Friday, November 29

POF Gem Of The Day

Sometimes you get introductory messages on POF that make you say, "Really?! REALLY?!" Some examples are
"                                             "Nice rack".... Hello to you, too, sir!
"Wanna fck"..... No, I'm good, thanks though. I'll be sure to give you or one of the other 100 users who asked me that today a shout when I decide I'm up for it. 
"Do you like anal?".....Excuse me?

And then you get a gem like this........
DA FUQ?! Who asks that?! 34 year old virgins from Maine, apparently. 

Big love,

Monday, November 25

Startin' From The Bottom

I'm feeling hella philosophical today - all kinds of wise thoughts floating through my head right now, it's ridiculous. Bare with me.

The past two months have been huge for me. I've had many eye openers, learning experiences and general personal growth in the past few months even though it may seem like I have absolutely nothing figured out. The event that got the ball rolling was going to California. Yes, this has to do with Mark but going to California also let me step away from my life and work situation and analyze it with a clear mind and a new perspective.

I went to California hoping for an awesome time with Ashley and closure with Mark. I found both of these things but came home with so much more. I finally felt like I was standing up to someone who had been abusive to me and although it sounds a little crazy coming out of my mouth - I felt powerful again and I felt I had regained my voice and I wasn't afraid to feel anything or say anything anymore because I wasn't scared of losing anything or anyone anymore. This experience was huge for me and verbalizing so many of the things that I had felt over the past year with him was therapeutic and awesome.

The realization of the power I had over my own life and the power I had over the shitty situations in my life is a large part of removing myself from other abusive situations and people and also a part of quitting my job. Another personal relationship of mine recently ended and although it's sad and I'm hurt, I also know that this relationship was soon to start taking a negative toll on me and was not going anywhere healthy. I am sad for my loss but have found solace in knowing it's most likely for the best.

Although it may seem to people that my life is askew (and you'd be totally right ), for me it feels like my life is coming together in a way. Personal growth is as good as any other kind, whether it's financial or professional or what have you, and I feel as though by things falling apart, they are coming together. I have found so much clarity lately and it feels great. No - I don't have a full time job now, No I'm not in a relationship but sometimes not having those things is better than having those things and them negatively affecting your life.

So I'm startin' from the bottom again but it's exciting and not knowing what's next is half the fun. It's important for me to keep myself surrounded by people who make my life better and I'm beyond blessed to have so many of those people. Life may not be perfect but it's pretty damn good.

Big Love,

Friday, November 22

8 POF Users I Refuse To Reply To

Plenty of Fish is a piece of shit site but I keep my account up and running with a glimmer of hope that a decent guy is looking for a decent girl who is me. I know it's not going to happen but hey - crazier things have happened, right? ....right? 

I get a lot of messages, some aren't that awful and some are ridiculous. It's been an entertaining few months using POF and it's about time I introduced you to some of the guys I won't be meeting since I've covered the guys I have already met. These are the top types of users that will not see a reply from this fisherwoman. 

The Novelist. The novelist seems sincere and to someone who isn't totally cynical he might even come off as genuine. The novel is usually their life story about love and loss, being a good guy and how much he'd like to get to know me. Lucky for me I'm cynical as fuck and all I read when I receive these novels from hell is "I copy and pasted this to every single girl I could find on POF and even some of the girls on my Facebook". Next please.


The Trying Too Hard Guy This guy is a hoot. He is very excited about talking to you and uses tons of exclamations marks to prove it!!!!!! You have SO much in common and he is interested in all the same things you are - well at least the ones you listed on your profile. Really, John, you're interested in dancing, mini golf, travel, volunteer and volleyball? We must be soul mates.

The Car Even though there are rules about only using pictures of yourself, I still receive messages from cars and other inanimate objects pretty frequently. By this I mean that I receive messages from men who have stupid pictures or some don't have pictures at all. I almost never reply to these people because I'm human and attraction is important - chances are there is a reason you didn't post a picture and it's not because you're normal.

The Texter This guy says Hey and as soon as you reply instantly asks for your number so you can text. 3 words : DON'T DO IT! If he was cute and said something normal like "Hey, How are you?" then I reply but if his second message is about getting my number I instantly shut him down. Fuck all that. I have given out my number too early before and I won't do it again. Once they have it you can't take it back, ladies!

The HornyGuy29128 I have been messaged by multiple men who's usernames include the word horny and a series of irrelevant numbers (the most popular being 69 which happens to be relevant to them). Never will I ever even consider replying to someone with that username...ever. The obvious reason is that they're clearly looking for something that I am not providing and the just as obvious second reason because that they disgust me.

