantly took me back and I began thinking about the multiple crushes I had through middle and high school and I ended up just laughing at myself to myself because I was such a wreck when it came to boys.

Here's the thing about me : I literally attracted zero male attention until long after high school. Mark was my very first boyfriend and I only ever even kissed one boy before I graduated. This was not necessarily the way I wanted it to be it was just the way it was. Believe me - I had crushes, heaps of em. Remember the days of lmultiple crushes and declaring it on your MSN messenger? That was totally me. 

I was always madly in love with someone deep down. I actually recently waited on a guy who I was totally obsessed with for years and I had to laugh to myself over it. Had 16 year old me been in this position she would've just passed the fuck out. I can't even explain how like weirdly "in love" with him I was but it went on for ages. When I started drinking and going to parties it just got worse because I got way too brave and got harshly turned down every time. Even after I graduated if I ran into him my heart would stop. Did I actually love this guy? Of course not, I barely knew him, but I had the worlds HUGEST crush on him and when I was 16 I thought the world was ending if he wouldn't give me the time of day. 

high school theme song anyone?

And the time of day he seriously would not give me. The truth, that I should have faced then, was that he was never going to think I was good enough for him and that was totally okay. When you're young you feel like these crushes are this ginormous deal but in the long run you're not even at all who you will be in even a year, you shouldnt even date in high school and you're just totally not suppose to be with this person. There is also a large possibility that they are not that cool anyway. I had and still have nothing in common with any of the crushes I had in high school and them ignoring me was probably better for everyone in the long run. 

Recently I had my first crush in a long time. I met him online and instantly clicked with him and I actually deep inside my silly head thought I might find a boyfriend in this guy. He, dishonestly, said he felt the same and I fell right into the trap. We met in real life, I liked him and then soon after we met, he stopped talking to me completely. Rejected. 

I was crushed and I started feeling like I really liked this guy and he didnt want me and it was the saddest thing in the world. Then I had an epiphany. It didn't take me long to realize that this guy was just a douchebag and what I was feeling was not heart break but rejection - and though it fucking hurt, it was a sweet realization.

In realizing this I was able to move the fuck on. I met him, I liked him, he shut me down. Life goes on, and it went on, and now it's on and it's whatever. Am I totally over it? Nah, the rejection still stings and he's pretty cute so it sucks. But he wasn't that compatible with me, he's kind of an ass I have met a lot of really nice guys lately that make me feel like I need to not care. For example the smoking hot guy in San Diego I met - if guys as hot, nice and interesting as he was can show interest in me, do I have any LEGIT reasons to give a shit about a guy who was a dbag? No....I dont....not really! 

So now I'm prepared for my next failed crush. If it doesn't work out - que sera. As my cousin/personal comedian Rachel says "What is meant to be, be's" and sometimes you just have to trust in that. Trust that things are happening the way that they are suppose to and find yourself a new crush. :)

Big Love,

Sunday, October 27

california love.

Back in April my good friend Ashley who is obsessed a big fan of wrestling started talking about an upcoming TNA(Total Nonstop Action - Always feel like I need to elaborate) Wrestling event going on in San Diego in the the fall. I love San Diego, and at the time was still in love with someone in the state of California, so it didnt take us long to realize we should probably take the plunge together. She was nervous to leave her son, I was nervous to see my ex but we started making moves anyway!

Six months later and it's come and gone. We started our trip on Wednesday night, Oct.16th - I worked until 5 and picked her up for the last ferry around 7pm. I knew she'd want to spend as much time with the Munchkin so we took the last ferry even though it would put us at our destination at 1am.. we're bad bitches - we do what we want!

The first issue we ran into was on the ferry when I asked for some peanut butter cups and never got them - I was unimpressed. In the grand scheme, I know it's not an issue, but Im still craving them. The drive was okay but crazy rainy at times. Besides the rain, things went well until we got into Nova Scotia and realized that not only was I low on gas but I was on empty. How did I not notice earlier?!

 We were pretty much in the middle of no where and had no clue how long it would be before we found a gas station. Luckily my friend who was taking us to the airport is amazing and was willing to bring us gas if we ran out so we had a back up plan. We drove into some town in the middle of buttfuck nowhere and of course, everything was closed and we were running lower and lower on gas. Finally we found a town and somehow we made it..I was praying mega hard. I now know I can drive for quite some time on empty - you rock, White Lightning II. Little did I know, this was just the beginning of our bad luck.

