Thursday, October 31

A Semi-Unicorn Responds To The Unicorn Theory

Have you read the article floating around about why good girls are like unicorns? It's an article (clearly written by a man) mainly covering these points :
  • the lack of 'good' girls out there  and how they are as mythical as unicorns
  • when men finally decide that it's time for them to settle down it's hard to find a girl who isn't a total slut or doesn't lie about being a total slut (like they have been doing for the past 15 years but would be outrageous for us to do)
If you haven't read it, I suggest you do before reading the rest of my blog post. Click here to go read it. 

Okay. So how do you feel? I'm counting on most of you being women. I know many of you probably feel like he's a sexist, double standard toting asshole. Do any of you feel like he might be onto something ? I don't 100% disagree or agree with all of his points. I'm the kinda girl who is torn on this sort of thing. I've wrote a few blogs about how I'm not into casual sex - I like to do the sex thing with serious boyfriends only and so on and so forth. BUT, I also think it's a personal choice and believe a woman, or a man, can play by their own rules and change their rules and do whatever they want because it's their life. I also think you have to deal with any consequences that come with the choices you make in life.

By this writers standards I'm probably part unicorn. I'm a pretty good girl, decent head on my shoulders and I like to think I can hold up a conversation. Am I virgin? No, I've had sex with one serious boyfriend who still asks me to marry him on the regular so I guess I did okay for myself but lost a point with those of you who will be 35 and looking for purebloods. So I guess it would depend on who you ask but I'm gonna say I'm part unicorn, maybe even full unicorn depending on how much of an asshole the man is.

This brings me to my big question which I'm going to ask considering myself a "unicorn" : to all you men out there hunting unicorns...why in the fuck should us unicorns stay "pure" and "good" for future husbands when they are done fucking sluts and ready to settle down? Because the douchebag who wrote this article is giving me ZERO incentive.

Do you know how hard it is to find a nice GUY? A guy who does't cheat? A guy who hasn't slept with 15+ girls? It's just as hard as finding a nice girl, or a fucking unicorn, if not harder! Then comes the task of finding one who hasn't been snatched up (and isn't easy to steal because admit it, boys, most of you aren't that hard to persuade). This is where the double standard comes in because guys will forever use the argument that men and women are different and it's totally different for a guy to fuck 15 girls than it is for a girl to fuck 15 guys. Oh.....okay. LOL.

So say its fine for you to fuck whoever you want - are you even a decent human being? For the most part guys treat good girls (and girls in general) like shit..and then the unicorns go bad. They turn into Whorses (see what I did there?) So when ya'll are ready to settle down, and you've fucked all da hoes, and treated girls like shit - there won't be any good girls left, because you fucked them over and they went to the fucking dark side.

 Do you know the last time I was taken on a date? Never. Do you know the last time I was given flowers? Never. Do you know the last time I was given a valentines day gift or even a birthday gift from a guy? A sweet note on my facebook wall just telling me how shiny my unicorn horn looks? I think you can answer that for yourself. I'm a nice girl and pretty damn good girlfriend too - what the fucks a broad gotta do to get a little romance around here?

In conclusion : it's really fucking hard to sit around waiting for a nice guy to come along. I personally have almost lost my faith. Guys I have met do not want girlfriends or romance or monogamy so why they think that we should wait for them to turn 40 and finally want to be a decent human being is way the fuck beyond me. The door swings both ways : I'm not giving it up to you when you decide its settle down time if you're not a stupid fucking unicorn either. Fucker.

You may be wondering if when I have totally lost my faith in ever having a nice, respectable relationship with a nice, respectable man am I going to head over to the dark side? I don't know, it's not really in me to be honest but eventually a girl has got to have a bit of companionship, man. Know this :  I will forever have some high ass standards in order to weed through the shit heads that populate this earth in order to somehow find a decent guy for a husband some day. i WILL find you.

A girl can dream right?

A Bitter Bailey

PS. Go fuck yourself, Preston Waters.

PPS. There's a lot of sarcasm in here that I hope you can detect. I know for a lot of women it's hard because we're all so slutty and stupid. 