The Eager Beaver This guy barely says hello before he asks you to hang out and meet up. Maybe that is normal but not for this chick. I want to talk to you for a while, have you on fb, know you're a real person and probably hear your voice before I ever even think about meeting you. Relax, bro.

The Insecure Guy Like most people, I find confidence attractive and nothing turns me off quicker than a guy who harasses me asking if I won't reply because he's ugly/stupid/etc. I'm not replying because you are harassing me.

The Alphabet Shit Storm. This guy is just plain lazy! His username is alsdalsd and his profile is full of "asf;dg;kjfhlkjfhljalskf MESSAGE ME". Um.. no.

And without further adieu.. the absolute worst.

The Challenged Guy. Nothing makes me crazier than a guy who messages me and can barely spell his name. You don't have to actually know how to spell but you should at least have the dignity to use spellcheck - don't most computers automatically put in the squiggly red line these days? This causes me so much frustration. Also using 2 as to/too, 4 as for, U as you or any other ridiculousness will almost instantly turn me off.

There are exceptions to some of my rules. For example, if a guy with no picture sends me a message that says "Hi" I'm obviously not going to be that compelled to write back as I have nothing to be attracted to and he's immediately boring me. If a super hot guy without any 6's or 9's in his username messages me "Hi" I'm probably going to be shallow and reply. "Hi", "Hey" and "Hello" are acceptable conversation starters but I usually need something else like an interesting profile or picture to catch my attention in order for a reply to take place.

I am not the most beautiful girl in the world, or on pof, or even in this room (okay, maybe in this room since I'm alone) but I think I'm an okay catch and this post is not me being stuck up - it's me being funny and honest about the crazies I've encountered on that site. I've been lucky enough to meet some cool guys who are nice to talk to and that's better than nothing.

I have asked you to share your online dating stories with me before and I absolutely love hearing about them so please leave a comment if you have a good story about a message you received, a date you went on or if you just want to say hello!

I'm sure I'll be back with lots more tales from the POF Saga so keep an eye out.
Big Love,

Thursday, November 21

10 Reasons Life Is Currently Awesome

10. It is still not snowing - thank the lord. 
9. I get to work tomorrow for 7 whole hours. YAY WORK! 
8. I went to the gym for 3 consecutive days which is my biggest streak in over 6 months. Sad but hey.. I'm getting somewhere! 
7. I get to see a ton of my friends and celebrate the lovely Natanias birthday on Saturday. YAY

5. A really big, hot man messaged me today which is always the best. 
4. I get to see my niece and nephews in ONE MONTH from tomorrow!!
3. And one week later I get to see TAM! 
2. There is broccoli salad in my fridge.
1. I just won 50 bones at bingo! FUCK YAAAA. 

Life is truly good. 
What's good in your life? 

Big Love,

Wednesday, November 20

Life As A Stay At Home

Today makes a week since I quit my job which prompted this post - check it out if you're behind. My cousin Rachel once proclaimed that she wanted to be a "Stay At Home" which is like a SAHM except you have no children - you just stay at home. It's been the running joke since then that I'm now a certified stay at home and so far, it's not too awful as you can imagine.

Before you think I'm being completely lazy I would like to say that I have not actually stopped working. I am definitely lazy and enjoying my downtime but I have picked up a few hours hours at two previous places of employment and continue to house and petsit to give myself a bit of income. Not breaking into the ole' savings is super important right now so I'm open to whatever. There are very few jobs where I live so I'm extra grateful for the opportunities I've been given at both Harbour Gifts and Primitive Wishes! I also folded laundry for $20 at a party this weekend... I'm not kidding.

Yep. That happened. Aside from laundry and picking up odd shifts, I've spent a lot of time doing things I couldn't do when I was working all the time. My friend Courtney said today, "Just do all the things you always wanted to do that you couldn't" and that's what I've been trying to do. Having lunch with her was one of them - I was almost never able to go out for a meal with a friend and I was almost always the waitress that waited on them. I look forward to more lunch dates with her and my other friends.

I started going to the gym again and where I'm not eating restaurant food every day I've had a chance to start working on my eating without the temptations of delicious deep fried food. I'm taking baby steps but I'm already getting somewhere and feeling better. The gym is rough after being there very few times since I went back to Gallaways full time in June but I'll get there.. one day at a time.

I was able to spend a couple of days away this week to do Christmas shopping which was so awesome! When I got to the city I met up with Jacq, an ex coworker turned biff, and we hit up the big Christmas market in Saint John. It was so fun and we had some very yummy treats aha. After that we headed to Thandis, one of her favorite restaurants that I had been asking her to take me to forever. It was super yummy and I have not spent much time with Jacq that I didn't thoroughly enjoy. Absolutely love her.