We sped off towards Truro, where we were staying for the night and as we got closer, the rain poured harder.  I was happy to see the exit for Truro and excited to escape the rain but just before we exited onto the ramp my car started hydroplaning. We were all over the road and for the first time ever I thought I might actually lose control of my car. It was so scary and when I did get control again, Ashley and I had both nearly lost control and shit our pants. We drove about 15km/hour until we got to our destination.

It was almost 1:30 in the morning by the time we landed, and considering we had about 90 minutes before we headed for the airport we decided to just chill and rest until we took off. The drive to the airport was pretty uneventful but by the time we arrived at Stanfield at 4am we were turning into zombies. Ash and I were on separate flights and had to board in different parts of the airport so we separated around 4:30 and by 5:30 she was in the air and on her way. Wish I could say the same for myself.

Everything went fine through security (thank god there were no repeats of Sac Intl' March 2012) but once I was ready to board my flight, it got delayed. They said it was just some mechanical errors and it should be fixed soon. Two hours later, they said they were waiting for mechanics to fly in and fix it. Two more hours later, they figured we'd be flying out by 3. By 3, 9 hours after we were meant to fly out, people were saying we were cancelled. They never made an actual announcement, they simply started rerouting everyone and putting them up in hotels. It was AWFUL service and an awful way to waste a day. Not only was I stuck in Halifax but Ash was alone in San Diego and I felt so guilty that we would be separated for so long.

The only plus to the day was being given a free night at the ALT Hotel in Halifax. It connects to the airport so it was zero hassle to get there and it was an AMAZING room. I showered, ate and after being awake for around 40 hours I promptly passed out until I had to wake up at 4:30 the next morning to catch my flight...again. There were no significant bumps in the road that day and I landed in San Diego and arrived at our hotel safely.

The few days I had in San Diego with Ash were awesome! We drank, met lots of awesome people (and wrestlers of course), ate good food and just generally enjoyed our time. People give me a weird look when I say we didn't go on a bunch of crazy adventures but it's exactly the kind of trip we both wanted. For her, it was non stop wrestling events and action and for me it was relaxing, not working, being with a friend I love and socializing with some really cool people. oh and drinks of course. I'm very easy to please and enjoyed being able to relax and not worry about work or anything at all.

I left early Sunday morning and headed to Marks. I had to go on a goose chase to find him because I told him to pick me up in the wrong place of course, but he was waiting patiently where I told him to when I figured out how the heck to get there. It was kind of surreal seeing him at first but it didnt take us long to fall back into being comfortable with each other. One thing that I love about our relationship is that I am more comfortable with him than anyone in the world. He was encountered me at my absolutely worst and still loves me so.. that's impressive lol

The few days with Mark were good. He didn't drink which made me very happy. He tried so hard to keep my happy and always wanted to do things I wanted to do and we had a lot of fun. We ate Thai, saw a movie, lounged and watched criminal minds and ate mexican food - all things I love to do aha. And if you can believe it.. I didn't fall back in love. Mark has a place in my heart, and is one of my best friends but after this trip I know I made the right decision in March and I feel empowered and free now which are really awesome things to feel.
Ridiculously yummy Curry in Sactown

So now I'm home. The travels home were pretty boring (although I did get delayed again FUCK YOU UNITED) so I won't bore you with the details. Mostly I just wanted to touch on the fact that the trip was awesome, I hate United Airlines and I am single like I said I would be when I got back. Girl power.

I'm sorry I have been so absent from around here but I have some topics floating in my brain and I promise to try my best to throw some blogz atchaa. Hope everyone is doing well.

Big Love to you all,

Sunday, October 13

today im thankful for...

loving parents who have raised me well and give me the space to be myself and make my mistakes. 

friends who choose to see and bring out the best in me, who make me laugh, who i love so much.

a roof over my head and a very cozy bed. 


coworkers who keep me sane when insanity would be so easily obtained.

an online community of amazing friends and support. 


lovely weather. 

family to feed me turkey when i can't be with my immediate family. 

happy canadian thanksgiving. xx 

big love,

Monday, October 7

life, love and tequila shots.

Hi Friends!! How are you all doing? If you are reading this right now you are awesome and I love you - I know it is hard to consistently check in with blogs who do not post consistently! I am blessed with people who generally give a fuck what is up with me and what I have to say and for that I am thankful - like SUPER thankful (tis the season!)

I have no good excuses for where I have been or what I have been doing that is so important that it keeps me from blogging once in a while. I generally work, eat, sleep and have a couple drinks on the weekends and thats my life right now. I did go to the mainland last weekend to celebrate Taylors birthday and we had a blast! It was my first time out in Halifax and I will hopefully have the chance to again sometime soon!