  1. The guy who wrote that needs to go live on an island with the guy who writes The Rules Revisited and then they can both talk about how great they both think they are.

  2. Hahaha!!! This may just be the best thing I have read in a long time! You go girl!

  3. Its funny that I read this. In the last hour I have had two guy friends tell me a) "I just shagged my next door neighbour that likes me but I don't really like her" and b) "I'm dating 3 girls I've met online".

    I think the problem isn't that there aren't enough female unicorns out there but the problem is that there is a lack of real men out there who want to treat women with respect and love. People are too impatient these days too.

    I'd also consider myself a part unicorn which probably comes down to a combination of how I've been raised by my family, my general shyness and if I'm honest a lack of opportunity (not sure that is the right word) to go on dates and meet women since my teenage years. But I'm proud of who I am and I will raise any future children I have to respect the opposite sex (or same) and have strong morals when it comes to how they live their lives despite how society these days suggests that its old fashioned.

    I think the author of the article needs to stop pointing the finger and maybe take a good look at himself.

  4. Well said Bailey, you hit the nail on the head, Male whoremasters are cool, but females that do the same thing, have to go to church and ask God for forgiveness, you see Bailey, I am from the same Island you are and have been fighting the same battle for as long as you've been alive, but it is not just here it's everywhere, male shovanisim, so I am with you, maybe we can rename this place, Island of unicorns!

  5. Your response is fantastic. Love it!

  6. Love your response. It is fantastic!

  7. As a fellow unicorn, I am totally in agreement with you. I wouldn't be waiting for some idiot to decide he wants to settle down and grow up (as if that ever happens anyway). It's so ass backwards to think a man should be able to sleep with whoever he wants and if a woman sleeps with the wrong person, they're a total slut. I hope this Preston Waters gets Syphilis and dies.

  8. My sentiments are somewhat along the lines of Tim, but maybe a tad more cynical. I feel like you have somewhat missed the intent of this fellow's article. In it, he does definitely admit that there is a double standard and that men are partly to blame for the general prevalence of whorses (I see what you did there) and lack of unicorns. But he doesn't necessarily say that a girl who isn't a virgin isn't a unicorn. Anyone can discern a slut from a serial monogamist. There generally is no ill will harbored when a guy finds a girl who has only been with her boyfriends. Especially if they weren't just two week flings. He's lamenting the lack of girls who aren't holding themselves to the two extremes of saint or slut. Many girls insist that they're too good for any guy except "Mr. Right" while they continue to turn down plenty of reasonably good guys left and right.

    I'm a prime example of such a guy. I like to consider myself a pretty nice guy and another fellow unicorn. I'm decently fit, but I'm not Mr. Universe. Yet, I can't seem to get any romantic attention from girls at all. No clue as to why either. I don't chase girls, especially not for sex. I buy flowers, remember important dates, and like pets. But I'm still perpetually relegated to the friend zone. And I'm far from alone.

    This goes on for awhile, but we eventually get tired of the eternal friend zone treatment. In a cost/benefit analysis view, zero return generally means that something is dreadfully wrong and needs to be changed. Since one can really only change her/himself, guys who perpetually end up in the friend zone eventually either stop being so nice or cut their dicks off.

    Case in point, I myself have perused a couple thousand girls' profiles on various dating apps. Many of them make it known that they're looking for some sort of commitment, not just a hookup. They also affirm that they most certainly will NOT be receptive to perverts. Yet, despite my best attempts at being friendly and keeping innuendos at bay, a barely get more than a couple lines of response (if any at all), and most certainly haven't been on a single date. Meanwhile, I go places and see an obvious douche on a date with the same cute girl from class who turned me down a little while back.

    Moral of the story for all girls: don't play games and don't punish guys for your ex(es). You have to stop assuming every guy is just trying to get in your pants and nothing else. Yes, he most definitely does want to get in your pants. That's what separates a romantic relationship from a regular friendship. But that doesn't mean that that's all he's about. Naturally, you don't want to just be used for sex. That's understandable. Make him wait a good 10 or 50 dates or even for a year after marriage before you have sex with him. Problem solved. But give him a chance to prove that he's not just after getting in your pants.


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