Pad Thai - YUM

I went to Rachels apartment after that and met up with Cassie. Every year Cassie, Rach and I try to do a special Christmas shopping trip and this year was the perfect getaway and awesome start to the Christmas season! Christmas music playing everywhere, Santa at the mall and shopping for gifts and decorations. So lovely. We also went to dinner, saw a movie and just hung out.. it really was awesome. I love spending time with them!

Rach (awkwardly) getting into the spirit. 

So life is pretty good right now. I would love a bit more work and my days seem sort of long at times but it really could be much worse. I still think I made a great decision and now it's all about making a bigger decision. I know that in January I need to get off the island but the big question is do I move to the city and look for a job or do I take my savings and get my travel on? I have no idea but I hope to have it figured out soon. Who knows?! 

What do you guys think would be a good next step? :) 

Big Love,
Bailey J

Thursday, November 14

today i quit my job.

A little update for the important people in my life. 
Today I quit my job. 
I am unemployed and officially earning no income.
But I'm also free from a job that caused me some serious stress.
I love waitressing.
I didn't love the rest of it. 
I don't know what's next. 
I don't know how I am going to make any money. 
I don't know much of anything.
But I feel FREE and for the first time in a while..
And for now - I'm okay with that. 
Sometimes you have to take risks to get to where you're suppose to be.
I'm ready for you, life. 

And on a side note : Im hard working and awesome. 
So if you need an employee...I'm your girl. 

"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.” 
― Robert Tew

Big Love,

PS. Thank you to my friends and family and the constant support I receive from you all the time. I am stronger and awesome and better because of the people I am surrounded by. I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH!!!

Monday, November 11

Remembrance Day

I wanted to share my brothers Remembrance Day address today because I loved his message. He makes my family and I very, very proud and I am so thankful for him and for the countless men like him. We are a blessed nation.
 Lest we forget. 

Thursday, November 7

my second fish.

I've been open on my blog and in my real life about using the dating site, Plenty Of Fish, to meet guys for the past couple of months. I am ultimately looking for a serious relationship and found out pretty damn skippy that 99, if not 100% of the men on POF are looking for hook ups and have no desire for a relationship (some partly because they are already in one or more).

I have written about my first, and until yesterday, only POF meet up. I liked him, he lead me on, we stopped talking. We actually recently started talking again but it's a stupid move on my part so.. I'll end this story there. Today I'm talking about my second meet up!

I started talking to Fish #2 a little over a month ago. He was cute and didn't say anything sexual when he inboxed me so I decided to reply. I'm a horrible fisherman - I NEVER send anyone a message and I almost never reply to the ones I receive. Talk about picky. Anyway, the conversation with us was always chill and it never got dirty and sexual like most men tend to do to converations we have. He was a gentleman and has continued to be one to this day.

It didn't take long for him to show an interest in meeting me but like I am with most guys, I was a little nervous about it. He was awesome from the beginning though - kind, interested in me and attracted to me which is great. I have a hard time finding guys who are decent an genuinely attracted to me so this was a major plus.

He is truly a gentleman so he offered to meet me halfway in Saint John, as he lives in Fredericton. This to me was a big selling point - no other guys had openly considered making much of a effort at all to see me so I knew I had to meet him. On Monday Maddy and I hit the road and I nervously began my journey to meet him.

I saw him first, kind of like when I met Mark, and played it cool from afar. I was buying a new phone (which is a different story for a different day - I now have an iphone!) and I watched him walk around the food court looking for me like the stalker that I am. I texted him ad told him to sit down and I'd be right there. Luckily for me the phone buying process is sort of lengthy so I had time to check him out and get used to the fact that I was going to approach him shortly.

When I did approach him it was nice - he had a smile on his face and didn't appear to be running in the opposite direction so I figured 'so far so good'. We hugged, which was nice and pretty much just relaxed, hung out and chatted for two hours. It was the most normal thing ever for being something that is't so normal.

He was nice, easy to talk to and more handsome than I even expected. Did I fall in love instantly? No and there wasn't a huge spark yet, but that doesn't mean anything. I really like him as a person and I'm giving it time - you ever know what could happen. We are still chatting and it's definitely possible that I'll see him again but for now I'm still seeing other people and open to whatever. Who knows? :)

So POF isn't too awful bad for me so far. If I met up with more guys who asked to meet up I'd probably feel differently but I've been okay with my decisions to meet the two who I have met. I'm not sure if I'll ever find a relationship on there..or maybe ever find a relationship in general but I think it's okay to keep it as an option. Yes, most of the men are disgusting, but they're human and it doesn't mean it's IMPOSSIBLE to find a decent guy through POF..just unlikely aha.

I'd love to hear some of your online dating stories - the ones people have shared with me are so awesome and some are even romantic. Share away! :)

Big Love,
Bailey J

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