The Bday Girl and I doing some Tequila Shots!

Since then I have been working, working, working. To be honest I'm feeling a little bored and unsatisfied with life as work is slow and no one is around anymore. I think it's time for a change which is in the works. For now I plan to be at home until Christmas but what comes next I can't be sure of - hopefully something new and exciting!

Also on the new and exciting list - I'm 95% committed to buying an Iphone. For those of you who don't know me in real life you probably don't know that I'm a Grandma when it comes to phones. Until a year ago I used a flip phone and then I bought the only non android/iphone available in the world at the store (in the year 2012) and hooked myself up with a Samsung Gravity. Grandma.

I hated touch screen forever so that was my main reason for sticking to old school but now that I've had an ipod touch for a while Im better at the whole touch screen thing (still not thrilled about it though - love me some T9). The second reason is that I'm an eagle who needs to spread her wings and I never know how long I will be local and committing to contracts of any sort freaks me out. Oh and don't forget the whole 700$ price tag thing. You're talking about a girl who pays 1000$ for cars.

I am not sure if I will be staying in Canada or if I should be spending the kind of money I plan to on a phone but I think I'm gonna go for it. I'm not going to get the newest model and people with a lot less money than I have spend their money on stupid shit so .. fuck it. Should I do it?! I think so!

What else is new in my life? Well I head to California in 10 days! Ash and I will be in San Diego next Thursday afternoon - should be a fun little adventure. Her and I will be there until Sunday then she flies home and I head up to Sacramento. Yes, I am going to see Mark! Sounds crazy, I know so I'll elaborate.

Truthfully, I thought Mark and I were going to get back together. When I first agreed to go to California with Ashley it was just for her event. At the time Mark and I were still talking all the time and I missed him so I planned to go up and see him for a couple of weeks. For a while, I think we both thought we were getting back together. We planned to see how things went and discuss getting back together because we were both still in love.

Over the past few months I have realized how awfully stupid love makes me and how much a Mark and Bailey reunion does not need to happen. Mark and I could have something very special and awesome but if we got back together it wouldn't work for the same reasons it didn't work before. Mark didn't treat me right and he drank too much and neither of those things was about to change if I moved back there. As much as I want to believe that I am worth being treated well, I will never be worth it to him and that's that. So the subject will not be brought up - Mark and I will not be getting back together.

That being said, he was my friend before our relationship and he always will be. I miss him and I'm going to see him and yes, it's probably stupid but I'm young and I'm okay with making stupid mistakes. I am in a good place now where I know that me being single is a much more healthy choice than being in a relationship that no longer serves me. I am talking to guys and open to new relationships - I'm trying and that's all I can do.

My fear right now is that my friends are wrong and that I don't deserve to be treated any better than I was treated by Mark. Maybe I didn't deserve to be told I was pretty and maybe other guys would think I wasn't deserving of fidelity and dates and all the things my relationship with Mark lacked. I'm still single, I've still never been on my first date and no one has shown interest in dating me since Mark. Maybe that's what there is for me and I should just go with it. That is my fear, and though I am keeping the faith that something really great is in store for me, I can't help but wonder if I'm making a mistake.

Either way, I am going to see Mark for 3 days and then I will be on my way and head home. For me - this is closure. When I left California in March I was very much in love, wounded, confused and totally lost - I had no idea what was right or wrong. Now I have a better grasp on why I had to leave and why being home, although awful at times, is a better environment for me even if it's a bit lonely. This is our goodbye.

Onto things that aren't completely depressing! I decided recently I was going to cool it on the red meat and today was my first day of attempting to avoid it. So far so good! I just think it does funky things in the tummy and I am slowly trying to change my habits and I decided to start there. I'm not saying "never" I'm just done for now. Kelly mentioned in her blog yesterday about not liking labels like "Paleo" or "Gluten Free" and I agree with her - I reserve the right to not eat red meat and decide in 3 days I'm going to eat it again lol. It shouldn't be an issue. Kelly always knows just what to say!

Other than that I can't think of anything new or exciting about my life that I can mention. I wish I could - I truly wish my life was super exciting and I could tell you guys all about it but it's not aha. I'm about to grab some late dinner with a couple of friends and although it's not the most exciting thing in the world it makes me happy so that's all that matters.

What is new with you guys? I love you all so very much xx

Big Love,

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previous blog entries.