Friday, May 1

Why I Finally Quit POF.. For Good!

Tonight for the first time in a month, I logged onto POF. Let me start by saying I've logged back onto POF many times after many hiatuses. I've had multiple accounts (at different times) and whenever I deleted them, I knew deep downit was a "I need a break...for now" kind of deal.

In the past 2 years I've talked to hundreds and hundreds of men between POF and Tinder and if we're being totally honest, I maybe talked to 10 decent human beings. So tonight when I logged on, it was to delete my account and to delete it for good.

The last time I logged onto POF before tonight, like I said, was maybe a little over a month ago. I had met a guy I was interested in who seemed to be pursuing me more than any other guy I'd met recently. Once we went to text, I really had no need for POF anymore. When things went south with us after a couple of dates I was exhausted and didn't feel the need or have the energy to sign on and meet any more guys who were totally wrong for me. So I didn't.

I continued to chat with a couple of guys who I had met on POF but hadn't gone on dates with. One guy in particular, who seemed way too good looking to be on POF let alone be interested in me, paid an out of the ordinary amount of attention to me. He was dull and superficial but I thought he was hot and it was nice to feel pretty so I continued to talk to him and question him straight up if he really was who he said he was. After searching and searching and searching, I finally proved what I had thought all along : I was being cat fished. That was a breaking point for me : I could never subject myself to this POF bullshit again. I deleted the app on my phone and had not logged on until tonight.

I went on today just to make it final. To delete that account.. to have nothing to go to when Im feeling lonely and desperately single. And believe me.. I feel desperate. I'm crazy lonely and in a place where I want to commit to someone and have a (healthy) relationship. Fortunately and unfortunately for me, whichever way you choose to see it, my standards are quite high when it comes to the guy I want to be in  relationship with. There's no men in general knocking down my door for a date but if there were, I wouldn't be choosing just anyone who looked at me twice. I'm not being picky.. I just want to avoid wasting mine or anyone else's time.

I'm ready for a healthy relationship with a decent guy. Yes, I want a guy with a job. Yes, I want a guy who can provide for himself - I'll take care of me, you take care of you. Yes, I want to be pursued  and taken on a fucking date for once! I'll even pay half. I don't know if men are afraid to be seen with me in public or think they can just get into my pants without any effort but I have been on very few actual dates.. do other people go on dates? Is this a thing?! Sorry guys, you're not gettin up in this the first night you make time to sit on your couch and hang out with me. Take me on a couple dates for fucks sakes.. put some back into it.

I deleted POF because I'm not going to meet the kind of guy Im looking for on there. There may be some good guys on POF, that's not what I'm saying, I'm just no good at attracting them! I'm also not saying that you can't meet the guy you're looking for but I am saying that if you DO meet a decent guy or gal who is compatible with you and meets your standards through POF or Tinder - you, my friend, are the fucking EXCEPTION.

Ever seen 'He's Just Not That Into You'? I have a couple hundred times. I have to watch it often to remind myself not to text guys who don't ever text me because if they wanted to see me, they'd text me and they'd make it happen. And it also teaches me in a twisted way that yes, people find great women and men on POF and Tinder and even at the bar but they are exceptions to the rule..and I am not.

I want to meet someone organically and people just don't do that anymore. I am holding out hope though.. I will eventually meet a good guy, however it is we are suppose to meet, and I'm not going to be using POF or Tinder to meet him. I am more lonesome than I've ever been.. I admitted tonight at work that I'd go on a date with the 17 year old take out boy. This is not an excuse to give into POF just because 50 men would messge me tonight when I made a profile and make me feel a little better for half a second. Those 50 men would probably suck and Id be right back where I started.

So that's why I deleted POF and why I will remain single and lonely for the next couple months or years or decades..who fuckin knows?! I don't. But I know Im actually saving myself a lot of time, emotions and even heart ache by ditching POF.

Now, if you use it and enjoy it.. no worries. I'm not dissing you and you do your thang - everyone has a different experience. But would I recommend it to people my age? Not really.. not if you're looking for anything real. Thats just me..

Big Love,
Bailey 

7 comments:

  1. You've got some excellent points going on there Bail...XOXOXO

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know what you mean. Although I must say, PoF/Tinder aren't all bad. I found your blog on one of the two and have been following ever since.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good points .. and dont worry about it ...work on your yourself : live your life , love yourself, follow your dreams and some one will come along the way when you less expect it ☺

    ReplyDelete
  4. Getting addicted to looking at your pics.. still glad I "made your fucking day"... God damn it Bailey your sexy as fuck :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh and other then telling you that your sexy as fuck (which you should already know) I wanted to share the life advice that "A watched pot never boils!" The man that will make you the happiest girl in the world will appear when you aren't looking.. weird how the world works but it's true ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. The mesh in those leggings or whatever they are called that you tweeted a pic of... omg Bailey you are sexy!

    ReplyDelete
  7. That clears up a lot... So guys should assume that whichever woman theyre chatting with on pof, is almost certainly chatting with a bunch of other men, that would clear up a lot of confusion. Pretty sure you had a few good guys in that bunch, but you probably let shallow reservations get in the way, no shame in that.

    ReplyDelete

Leave some love, questions, suggestions or links! Advice and constructive criticism always welcome but no hate and negativity if you can help it at all! Thanks in advance xx

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools

previous blog entries.