Monday, April 20

oh hey, blog.

Hello friends - its been a while, I know. A large reason I haven't been writing is the fact that I have no wifi. I don't open up my laptop and start typing very often anymore and Im not one to write using pen and paper so it just doesn't happen. I've had the urge, believe me..just haven't done it.  Honestly though, a huge reason I think I stopped writing was because I subconsciously put up a huge wall after receiving an insane negative comment on a blog I posted a couple of weeks before I stopped writing.

When I freely put my thoughts, opinions and feelings out there I have to accept that some people may not always like it or agree and will go as far as commenting negatively and letting me know just how much they don't like it. That's just how it goes. For the most part though, that hadn't ever happened yet and I've had this blog since high school. People are good to me - they comment and encourage me and blogging has been an awesome experience. When I received this particular comment I think it took me by surprise and made me pull back.

For a while I worried everyone or at least a portion of people felt the way this person felt and that I should no longer write about my life and experiences and opinions because it was just whiny and negative. The thing is though.. this is my blog and if I want to write about things that suck in my life, I will, and it's totally okay if no one reads it. If you don't like it, don't read it. Please, for the love of god, don't read it and complain about it if you dont like it! Just go away.

Writing is my therapy - writing about things that hurt or bother me is how I deal with them best. The reason I post and share is because I've found that people relate and understand to a lot of what I'm saying and sometimes its nice to not feel so alone when you're hurt and bothered by shit. It took me too long to realize I have to write anyway, even if people don't like it, but I get it now and I am going to try to write more often. :)

During my little hiatus not much has changed in my day to day life. I've been working a ton, my roommate sadly moved out, I don't drink very often anymore as I'm quite busy with work and I spend as much time with friends and family as I can. My love life is definitely the same but I am trying hard to not worry about boys and focus on being a version of me that I can really like and appreciate and I figure a dude might be able to like and appreciate me more when I can. I did hang out with a really lovely guy last week and it would be nice if that went somewhere as I felt a nice little click with us. It was really nice to just hang out with a guy who I could talk to and be comfortable around..and he ended up being a pretty good kisser too. But I'm going with the flow and if it doesn't happen, it doesn't and its all good.

Unfortunately this winter I found out that my dad has been diagnosed with Cancer. At first this was scary for me after seeing so many of my friends struggling with the heartbreak of having sick family this year. I knew it was coming - we were prepared that this was a possibility but you're never truly prepared to hear your dad tell you he has cancer. Fortunately, it's an early stage, low risk cancer and at this point the oncologist has decided to wait it out before taking action with treatments. We are all hopeful and positive and I trust things will be okay because I really don't know what else I'm suppose to do at this point.

Life has been a little funky for me lately. It is definitely not a bad life - I am blessed and I know that I'm just going through a bad stage. I just feel a little stuck and work has been draining me a bit, both physically and emotionally. I'm trying my best to pull myself out of it and I'm feeling positive that May will be a great month and June will be even better. May is a ton of exciting celebrations - birthdays and baby showers and the celebration of warm weather of course. Then in June 2 new babies will be coming into my life and I finally have a trip planned to visit my best friend in Vancouver. I am over the moon excited for this trip - I am counting down the days and I get giddy if I talk about it too much so I'll stop.

For now, I wake up every morning and try to go into my days with a good attitude. I'm eating healthy and have been back at the gym doing the Couch to 5k program and I'm feeling good. I've lost 12 lbs and that's pretty nice too. Going through ruts is easier when you're at least trying to feel your best to make life a little better and I really am trying. :)

So that's where I've been at in my head and what I've been doing. I feel a weight off my shoulders just having written this so that goes to show that I really do need to write more often. For now I'm off to make a grocery list, hit up the gym then fill my fridge with something other than ketchup and plum sauce.. classic.

Big Love,
Bailey J 

5 comments:

  1. awesome post..keep up the good work and the posiitve vibes.....life can be sucky but we rise above xo Debs

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  2. I just found your blog and I really like your style. How lucky for me that you decided to keep writing!

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  3. Always happy to see your blog come up...love you XOXOXO

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  4. I have missed your blog Bailey...always remember that those who criticize are unhappy in their own life.Keep that positive energy flowing you will come out a winner...:)

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  5. Love your blog and your honesty.. lucky guy who got to kiss you too..jealous :)

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