Thursday, July 31

Temptations At Home

I've wrote on my blog about how comfortable I am on Grand Manan at my parents home -it is my safe place and where I feel most myself. This is a wonderful thing but when it comes to dieting it is not so wonderful - it has almost as many temptations for me as Taco Bell does.

When I'm in the city I find I can be quite strict and on track even though technically there would be many more options for cheating. I don't bring junk food into my home and luckily for me my roommate eats healthy as well (except she looks like a fitness model and I look like .. well....not a fitness model). If I try hard I can avoid the delicious food at work and lucky for me I'm not a big fast food person - my rule is that I must never go through a drive through alone as to not make it a habit. So fast food is a once in a while, at 3am kind of a thing for me..not much of a temptation.

But at home.. oh boy, at home. There is currently doritos, cheesecake, swedish berries and a big bowl of spaghetti here and those are just the things I've picked out in the last 12 hours - I could find way more if I looked. Theres also a large jar of rhubarb punch mix - my favorite - just waiting for me in the fridge. It's so hard!

Now just to be clear - this is not to sabotage me. This is my parents home and I'm only here for a visit every once in a while. It's their food and they didn't just buy it because they knew I was coming home. My mother bought tons of fruit and veggies and cooked me a delicious meal last night (I posted it on instagram which you should totally follow me on : beejsmallz) and is SO supportive of me every time I try to lose weight which has been hundreds of times. But it's still hard because although there is healthy food I want all the shitty food!

So today I woke up and I had some fruit and guzzled some water. I went to get my nails done then as I drove up the island I day dreamed about all the different things I could eat at my favorite restaurants on the island and when I got to my house I entertained the thought of warming up that huge bowl of spaghetti and inhaling it. Instead of eating those things though, I thought about my weigh in saturday and decided to have the best of both worlds - I put together a plate of salad and chicken and gave myself 3/4C of the spaghetti to satisfy the craving.

Some people would consider this a win, some would consider it a loss. I'm considering it a win - I'm just not at a place where I can totally avoid everything I love and make 100% on point eating decisions yet. The fact that I didn't go and get garlic fingers and actually had something healthy is a huge win. Also, like I've mentioned more than once, I never want to live without all the things I love and I stand by that - if I want some spaghetti, Im gonna eat some.

This losing weight thing is not easy, as many of you may know. In fact it's a very hard and emotional journey and there's good days and bad days and I'm just thankful I have this blog to come to when I'm struggling or triumphing or whatever it is I need an outlet for and I thank you, the readers, for being there to listen. You're the best!

So Saturday is my weigh in and I'm feeling good about it. In the weight loss world it's well known that week 2 can be weak sometimes as far as weight loss goes and I'm prepared for that. I had a huge loss last Saturday and I'm not expecting another one like that and I'm prepared to not lose anything. I have had a pretty good week though, I've been keeping up with my goals of tracking better and drinking more water and I'd be quite happy with a 2lb loss though a 4lb loss would be even better, hahah.

So wish me luck and I'll fill you all in on Saturday!

Big Love,

1 comment:

  1. I know the feeling - coming home and being surrounded by endless amounts of junk is a recipe for trouble! I ran across this article right after I read your post and I think you'll really like it! I love what she has to say and I think you'll find it helpful as you travel.


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