Wednesday, January 21

an explanation, spinach in a smoothie and 21 days sober

Before I get started on what I would like to discuss in this post I want to just say a couple things about my last post. First of all, thank you so much for reading it in general and thank you to everyone who gave me positive feedback. It was one of my most popular posts thus far with more comments, shares and discussion than most if not all of my others post! That being said, there was some controversy about me offering up that I am currently sleeping with a hot guy.

Monique commented, "I was with you right up until the end. "This body is also sleeping with a really hot guy so fuck you, society!" Really? You spend a post writing about how YOU accept your body and that is the most important thing, but then you offer that you're sleeping with a "hot" guy as if that contributes to whether your body is acceptable or not. What does that mean for women who aren't sleeping with "hot" guys, or any guys? Are there bodies less acceptable? Also, why does it matter that the person you're sleeping with is "hot"? What if he had acne or was overweight or in some other way unattractive by society's standards?" 

I personally messaged Monique back but I wanted to offer up some answers here as I was left a couple of comments like this and it's definitely worth addressing, especially if other people felt this way but didn't comment.

 First of all, what I meant by that (for people who got any other message from it) was that me, someone who is not beautiful, sexy or acceptable by societies standards is sleeping with someone who is and I didn't say it in a "im sleeping with a hot guy and you aren't" way, I said it mostly as a stick it to the man kind of comment. I said it to to make an example of the fact that none of that shit really matters. Just because society or the media or your mother or the lady on the street tells you that there is one type of beauty or tells you that you fit into some box of ugly or pretty or fat or fit doesn't mean that it's right or even close to the truth. There are all kinds of types of beautiful and all kinds of people who are attracted to all those different types. I have slept with 5 guys and they were all very different physically and lead extremely different lives and had extremely different personalities but I was very attracted to them and there will be people who aren't and that's totally cool. This is what is so wonderful about life and love and the world we live in - diversity of people and diversity of interests - there is always someone wantin' what you're flauntin - always!

I understand that by putting my opinions and nonsense out in the open that there will always be people who don't agree or who want to pick apart what I say or who will take things I say and feel like I'm saying something I'm not. That is the risk I'm taking. My promise is to think longer and harder before I write things but to always be honest - even if I'm going to offend someone. If I tried not to offend anyone I wouldn't be able to write anything ever. I am not taking back anything I said in that post but I certainly am taking the comments seriously and will be more conscious about things like that next time as to have less misunderstandings! Thanks to my readers for always keepin it real!

Tonight I just wanted to write about the whole health journey thing that I'm on and keep you guys updated as a way of keeping myself accountable and maybe inspiring someone else.

Until this week I was mostly focusing on getting back to the gym and not drinking and partying. This weekend was really hard for me and all I wanted to do was drink a couple bottles of wine and take off to the bar. I didn't but I was very close to breaking. Now I'm happy I didn't and I would've been so disappointed in myself had I done it and I'm pretty excited to say I'm 21 days booze free and this is the longest I've gone in probably 2 years - it's a big deal for me!

Over the weekend I was pretty off track as far as food went and I decided to really tighten the reigns and start tracking my food and making healthy food choices a larger focus. I'm also trying extremely hard to push myself at the gym. I'm literally that girl on the treadmill who looks like she's about to pass out and inside my head I'm cheering myself on and giving myself pep talks to just make it one more minute. I feel really good though and I can't wait to be back to where I was a couple of years ago.

As far as food goes I'm trying to focus on getting a ton of veggies, some fruit and protein and cutting back on starch and added sugars but not stressing too much about that or anything really. I'm using myfitnesspal to be more aware of how much I'm eating but again, not stressing and obsessing. I'm not much of a cook but I have been making smoothies, stir fries and I made my own ground turkey spaghetti sauce to put on spaghetti squash last week. I also tried my hand at making a smoothie with spinach and it ended up being delicious so go me!

Every day is different and I tend to go with the flow as I'm not much of a planner. I've been keeping lots of healthy stuff on hand though so I don't have any excuses. Sometimes I have a huge breakfast because I know I'll be busy all day between split shifts and the gym and sometimes I eat light because I have dinner plans and I know I'll prob eat something a bit heavier. Today I was having tacos with some friends so I had strawberries, some almonds and of course my flax seed oil drank. I've been drinking a tsp of flaxseed mixed with some juice and water every morning to help keep me regular and lucky for me it has lots of other great benefits! 

So I'm eating quite well, committed at the gym and still sober so, yay me. I will definitely go back to drinking as the plan was never to give it up completely but I think it will be much different. I know I can't be drinking every weekend if I want to stay committed to the gym and eating healthy because it throws me way off being hungover so I'll be focusing on going out 2-4 times a month and my wallet will also be thanking me! 

As far as no boys is going I'm doing great. At this point I'm feeling so happy and independent. For all of 2014 I was so desperate to hang out with boys and to find a boyfriend and to not be alone and I longed to be in the place that I am now. Having arrived at this place of not wanting to date, not wanting to get involved in anything, not wanting to chase or talk to any boys... well, I just wish I had arrived here sooner. But I feel really great. No, I'm not writing it off forever but I'm just happy to be focused on myself (selfish, much?) and not stressing about any of that bullshit! 

What I'd love to hear about from you guys is what you like to do for work outs! I like really high intensity so if you have any awesome HIIT work outs or anything like that you think I'd like please share - no burpees please! I love when you share! 

Big Love,

1 comment:

  1. Good for you for focusing on yourself & making yourself a priority! Keep being your awesome self! As for workouts, I always workout from home and I love fitness blender, jessica smith tv, tone it up, and blogilates... look them up on youtube! There is tons of variety in case you can't make it to the gym sometimes or even just for exercise suggestions :)


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